1
00:00:10,460 --> 00:00:14,530
'Tonight - the new Porsche
Cayman on our track.'

2
00:00:14,580 --> 00:00:18,050
'The Ferrari, the Ferrari at
the limit in Italy, Italy.'

3
00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:21,040
'And an old Peugeot
goes past some goats.'

4
00:00:25,660 --> 00:00:28,490
APPLAUSE

5
00:00:28,540 --> 00:00:29,930
Hello!

6
00:00:29,980 --> 00:00:34,410
Hello, good evening, thank you
so much, everybody, thank you!

7
00:00:34,460 --> 00:00:36,050
Thanks very much, everyone.

8
00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:42,330
Now, every few years Chevrolet
introduces a new Corvette,

9
00:00:42,380 --> 00:00:46,970
and they always say this is the
best sports car in America.

10
00:00:47,020 --> 00:00:49,330
And you go, yes, in the same way that

11
00:00:49,380 --> 00:00:52,290
I'm the best-dressed
presenter on Top Gear.

12
00:00:52,340 --> 00:00:55,010
Which, actually, as you'll
see later on, I am.

13
00:00:55,060 --> 00:00:59,250
Anyway, the truth is no Corvette
has ever been a match for

14
00:00:59,300 --> 00:01:01,170
the best that Europe can do.

15
00:01:01,220 --> 00:01:04,610
And it looks like it's much
the same story with this,

16
00:01:04,660 --> 00:01:06,370
the latest model.

17
00:01:06,420 --> 00:01:07,610
But is it?

18
00:01:07,660 --> 00:01:10,740
Well, Richard Hammond
has been finding out.

19
00:01:18,940 --> 00:01:22,540
'To me, Corvettes have
always looked great.

20
00:01:24,820 --> 00:01:28,210
'And for this one, the
seventh generation,

21
00:01:28,260 --> 00:01:31,260
'they really have pulled
out all the stops.'

22
00:01:34,540 --> 00:01:36,730
Ohhh!

23
00:01:36,780 --> 00:01:38,410
Oh, yah.

24
00:01:38,460 --> 00:01:40,090
Ohhhh!

25
00:01:40,140 --> 00:01:42,810
Oh, no. Gets worse.

26
00:01:42,860 --> 00:01:44,410
They've even brought back

27
00:01:44,460 --> 00:01:47,540
the Stingray badge from the
classic Corvettes of the '60s.

28
00:01:48,740 --> 00:01:50,880
I'd say that was job done.

29
00:01:51,180 --> 00:01:53,980
'Except it isn't, because
there's more.'

30
00:01:58,260 --> 00:01:59,970
We have a 6.2 litre V8,

31
00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:03,210
460 horsepower and the
same number in torque,

32
00:02:03,260 --> 00:02:06,450
which means in any
gear, at any speed,

33
00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:08,640
you put your foot down...

34
00:02:09,060 --> 00:02:11,000
.. and stuff happens!

35
00:02:15,100 --> 00:02:16,580
HE LAUGHS

36
00:02:17,740 --> 00:02:19,540
There's the noise!

37
00:02:22,540 --> 00:02:25,010
There's the shove in the back.

38
00:02:25,060 --> 00:02:29,050
'0-60 is all over in
less than four seconds.

39
00:02:29,100 --> 00:02:31,770
'Top speed - 190.'

40
00:02:31,820 --> 00:02:33,220
HE LAUGHS

41
00:02:34,620 --> 00:02:37,490
Why do the oaf and the bore
not get what's going on here?

42
00:02:37,540 --> 00:02:42,210
I mean, James May likes a car
that makes his fizzy bit fizz.

43
00:02:42,260 --> 00:02:45,060
This'd put a SodaStream
in his grundies.

44
00:02:48,140 --> 00:02:51,130
'The Vette costs £65,000,

45
00:02:51,180 --> 00:02:53,450
'which might sound like a lot

46
00:02:53,500 --> 00:02:57,420
'until you compare it to its rivals
from this side of the pond.'

47
00:02:59,420 --> 00:03:03,090
To get a Jaguar F Type V8,
you'll need another 20,000.

48
00:03:03,140 --> 00:03:06,130
An Audi R8 V8, another 30,000.

49
00:03:06,180 --> 00:03:10,050
A 911 V8, well, you can't.
There's no such thing.

50
00:03:10,100 --> 00:03:13,250
But to get close to the
same power in a 911

51
00:03:13,300 --> 00:03:15,610
you'll need another £25,000.

52
00:03:15,660 --> 00:03:18,370
In fact, if you're looking
for a European sports car

53
00:03:18,420 --> 00:03:19,770
for the same money,

54
00:03:19,820 --> 00:03:21,820
you're looking at this.

55
00:03:25,660 --> 00:03:30,850
'It's the latest version
of the 911's baby brother,

56
00:03:30,900 --> 00:03:33,820
'the Porsche Cayman GTS.'

57
00:03:39,060 --> 00:03:42,210
But here's the thing - even
though the Cayman costs

58
00:03:42,260 --> 00:03:45,410
about the same as the Corvette,
when it comes to power difference,

59
00:03:45,460 --> 00:03:49,810
the gulf between them is wide
enough to swallow a supertanker.

60
00:03:49,860 --> 00:03:52,290
An American supertanker.

61
00:03:52,340 --> 00:03:57,250
This has 336 brake horsepower,
compared to the Corvette's 460.

62
00:03:57,300 --> 00:03:59,980
And this has 185 fewer torques.

63
00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:07,140
'All of which means it's absolutely
pointless having a drag race.'

64
00:04:08,460 --> 00:04:12,380
We're going to do it anyway because
we are intelligent and thorough.

65
00:04:13,540 --> 00:04:16,780
Three, two, one, go!

66
00:04:24,460 --> 00:04:25,890
'And there we are.

67
00:04:25,940 --> 00:04:28,540
'As I said, absolutely pointless.'

68
00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:32,930
But here's the thing.

69
00:04:32,980 --> 00:04:39,420
In its own right, the Cayman GTS is
a small but magnificent little thing.

70
00:04:43,020 --> 00:04:45,160
Pitch-perfect engineering.

71
00:04:45,820 --> 00:04:47,560
Total precision.

72
00:04:51,100 --> 00:04:55,330
It just feels lithe, nimble,
compact, all those words,

73
00:04:55,380 --> 00:04:58,890
balance, poise,
predictability, tractability,

74
00:04:58,940 --> 00:05:02,380
all those good, lovely, yummy
things. It's got them all.

75
00:05:04,860 --> 00:05:09,540
The perfect example of exactly what
a European sports car should be.

76
00:05:11,860 --> 00:05:15,290
'It's a crushing demonstration
of what's possible,

77
00:05:15,340 --> 00:05:17,930
'what good engineering should be.

78
00:05:17,980 --> 00:05:20,290
'And why Europe, not America,

79
00:05:20,340 --> 00:05:24,580
'has always been where you
turn for proper sports cars.'

80
00:05:25,940 --> 00:05:27,130
So here we are -

81
00:05:27,180 --> 00:05:30,250
at that point in the test where,
traditionally, I'd say,

82
00:05:30,300 --> 00:05:34,450
"The Corvette looks brilliant,
great value, lots of fun, but..."

83
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,250
And then I'd do a deep sigh.

84
00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:38,050
HE SIGHS

85
00:05:38,100 --> 00:05:39,970
Sadly, in the company of the Porsche,

86
00:05:40,020 --> 00:05:42,560
the Corvette simply can't hack it.

87
00:05:43,220 --> 00:05:46,540
Then we'd play some sad music and
I'd say, "Back to the studio."

88
00:05:48,060 --> 00:05:52,450
'But no. This time we're not
going back to the studio.

89
00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:54,690
'We're going back to the Corvette,

90
00:05:54,740 --> 00:05:58,890
'because this is no longer
some hillbilly hot rod.

91
00:05:58,940 --> 00:06:02,290
'It's got suspension
made of carbon fibre.

92
00:06:02,340 --> 00:06:07,050
'It has seat frames crafted
from ultra-light magnesium.

93
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:11,370
'It has different driving modes,
like you get in a Ferrari,

94
00:06:11,420 --> 00:06:15,490
'and that big shouty V8 can
shut down half its cylinders

95
00:06:15,540 --> 00:06:17,810
'to make it more economical.'

96
00:06:19,740 --> 00:06:23,700
Previous Corvette underbodies were
really not very far from that.

97
00:06:26,900 --> 00:06:30,010
But this is an all-new hi-tech
bonded aluminium affair that

98
00:06:30,060 --> 00:06:32,600
manages to be lighter and stiffer.

99
00:06:33,900 --> 00:06:38,890
Best of all is that it was developed
at the Nurburgring, not Nashville.

100
00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:41,450
'This means that the cornering is...'

101
00:06:41,500 --> 00:06:43,770
Well, it's a bit of an event!

102
00:06:51,780 --> 00:06:56,500
All this power, all this bigness,
but it's still essentially tameable.

103
00:06:59,140 --> 00:07:01,530
Remember when you had
a pet elephant as a kid?

104
00:07:01,580 --> 00:07:03,250
It's like that.

105
00:07:05,340 --> 00:07:08,900
It is Sweet Home Alabama, it's
cowgirls in denim shorts...

106
00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:17,500
Yes! It's everything
I wanted it to be!

107
00:07:18,660 --> 00:07:22,340
'But what it is more is a
match for the Europeans.'

108
00:07:23,940 --> 00:07:25,490
Let's be quite clear here.

109
00:07:25,540 --> 00:07:29,890
It's not like the Corvette has
lost all of its redneck charm.

110
00:07:29,940 --> 00:07:32,490
If the Porsche is a laboratory
full of laser beams,

111
00:07:32,540 --> 00:07:35,060
this is a Wild West saloon.

112
00:07:38,540 --> 00:07:41,210
But you don't have to apologise
for it. You don't have to say,

113
00:07:41,260 --> 00:07:44,970
"Well, at least it's cheap,"
or, "It's the best they can do."

114
00:07:45,020 --> 00:07:46,820
It simply is good.

115
00:07:48,220 --> 00:07:52,410
In fact, it's the best sports
car ever to come out of America,

116
00:07:52,460 --> 00:07:56,300
and for once, you can't follow
that up with a joke.

117
00:08:03,660 --> 00:08:06,650
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
It's a good car.

118
00:08:06,700 --> 00:08:08,370
It is annoying.

119
00:08:09,660 --> 00:08:13,690
That is annoying, because for
the second time this series,

120
00:08:13,740 --> 00:08:16,250
I agree with you. Actually,
the second time in my LIFE

121
00:08:16,300 --> 00:08:19,410
~ I agree with you.
~ Right, you're not going to
call me Billy Bob Hammond?

122
00:08:19,460 --> 00:08:22,170
No, and nor am I going
to mention that jacket.

123
00:08:22,220 --> 00:08:25,130
No, no, I know, I know you want
me to but I'm not going to.

124
00:08:25,180 --> 00:08:27,090
What I'm actually going
to do is ask you this.

125
00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:30,570
Which one of these
two would you have?

126
00:08:30,620 --> 00:08:32,930
Uh, you see, that's actually
really difficult

127
00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:34,690
cos they are both epic to drive.

128
00:08:34,740 --> 00:08:36,650
~ They are.
~ You can't argue with that.

129
00:08:36,700 --> 00:08:39,770
But, I don't know, I don't think
the Porsche looks very good.

130
00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:42,210
~ It looks dowdy.
~ It does, so I'd have the Corvette.

131
00:08:42,260 --> 00:08:44,370
The trouble is with the
Corvette, though, is

132
00:08:44,420 --> 00:08:46,650
you don't have to apologise
for it, as you said,

133
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:49,650
but you would have to explain it.
You'd have to go around saying,

134
00:08:49,700 --> 00:08:52,610
"Oh, it's got magnesium seats
and carbon fibre suspension,"

135
00:08:52,660 --> 00:08:55,530
or everyone would just think
you were a dreadful show-off.

136
00:08:55,580 --> 00:08:59,530
Yeah, it would be like taking a lap
dancer home to meet your mother.

137
00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:02,170
You'd have to say, "No,
she's got A-Levels!"

138
00:09:02,220 --> 00:09:03,810
You're absolutely right.

139
00:09:03,860 --> 00:09:08,650
So what we've got here is a choice
between a slightly dirty librarian

140
00:09:08,700 --> 00:09:10,770
and a clever lap dancer.

141
00:09:12,180 --> 00:09:14,810
So let's see which is the
fastest round our track.

142
00:09:14,860 --> 00:09:19,690
Of course, that means handing them
over to our tame racing driver.

143
00:09:19,740 --> 00:09:23,690
Some say that his favourite
flower is the potato,

144
00:09:23,740 --> 00:09:28,170
and that even though he's now
seen Fifty Shades of Grey,

145
00:09:28,220 --> 00:09:32,490
he still thinks BDSM
is a driving school.

146
00:09:32,540 --> 00:09:35,050
All we know is he's called the Stig!

147
00:09:35,100 --> 00:09:37,330
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

148
00:09:37,380 --> 00:09:39,770
'And they're off! Two
confident starts there.

149
00:09:39,820 --> 00:09:42,890
'The Porsche is mid-engine,
the Corvette has a transaxle.

150
00:09:42,940 --> 00:09:45,650
'Both clearly had good
traction off the line.

151
00:09:45,700 --> 00:09:49,660
'It's the scalpel versus the hammer,
flying through the first corner.

152
00:09:50,860 --> 00:09:53,450
'And, oh, wow, it's the
Porsche that's sliding!

153
00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:56,300
MUSIC: "Close To You"
by the Carpenters

154
00:09:59,820 --> 00:10:03,210
'Seems to be reversing
round in the Corvette.

155
00:10:03,260 --> 00:10:04,850
'Right through Chicago,

156
00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:07,450
'again it's the Cayman that's
kicking its tail out.

157
00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:11,370
'Shock and awe Chevy
completely under control!

158
00:10:11,420 --> 00:10:13,930
'This is the real test,
of course, Hammerhead.

159
00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:15,930
'Yep, Corvette gets
a bit of a slide on

160
00:10:15,980 --> 00:10:19,620
'as the Stig unleashes
a 460 horsepower drift!

161
00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:25,210
'Right, follow through.

162
00:10:25,260 --> 00:10:29,180
'Porsche needs some corrective lock
on the way in, that's a surprise.

163
00:10:31,020 --> 00:10:35,530
'OK, now we're coming up. Just
two corners left, braking hard,

164
00:10:35,580 --> 00:10:40,090
'no dramas from either side
of the Atlantic, into Gambon.

165
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:43,170
'Yes, the Cayman's sliding
again! And across the line!'

166
00:10:43,220 --> 00:10:44,970
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

167
00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:46,620
~ Right.
~ Yeah.

168
00:10:47,340 --> 00:10:49,340
I have the times here.

169
00:10:50,860 --> 00:10:52,850
The pantyless Porsche librarian -

170
00:10:52,900 --> 00:10:55,250
1:21.6.

171
00:10:55,300 --> 00:10:59,290
~ So, not bad, same as an Audi R8 V10.
~ That's quick, yeah.

172
00:10:59,340 --> 00:11:01,450
~ But...
~ HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

173
00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:03,450
.. the clever lap dancer...

174
00:11:03,500 --> 00:11:05,490
~ 1:19.8.
~ No way! That's...!

175
00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:08,450
Look at that, same as
a Porsche Carrera GT.

176
00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:10,130
That is a seriously fast car.

177
00:11:10,180 --> 00:11:12,570
There's been a disturbance
in the Force!

178
00:11:12,620 --> 00:11:14,850
Something weird's happening.

179
00:11:14,900 --> 00:11:17,450
Anyway, the news, and
we start with this,

180
00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:20,210
the new Ford Focus RS.

181
00:11:20,260 --> 00:11:25,010
That has 320 horsepower from
a 2.3 litre turbocharged engine.

182
00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:28,490
And, most important,
this, four-wheel drive.

183
00:11:28,540 --> 00:11:30,610
You know what this is, don't you?

184
00:11:30,660 --> 00:11:33,850
~ Mm-mm.
~ This is the return of the Escort Cosworth.
~ Yeah.

185
00:11:33,900 --> 00:11:35,170
Happy days!

186
00:11:35,220 --> 00:11:38,850
It is, I'm excited, but it won't
be as good as a Fiesta ST.

187
00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:40,690
~ Well, it will.
~ No, it won't!
~ It will!

188
00:11:40,740 --> 00:11:42,810
~ The Fiesta's...!
~ 320 horsepowers!

189
00:11:42,860 --> 00:11:46,090
I know but it's about purity
of experience in a hot hatch.

190
00:11:46,140 --> 00:11:49,650
That comes, apparently, according
to one source in America

191
00:11:49,700 --> 00:11:51,690
~ with a drift button.
~ A what?

192
00:11:51,740 --> 00:11:54,370
Drift button, push that,
even he'll be able to drift.

193
00:11:54,420 --> 00:11:56,410
~ What, you push that and it just drifts?
~ Yes.

194
00:11:56,460 --> 00:11:57,690
I don't want to drift.

195
00:11:57,740 --> 00:12:01,170
~ Yes, you do!
~ I don't. Drifting is for the unintelligent.

196
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:02,850
It isn't!

197
00:12:02,900 --> 00:12:04,930
It's a mating ritual. Girls love it!

198
00:12:04,980 --> 00:12:06,770
Yeah, he's right.

199
00:12:06,820 --> 00:12:09,890
No, it is, it's like
having a massive tail.

200
00:12:09,940 --> 00:12:11,980
LAUGHTER

201
00:12:14,020 --> 00:12:15,290
It's just me -

202
00:12:15,340 --> 00:12:17,020
in Ross-on-Wye.

203
00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:22,810
Ooh, now, you know Apple, makers
of computers and, um, telephones?

204
00:12:22,860 --> 00:12:24,930
~ Yes.
~ Apparently they're working on a car.

205
00:12:24,980 --> 00:12:27,850
~ Really?
~ Yes.
~ Does it come with predictive steering?

206
00:12:27,900 --> 00:12:29,530
That's never going to work, is it?

207
00:12:29,580 --> 00:12:32,370
It is... No, I'm not sure that
it will work, cos every time

208
00:12:32,420 --> 00:12:35,090
you get in it, it will say,
"What's your iTunes password?"

209
00:12:35,140 --> 00:12:37,890
And then it'll make you have
one that you can't remember.

210
00:12:37,940 --> 00:12:40,290
And then it'll go wrong,
and you'll ring them up

211
00:12:40,340 --> 00:12:43,610
and they'll say, "Oh, it's your
fault, you're holding it wrong."

212
00:12:43,660 --> 00:12:44,930
And then one day it'll send

213
00:12:44,980 --> 00:12:47,250
a picture of your bosoms
to the internet.

214
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:48,530
LAUGHTER

215
00:12:48,580 --> 00:12:50,450
You're right about
the, um, passwords,

216
00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:52,490
cos Apple iTunes the
other day said to me,

217
00:12:52,540 --> 00:12:55,490
"You must change your password,
it's far too easy to guess."

218
00:12:55,540 --> 00:12:58,930
And I thought, how's anybody ever
going to guess it's "Carrot29?"

219
00:12:58,980 --> 00:13:01,090
~ I mean, that's...
~ Now, I tell you what,

220
00:13:01,140 --> 00:13:04,290
there's a general election
coming up, you may have heard.

221
00:13:04,340 --> 00:13:06,570
~ Is there?
~ Yes, there is, even in Wales.

222
00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:09,690
And, um, and a lot
of people are saying,

223
00:13:09,740 --> 00:13:11,490
"Oh, I can't be bothered
to get involved,

224
00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:14,530
"and all politicians are the same
and all the parties are the same."

225
00:13:14,580 --> 00:13:17,010
So we thought, I wonder if we
could decide who to vote for,

226
00:13:17,060 --> 00:13:18,490
on what the leaders drive.

227
00:13:18,540 --> 00:13:20,090
~ Great idea.
~ Very good idea.

228
00:13:20,140 --> 00:13:21,850
It is, so I've managed
to find it out.

229
00:13:21,900 --> 00:13:23,490
It's not been easy but we've done it.

230
00:13:23,540 --> 00:13:26,370
Now, David Cameron, who runs the
Conservative Party, OK, he...

231
00:13:26,420 --> 00:13:28,730
Well, he doesn't actually have a car,

232
00:13:28,780 --> 00:13:31,050
but the family car
is a Honda CRV, OK?

233
00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:33,370
Nick Clegg has a Ford Galaxy.

234
00:13:33,420 --> 00:13:35,820
~ Oh, dear.
~ Eurgh.
~ Shocking car.

235
00:13:37,500 --> 00:13:40,250
Ed Miliband has a
Lamborghini Aventador.

236
00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:41,330
Does he?

237
00:13:41,380 --> 00:13:43,570
LAUGHTER

238
00:13:43,620 --> 00:13:47,330
~ I was lying. He's got a
turquoise green Ford Focus.
~ Oh.

239
00:13:47,380 --> 00:13:49,490
Nigel Farage, guess what he drives?

240
00:13:49,540 --> 00:13:50,850
~ A Jag.
~ Yeah, it will be.

241
00:13:50,900 --> 00:13:52,170
~ A Jag!
~ Jag!
~ Anybody else?

242
00:13:52,220 --> 00:13:55,210
Anybody want to hazard a guess,
what Nigel Farage drives.

243
00:13:55,260 --> 00:13:57,250
~ AUDIENCE SHOUT SUGGESTIONS
~ A what?

244
00:13:57,300 --> 00:13:58,690
~ Bentley!
~ A Bentley, could be.

245
00:13:58,740 --> 00:14:01,210
~ M3.
~ M3?

246
00:14:01,260 --> 00:14:03,810
You are aware of Ukip,
are you, and their...?

247
00:14:03,860 --> 00:14:05,770
LAUGHTER

248
00:14:05,820 --> 00:14:08,370
Nigel Farage drives a Volvo V70.

249
00:14:08,420 --> 00:14:10,130
~ Does he?
~ Really?

250
00:14:10,180 --> 00:14:11,930
He drives an immigrant.

251
00:14:11,980 --> 00:14:14,020
LAUGHTER

252
00:14:15,460 --> 00:14:17,130
~ Nicola Sturgeon.
~ Who?

253
00:14:17,180 --> 00:14:18,920
Nicola Sturgeon.

254
00:14:19,580 --> 00:14:22,450
~ SNP, Scottish.
~ Oh, THAT Nicola Sturgeon!

255
00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:25,050
~ Yes, Hammond, that Nicola Sturgeon.
~ What about her?

256
00:14:25,100 --> 00:14:28,410
~ May, have a guess.
~ Oh, I know, uh, a McLaren.

257
00:14:28,460 --> 00:14:30,540
LAUGHTER

258
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:34,620
APPLAUSE

259
00:14:37,740 --> 00:14:39,370
Nicola Sturgeon doesn't drive.

260
00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:41,690
~ What, in Scotland?
~ I know, I don't understand.

261
00:14:41,740 --> 00:14:44,450
How do you get around in Scotland,
if you haven't got a car?

262
00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:45,850
No idea, anyway, she doesn't.

263
00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:48,930
Leanne Wood, that's your
lot, Welsh, Plaid Cay-mru!

264
00:14:48,980 --> 00:14:51,010
Er, an ox.

265
00:14:51,060 --> 00:14:52,930
LAUGHTER

266
00:14:52,980 --> 00:14:54,450
Volkswagen Passat.

267
00:14:54,500 --> 00:14:57,010
Oh, god, I hate the Passat!

268
00:14:57,060 --> 00:14:59,530
Natalie Bennett from the Green Party?

269
00:14:59,580 --> 00:15:01,490
Oh, a Lamborghini LM002.

270
00:15:01,540 --> 00:15:03,930
We've got a picture of one
of those, I think, somewhere.

271
00:15:03,980 --> 00:15:05,570
~ Yes, there it is.
~ That's the one.

272
00:15:05,620 --> 00:15:07,650
You think that the Green
Party boss drives that?

273
00:15:07,700 --> 00:15:09,530
~ Yeah, does she?
~ You're absolutely right.

274
00:15:09,580 --> 00:15:10,850
~ Am I?
~ Yeah, she doesn't.
~ Oh.

275
00:15:10,900 --> 00:15:13,570
No, she doesn't have
one of those, weirdly.

276
00:15:13,620 --> 00:15:16,890
She doesn't own a car but she
is a member of a car club.

277
00:15:16,940 --> 00:15:19,930
Is it the Dodge Charger Owners' Club?

278
00:15:19,980 --> 00:15:23,180
~ Weirdly, James, it isn't.
~ Do they do track days?

279
00:15:23,780 --> 00:15:25,970
The thing is, right,
all these leaders,

280
00:15:26,020 --> 00:15:30,050
every single one of them has
a rubbish car, every single one.

281
00:15:30,100 --> 00:15:32,050
~ Yeah.
~ And I know why.

282
00:15:32,100 --> 00:15:35,170
It's cos they all want to be seen
as a man, or a woman, of the people.

283
00:15:35,220 --> 00:15:38,330
~ Yes, I suspect it is.
~ Yeah, but, yeah, but
you can be seen as a man,

284
00:15:38,380 --> 00:15:41,610
or a woman, of the people, but
still drive an interesting car.

285
00:15:41,660 --> 00:15:44,490
Yeah, you could have a Fiesta
ST. That's a nice car.

286
00:15:44,540 --> 00:15:47,170
Would we vote for somebody
who had a Ford Fiesta ST?

287
00:15:47,220 --> 00:15:48,490
I would, immediately.

288
00:15:48,540 --> 00:15:49,810
I would immediately.

289
00:15:49,860 --> 00:15:51,170
~ What?
~ No.

290
00:15:51,220 --> 00:15:52,490
~ You wouldn't.
~ Why not?

291
00:15:52,540 --> 00:15:56,020
What would you vote for, someone
who's interested in the NHS(?)

292
00:15:57,780 --> 00:16:00,210
No, somebody's who's
interested in Formula 1.

293
00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:02,890
You'd vote for someone,
irrespective of policies,

294
00:16:02,940 --> 00:16:05,130
~ if they were interested in Formula 1?
~ Yes.

295
00:16:05,180 --> 00:16:08,570
Are you watching this, Mr Cameron
and Miliband and Clegg?

296
00:16:08,620 --> 00:16:11,170
This is what's going to
win a massive audience.

297
00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:14,970
Who here would vote for someone
who was interested in Formula 1?

298
00:16:15,020 --> 00:16:19,850
~ CROWD: Yes!
~ There you go, 100% of the
British people want you to be

299
00:16:19,900 --> 00:16:22,050
interested in Formula 1!

300
00:16:22,100 --> 00:16:27,490
Uh, now, I came down here this
morning in a Volkswagen Golf GTi.

301
00:16:27,540 --> 00:16:31,170
It's what I'm using this week,
absolutely fabulous car.

302
00:16:31,220 --> 00:16:34,170
Yeah, very good, not as good as
the Fiesta ST, but it is good.

303
00:16:34,220 --> 00:16:37,530
It is, except for one thing. It's
got a really annoying thing on it.

304
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:39,810
Has anyone got a Golf at the
moment with its eco tips?

305
00:16:39,860 --> 00:16:41,130
~ You get the...
~ I do.

306
00:16:41,180 --> 00:16:42,810
How annoying are they?

307
00:16:42,860 --> 00:16:45,690
You're driving along and every
now and again it'll just flash up

308
00:16:45,740 --> 00:16:47,610
a little message on the
dashboard, it goes,

309
00:16:47,660 --> 00:16:50,450
"Why not wind your window
up? Be more aerodynamic."

310
00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:52,130
Cos I want to get some fresh air.

311
00:16:52,180 --> 00:16:54,930
"Why not change up a
gear? It'll be more..."

312
00:16:54,980 --> 00:16:59,210
"Why not, why not shut up," is what
you want to say to it all the time.

313
00:16:59,260 --> 00:17:01,890
It drives you... I'd go mad with it!

314
00:17:01,940 --> 00:17:05,810
If I worked at VW, in their
software department thing,

315
00:17:05,860 --> 00:17:08,410
I'd put some messages in
there but with a time thing,

316
00:17:08,460 --> 00:17:10,850
so that it didn't appear until
after I'd retired, really.

317
00:17:10,900 --> 00:17:12,650
You'd be driving along,
and it would say,

318
00:17:12,700 --> 00:17:15,450
"Wind the window up. Why not slow
down a bit? Why not change up?"

319
00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:16,930
Then it would suddenly just say,

320
00:17:16,980 --> 00:17:19,130
"Why don't you go
and boil your head?"

321
00:17:19,180 --> 00:17:20,810
But it would only say it once,

322
00:17:20,860 --> 00:17:23,050
so you wouldn't be sure
if you'd actually seen it.

323
00:17:23,100 --> 00:17:24,930
And then another time
you'd be driving,

324
00:17:24,980 --> 00:17:28,010
it might be three years later. You'd
be driving along, and it would say,

325
00:17:28,060 --> 00:17:29,730
"Wind your window up, change gear."

326
00:17:29,780 --> 00:17:32,330
Then it would suddenly go,
"You've wasted your life."

327
00:17:32,380 --> 00:17:34,450
But you'd only see
that once, you see.

328
00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:37,090
That would really freak drivers out!

329
00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:38,450
It could suddenly just say,

330
00:17:38,500 --> 00:17:40,930
"Your wife's had an affair
with the bloke next door."

331
00:17:40,980 --> 00:17:43,130
And you'd get to the dealer
and say, "It said that!"

332
00:17:43,180 --> 00:17:45,450
And he'd say, "No, it didn't,
it can't have said that."

333
00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:46,810
It didn't, it can't have done.

334
00:17:46,860 --> 00:17:49,330
But the thing is, though,
it would take Volkswagen

335
00:17:49,380 --> 00:17:50,650
a long time to work out.

336
00:17:50,700 --> 00:17:53,050
Then they would have
to call you up and say,

337
00:17:53,100 --> 00:17:54,650
"Mr May, step into my office."

338
00:17:54,700 --> 00:17:57,290
Ah, but I've retired. I'm
dribbling in an old folks' home

339
00:17:57,340 --> 00:18:00,010
laughing at people
who bought VW Golfs.

340
00:18:00,060 --> 00:18:02,210
Now, I have one more piece of...

341
00:18:02,260 --> 00:18:06,130
I think, ladies and gentlemen,
you're going to enjoy this.

342
00:18:06,180 --> 00:18:08,370
The mayor of Bristol, OK,

343
00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:11,570
he announced fairly recently
that he was going to allocate

344
00:18:11,620 --> 00:18:14,610
£2.3 million of public money

345
00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:18,370
which will be spent on 13,000 signs

346
00:18:18,420 --> 00:18:22,130
saying that there will a 20mph speed
limit across the whole of Bristol.

347
00:18:22,180 --> 00:18:23,730
This is the mayor.

348
00:18:23,780 --> 00:18:25,370
He's just been caught speeding.

349
00:18:25,420 --> 00:18:27,410
LAUGHTER

350
00:18:27,460 --> 00:18:32,050
I think we should all take a moment
to compose our faces appropriately.

351
00:18:32,100 --> 00:18:35,600
~ Yeah.
~ I'm going to go for serious
and disapproving.

352
00:18:36,300 --> 00:18:38,690
Oh, no! How did...? Oh...

353
00:18:38,740 --> 00:18:42,890
He actually said, afterwards, he
commends Avon and Somerset police

354
00:18:42,940 --> 00:18:44,850
for being so vigilant
in catching him.

355
00:18:44,900 --> 00:18:48,490
I bet he didn't say that when the
letter came through the post box.

356
00:18:48,540 --> 00:18:50,050
Right, let's move on.

357
00:18:50,100 --> 00:18:54,170
Now, last year McLaren gave
us the astonishing P1,

358
00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:58,770
and Porsche gave us the
equally fantastic 918.

359
00:18:58,820 --> 00:19:03,850
But we've always known that there
is another hybrid supercar coming.

360
00:19:03,900 --> 00:19:06,250
Well, it's not coming any more.

361
00:19:06,300 --> 00:19:08,890
It's here, it's the one you've
all been waiting for,

362
00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:10,930
and I have been driving it -

363
00:19:10,980 --> 00:19:13,620
The Ferrari, the Ferrari!

364
00:19:23,700 --> 00:19:27,690
'McLaren and Porsche may believe
they've created good-looking cars

365
00:19:27,740 --> 00:19:29,860
'in the P1 and the 918.

366
00:19:34,180 --> 00:19:38,690
'But I think they need to get
their pencil cases out again,

367
00:19:38,740 --> 00:19:42,340
'because THIS is what a supercar
should look like.'

368
00:19:57,700 --> 00:20:01,090
And THIS is what a supercar
should sound like!

369
00:20:01,140 --> 00:20:02,940
ENGINE ROARS

370
00:20:10,980 --> 00:20:14,250
No miserable V8s or puny
little turbochargers -

371
00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:17,140
THAT is Ferrari's Greatest Hit!

372
00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:23,890
The sound of 12 cylinders
properly arranged in a V.

373
00:20:23,940 --> 00:20:26,260
Molte grazie!

374
00:20:33,860 --> 00:20:35,450
And then there's the price.

375
00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:38,900
LaFerrari has the other
two licked there, as well.

376
00:20:40,420 --> 00:20:43,930
The Porsche 918, £646,000.

377
00:20:43,980 --> 00:20:48,050
The McLaren V1, £866,000.

378
00:20:48,100 --> 00:20:49,700
The LaFerrari?

379
00:20:51,380 --> 00:20:53,090
A million pounds!

380
00:20:53,140 --> 00:20:54,650
That's a proper price!

381
00:20:54,700 --> 00:20:56,440
No muckin' about!

382
00:20:57,780 --> 00:21:00,090
'And there's more.'

383
00:21:00,140 --> 00:21:03,450
Pinky and Perky have been
at great pains to explain

384
00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:06,370
just how clever the McLaren
and the Porsche are.

385
00:21:06,420 --> 00:21:10,460
Well, this is also very clever.

386
00:21:13,820 --> 00:21:16,130
It's built from not one,

387
00:21:16,180 --> 00:21:19,970
but four different
types of carbon fibre

388
00:21:20,020 --> 00:21:22,370
to keep it as light as possible.

389
00:21:22,420 --> 00:21:26,180
In fact, it's lighter than
the Porsche OR the McLaren.

390
00:21:27,700 --> 00:21:29,330
The driver's seat is fixed,

391
00:21:29,380 --> 00:21:32,090
and, instead, it's the wheel
and pedals that move.

392
00:21:32,140 --> 00:21:34,970
This means you don't
need a seat mechanism,

393
00:21:35,020 --> 00:21:39,410
which means the driver can sit
lower, the roof can be lower,

394
00:21:39,460 --> 00:21:43,170
and that drops the
centre of gravity...

395
00:21:43,220 --> 00:21:46,010
to the benefit of cornering.

396
00:21:46,060 --> 00:21:48,330
Then, we come to the engine.

397
00:21:51,460 --> 00:21:55,370
Like the McLaren and the Porsche,
LaFerrari is a hybrid -

398
00:21:55,420 --> 00:21:59,410
it has a petrol engine AND an electric
motor to drive the wheels.

399
00:21:59,460 --> 00:22:03,410
BUT... whereas the other two can
be driven on electric power alone,

400
00:22:03,460 --> 00:22:08,090
like a Toyota Prius, the Ferrari
can't, because, Ferrari say,

401
00:22:08,140 --> 00:22:11,730
"We are not interested
in electric cars."

402
00:22:11,780 --> 00:22:15,050
Instead, the battery and
electric motor combination

403
00:22:15,100 --> 00:22:20,610
works a bit like the kinetic energy
recovery system in an F1 car.

404
00:22:20,660 --> 00:22:24,370
In very simple terms, it captures
energy that's normally wasted -

405
00:22:24,420 --> 00:22:28,500
during braking, for example - and
keeps it for when you need it.

406
00:22:37,900 --> 00:22:39,730
The electric motor,
the petrol engine -

407
00:22:39,780 --> 00:22:42,530
they're all working together,
all of the time.

408
00:22:42,580 --> 00:22:44,720
You cannot separate them.

409
00:22:46,500 --> 00:22:50,900
This is simply a 950
horsepower supercar.

410
00:22:54,620 --> 00:22:57,050
But, despite the racing technology,

411
00:22:57,100 --> 00:23:01,220
you don't find yourself in a world
of austere track-car misery.

412
00:23:03,580 --> 00:23:05,330
You've got the sat nav,

413
00:23:05,380 --> 00:23:07,410
the air conditioning...

414
00:23:07,460 --> 00:23:09,730
It's perfectly comfortable.

415
00:23:09,780 --> 00:23:12,900
Actually, it's very civilised.

416
00:23:16,700 --> 00:23:20,130
However, this is also supposed
to be the fastest

417
00:23:20,180 --> 00:23:22,290
and most exciting road car

418
00:23:22,340 --> 00:23:24,340
Ferrari has ever made.

419
00:23:24,980 --> 00:23:28,020
And to find out how exciting,
we must come here...

420
00:23:29,980 --> 00:23:32,250
Ferrari's Fiorano test track.

421
00:23:34,060 --> 00:23:37,330
To Prancing Horse fans,
this is the sacred tarmac

422
00:23:37,380 --> 00:23:40,580
where the company's greatest
F1 cars were born.

423
00:23:42,820 --> 00:23:47,610
But when I rolled up, "sacred"
wasn't the word that came to mind.

424
00:23:47,660 --> 00:23:51,340
THUNDER

425
00:23:53,220 --> 00:23:54,850
Oh, cock!

426
00:23:54,900 --> 00:23:58,660
'After two hours of dithering
on the start line...'

427
00:23:59,940 --> 00:24:01,530
Pedals a little bit further away.

428
00:24:01,580 --> 00:24:03,370
WHIRRING

429
00:24:03,420 --> 00:24:04,930
No, that's too far away. Hang on.

430
00:24:04,980 --> 00:24:06,530
WHIRRING

431
00:24:06,580 --> 00:24:09,820
'.. the track was finally dry
enough for me to have a go.'

432
00:24:12,580 --> 00:24:14,520
Red, red, red, red...

433
00:24:25,940 --> 00:24:28,100
God's holy trousers!

434
00:24:37,900 --> 00:24:40,770
Strewth! I'm already
at the first bend.

435
00:24:40,820 --> 00:24:42,490
Lots of brakes.

436
00:24:46,020 --> 00:24:49,980
That, ladies and gentlemen,
is 950 horsepower for you!

437
00:24:51,100 --> 00:24:52,290
And while we're at it,

438
00:24:52,340 --> 00:24:55,620
950 horsepower is a slam-dunk
Top Trump over the other two.

439
00:24:58,060 --> 00:25:01,860
And so is the top speed - 218mph.

440
00:25:03,900 --> 00:25:07,330
'But it's not just the amount
of horsepower that's impressive,

441
00:25:07,380 --> 00:25:09,720
'it's the way it's served up.'

442
00:25:10,380 --> 00:25:13,210
Even if you're a bit
clumsy or a bit timid,

443
00:25:13,260 --> 00:25:15,090
as I am being on this one,

444
00:25:15,140 --> 00:25:17,170
you've still got that enormous grunt.

445
00:25:17,220 --> 00:25:19,960
It just hits you like
a runaway train.

446
00:25:21,740 --> 00:25:23,530
That's the KERS system working.

447
00:25:23,580 --> 00:25:25,850
That's exactly what it's for.

448
00:25:27,060 --> 00:25:28,930
'On top of that, Ferrari
has remembered

449
00:25:28,980 --> 00:25:31,130
'that not everyone
who'll drive this car

450
00:25:31,180 --> 00:25:33,850
'will be called Sebastian or Vettel.'

451
00:25:38,540 --> 00:25:42,290
Because LaFerrari will go quite
a lot faster than you can think,

452
00:25:42,340 --> 00:25:44,490
Ferrari do quite a lot
of thinking for you.

453
00:25:44,540 --> 00:25:47,090
It has for example a
very, very sophisticated

454
00:25:47,140 --> 00:25:50,250
traction control system
based on Formula 1 tech,

455
00:25:50,300 --> 00:25:52,530
and you can leave it turned on.

456
00:25:52,580 --> 00:25:53,930
Why not?

457
00:25:53,980 --> 00:25:55,850
Stops you crashing.

458
00:25:57,020 --> 00:26:00,650
LaFerrari also bristles
with active aerodynamics.

459
00:26:00,700 --> 00:26:02,810
That's not new on a supercar,

460
00:26:02,860 --> 00:26:06,850
but this system is controlled
by 21 computers...

461
00:26:06,900 --> 00:26:09,890
which means, according
to the Ferrari eggheads,

462
00:26:09,940 --> 00:26:14,180
even I should be able to take
Fiorano's notorious Turn 7...

463
00:26:15,580 --> 00:26:17,120
.. flat out.

464
00:26:19,060 --> 00:26:21,530
Active aerodynamics - here we go.

465
00:26:22,340 --> 00:26:26,010
Don't bottle it, don't bottle it!

466
00:26:26,060 --> 00:26:27,800
Oh-ho-ho-hoo...!

467
00:26:29,300 --> 00:26:31,300
It works! Look at that!

468
00:26:34,260 --> 00:26:37,060
The faster you go,
the better it works!

469
00:26:38,820 --> 00:26:40,850
I mean, like Jennifer's McLaren,

470
00:26:40,900 --> 00:26:43,290
it is pure rear-wheel drive,

471
00:26:43,340 --> 00:26:47,140
and that's quite intimidating,
but it's not a widowmaker.

472
00:26:51,340 --> 00:26:53,890
Ah-ha-ha-ha...!

473
00:26:53,940 --> 00:26:55,410
Oh, my God!

474
00:26:57,140 --> 00:26:58,620
Oh, yes!

475
00:27:02,140 --> 00:27:03,940
Wahey! (Sorry!)

476
00:27:05,940 --> 00:27:08,290
Right, let's just slow
this down a bit.

477
00:27:08,340 --> 00:27:11,090
Richard Hammond, he
says the Porsche 918 -

478
00:27:11,140 --> 00:27:14,410
that's the one that takes the
hybrid supercar the furthest.

479
00:27:14,460 --> 00:27:16,570
It's the most responsible,
if you like.

480
00:27:16,620 --> 00:27:18,570
Jeremy likes the P1 because he says

481
00:27:18,620 --> 00:27:21,890
it takes an idea that was
essentially an environmental one

482
00:27:21,940 --> 00:27:25,140
and uses it to make the
supercar more dramatic.

483
00:27:27,020 --> 00:27:30,340
'In this respect, the Ferrari
is more like the McLaren.'

484
00:27:32,860 --> 00:27:34,930
Except for two things...

485
00:27:35,540 --> 00:27:38,050
LaFerrari looks better...

486
00:27:38,100 --> 00:27:40,240
and I reckon it IS better.

487
00:27:42,660 --> 00:27:45,420
This is the greatest
car in the world!

488
00:28:02,420 --> 00:28:05,130
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

489
00:28:05,180 --> 00:28:06,810
Well, now there we are.

490
00:28:06,860 --> 00:28:08,400
Here we are.

491
00:28:10,140 --> 00:28:13,010
Now you may remember last year,

492
00:28:13,060 --> 00:28:15,930
after Hammond had driven
the Porsche I said to him,

493
00:28:15,980 --> 00:28:20,810
that if it turned out to be faster
around our track than the McLaren

494
00:28:20,860 --> 00:28:23,050
I would change my name
by deed poll to Jennifer -

495
00:28:23,100 --> 00:28:24,330
you remember that?

496
00:28:24,380 --> 00:28:26,610
~ Oh, yeah. You said that.
~ ALL: Yes!

497
00:28:26,660 --> 00:28:29,130
And now we have James May telling us,

498
00:28:29,180 --> 00:28:30,690
rather bumptiously, I think,

499
00:28:30,740 --> 00:28:33,770
because he hasn't driven
the McLaren or the Porsche,

500
00:28:33,820 --> 00:28:35,450
that the Ferrari is best.

501
00:28:35,500 --> 00:28:39,930
So, who here would like
to see which of these cars

502
00:28:39,980 --> 00:28:42,410
is the fastest round our track?

503
00:28:42,460 --> 00:28:44,410
EVERYONE: Yes!

504
00:28:44,460 --> 00:28:46,130
So would we.

505
00:28:46,180 --> 00:28:47,490
So would Porsche.

506
00:28:47,540 --> 00:28:48,930
But we have a problem.

507
00:28:48,980 --> 00:28:53,170
McLaren has said that we can't
do the test at our track.

508
00:28:53,220 --> 00:28:55,290
What?

509
00:28:55,340 --> 00:28:57,930
Well, hang on - our track
is also McLaren's track.

510
00:28:57,980 --> 00:29:00,570
~ That's where they developed this car.
~ Yes, I know,

511
00:29:00,620 --> 00:29:03,330
and because I know that,
I also know that they know

512
00:29:03,380 --> 00:29:06,130
that the twiddly bits at
the Hammerhead, and so on,

513
00:29:06,180 --> 00:29:09,810
will favour the four-wheel
drive system of the Porsche.

514
00:29:09,860 --> 00:29:11,890
All right, we'll do it
at a different track.

515
00:29:11,940 --> 00:29:13,970
Well, that brings us on
to the second problem.

516
00:29:14,020 --> 00:29:16,210
Ferrari has spent the
last six months saying,

517
00:29:16,260 --> 00:29:18,090
"No, we don't want to do it, at all.

518
00:29:18,140 --> 00:29:20,930
"Cos we're not interested in
speed, or 0-60, or lap times..."

519
00:29:20,980 --> 00:29:22,330
Really(?)

520
00:29:22,380 --> 00:29:25,570
That's what they've been saying,
but... I kid you not, they have.

521
00:29:25,620 --> 00:29:29,090
But in the last couple of weeks
or so, they've started to soften

522
00:29:29,140 --> 00:29:31,730
and say, "Well, maybe
we can lend you a car."

523
00:29:31,780 --> 00:29:33,210
Well, there you go then. Game on.

524
00:29:33,260 --> 00:29:34,730
No, see, there's another problem.

525
00:29:34,780 --> 00:29:37,170
McLaren is saying they
will only do this

526
00:29:37,220 --> 00:29:39,330
if all of the cars are customer cars,

527
00:29:39,380 --> 00:29:41,530
they're production cars
that have been sold - yes?

528
00:29:41,580 --> 00:29:45,690
They don't want them turning up with
sticky tyres and 17 turbos on them.

529
00:29:45,740 --> 00:29:47,890
Ferrari is saying they'll only do it

530
00:29:47,940 --> 00:29:51,130
if the cars DO come direct
from the factory.

531
00:29:51,180 --> 00:29:52,330
Well, all right, then.

532
00:29:52,380 --> 00:29:55,170
We'll find someone who has a Ferrari
a Ferrari, and borrow it.

533
00:29:55,220 --> 00:29:57,050
I know someone who has one.

534
00:29:57,100 --> 00:29:59,970
So do I, James. They've covered
us on that one, I'm afraid.

535
00:30:00,020 --> 00:30:02,370
Ferrari has actually said, to us,

536
00:30:02,420 --> 00:30:03,890
that if any Ferrari owner

537
00:30:03,940 --> 00:30:06,170
lends us a Ferrari a Ferrari,

538
00:30:06,220 --> 00:30:09,370
they will make sure that
person can never ever buy

539
00:30:09,420 --> 00:30:11,690
a limited edition Ferrari ever again.

540
00:30:11,740 --> 00:30:13,850
~ AUDIENCE MURMURING
~ I kid you not!

541
00:30:13,900 --> 00:30:15,170
~ Ridiculous...!
~ I kid you not.

542
00:30:15,220 --> 00:30:16,890
I've never heard anything like this.

543
00:30:16,940 --> 00:30:20,410
Pony club mothers have got NOTHING
on the people who make these cars!

544
00:30:20,460 --> 00:30:22,330
~ AUDIENCE LAUGHS
~ Nothing!

545
00:30:22,380 --> 00:30:25,370
It doesn't make any sense! If I built
any of these cars - any of them -

546
00:30:25,420 --> 00:30:26,810
the first thing I'd want to do

547
00:30:26,860 --> 00:30:29,090
is see how fast they were
compared to the others.

548
00:30:29,140 --> 00:30:30,570
That's what they're for!

549
00:30:30,620 --> 00:30:34,570
Honestly, if I were a teacher and I
had McLaren and Ferrari in my class,

550
00:30:34,620 --> 00:30:36,490
I would box their ears!

551
00:30:36,540 --> 00:30:39,570
I'd say, "Go and see the headmaster
and come back when you've grown up."

552
00:30:39,620 --> 00:30:41,010
~ Look.
~ What?

553
00:30:41,060 --> 00:30:43,490
They are here, the track's
there... Let's just do it!

554
00:30:43,540 --> 00:30:45,770
Yes, James. They're here
and they're locked

555
00:30:45,820 --> 00:30:47,970
and those two security
guards have been provided,

556
00:30:48,020 --> 00:30:50,890
to make sure we don't just take them
out on the track after the show.

557
00:30:50,940 --> 00:30:52,650
~ You're kidding?
~ I am not kidding.

558
00:30:52,700 --> 00:30:55,050
So, this is it? It ends here,
it's not gonna happen?

559
00:30:55,100 --> 00:30:56,570
No, no, no, no. We're not giving up.

560
00:30:56,620 --> 00:30:58,970
We've actually heard this week
of a man in the Middle East

561
00:30:59,020 --> 00:31:00,610
who owns one of each of these cars,

562
00:31:00,660 --> 00:31:03,570
and he may be willing
to lend them to us.

563
00:31:03,620 --> 00:31:05,210
Well, there you go. Give him a call.

564
00:31:05,260 --> 00:31:06,730
He's called Bin Laden.

565
00:31:06,780 --> 00:31:08,210
LAUGHTER

566
00:31:08,260 --> 00:31:09,770
I'm not kidding, he is.

567
00:31:09,820 --> 00:31:11,730
What, as in... Bin Laden?

568
00:31:11,780 --> 00:31:14,730
No, he's dead. It was definitely
on the news. I saw that.

569
00:31:14,780 --> 00:31:16,410
He's a cousin of that one.

570
00:31:16,460 --> 00:31:18,650
Well, you can't judge
a man by his cousin.

571
00:31:18,700 --> 00:31:20,890
You're absolutely right,
Hammond. You can't.

572
00:31:20,940 --> 00:31:23,410
~ But things go wrong on
Top Gear, yes? All the time.
~ Yeah.

573
00:31:23,460 --> 00:31:25,290
Do you want to make the call -

574
00:31:25,340 --> 00:31:29,050
"Hello, Mr Bin Laden. I've just crashed
your Porsche into your Ferrari"?

575
00:31:29,100 --> 00:31:31,170
I don't want to make that
call, you're right. No.

576
00:31:31,220 --> 00:31:34,730
So here we are, we haven't done it,
but we're not going to give up.

577
00:31:34,780 --> 00:31:36,210
OK, in fact, what we're hoping -

578
00:31:36,260 --> 00:31:37,970
and I hope you all
hope the same thing -

579
00:31:38,020 --> 00:31:39,610
is that, on Monday morning,

580
00:31:39,660 --> 00:31:42,930
we get a call from Ferrari
and from McLaren saying -

581
00:31:42,980 --> 00:31:45,690
"You know what, let's do this thing."
Do you want to hear that?

582
00:31:45,740 --> 00:31:48,690
~ AUDIENCE: Yes!
~ "Let's just do this thing."
~ Come on!

583
00:31:48,740 --> 00:31:50,540
APPLAUSE

584
00:31:54,820 --> 00:31:56,690
Anyway, it is now time...

585
00:31:56,740 --> 00:31:58,370
It's now time to move on

586
00:31:58,420 --> 00:32:01,530
and put a Star in a
Reasonably Priced Car.

587
00:32:01,580 --> 00:32:04,450
In fact, all week, we've
had people ringing me up

588
00:32:04,500 --> 00:32:07,890
saying, "How on earth are you going
to top Will Smith, from last week -

589
00:32:07,940 --> 00:32:10,250
"star of I Am Legend
and Hancock and so on?"

590
00:32:10,300 --> 00:32:13,770
Well, that is easy, because
tonight, we have, as my guest,

591
00:32:13,820 --> 00:32:18,330
the runner-up in the 2009
X Factor competition.

592
00:32:18,380 --> 00:32:20,820
Ladies and gentlemen, Olly Murs!

593
00:32:22,900 --> 00:32:24,370
~ What's happening?
~ Good evening.

594
00:32:24,420 --> 00:32:26,450
~ Jeremy.
~ How are you?
~ Good to see you, how are you?

595
00:32:26,500 --> 00:32:29,050
~ Very well. How's things?
~ Hello! Good, thanks.

596
00:32:29,100 --> 00:32:32,530
~ He's here!
~ Ah.
~ Have a seat.

597
00:32:32,580 --> 00:32:34,520
It's a pleasure. Wow.

598
00:32:35,620 --> 00:32:37,730
Now, I know that was a slightly
mean introduction,

599
00:32:37,780 --> 00:32:41,010
but actually, being a
runner-up in X Factor

600
00:32:41,060 --> 00:32:42,810
is better than winning it.

601
00:32:42,860 --> 00:32:44,810
Oh, I... yeah, I suppose it is.

602
00:32:44,860 --> 00:32:48,210
But, um, obviously I wanted to win
the show, I'm Mr Competitive - so.

603
00:32:48,260 --> 00:32:49,610
I know, but if you win X Factor,

604
00:32:49,660 --> 00:32:51,570
what, you end up back
in Homebase in a week.

605
00:32:51,620 --> 00:32:54,250
~ OLLY LAUGHS
~ Or on a cruise liner.

606
00:32:54,300 --> 00:32:57,170
Yeah, but I think it's lucky, no matter
where you finish on the show -

607
00:32:57,220 --> 00:32:58,730
you don't know where you'll finish.

608
00:32:58,780 --> 00:33:01,170
I thought after about a year
or two I'd probably be,

609
00:33:01,220 --> 00:33:03,050
you know, in a call
centre again, so...

610
00:33:03,100 --> 00:33:05,650
Cos it is - I'm just thinking,
One Direction came second.

611
00:33:05,700 --> 00:33:07,850
~ Yeah... no...
~ JLS came second.

612
00:33:07,900 --> 00:33:10,930
Oh, no, One Direction finished
third, JLS finished second.

613
00:33:10,980 --> 00:33:13,770
I'd be standing there, at the end,
judging on the facts and figures,

614
00:33:13,820 --> 00:33:16,970
going, "Please don't let me
win, please don't let me win."

615
00:33:17,020 --> 00:33:18,930
Cos then I'll be successful,
like you, cos...

616
00:33:18,980 --> 00:33:19,970
Oh, cheers, thank you.

617
00:33:20,020 --> 00:33:22,290
How successful - how many
albums have you sold now?

618
00:33:22,340 --> 00:33:23,930
~ Um...
~ 10 million?

619
00:33:23,980 --> 00:33:26,090
No, it's 10 million
in total, but, um...

620
00:33:26,140 --> 00:33:27,930
~ That's a lot.
~ For singles and everything.

621
00:33:27,980 --> 00:33:30,130
I think the albums, about
three million, I think?

622
00:33:30,180 --> 00:33:32,810
~ That's a lot of albums these days.
~ Well, I'm delighted, yeah.

623
00:33:32,860 --> 00:33:35,210
I mean, it's not really
an album market so, um...

624
00:33:35,260 --> 00:33:38,650
No, I'm delighted that everyone's
been buying my album, so thank you.

625
00:33:38,700 --> 00:33:41,490
And what did you do then before
singing to Simon Cowell?

626
00:33:41,540 --> 00:33:44,250
I was just working in a call centre.
I was giving people advice

627
00:33:44,300 --> 00:33:46,490
on how to save money
on their energy bills.

628
00:33:46,540 --> 00:33:47,850
So you were living in Bombay?

629
00:33:47,900 --> 00:33:50,970
LAUGHTER

630
00:33:51,020 --> 00:33:53,570
No - no, no this was
just in Witham in Essex.

631
00:33:53,620 --> 00:33:55,530
~ You are an Essex boy?
~ Essex boy, yeah.

632
00:33:55,580 --> 00:33:58,370
~ Yeah.
~ Through and through, yeah.
~ And not just an Essex boy,

633
00:33:58,420 --> 00:34:01,090
but we are talking about a
major petrolhead, are we not?

634
00:34:01,140 --> 00:34:02,570
100%, yeah - love my cars.

635
00:34:02,620 --> 00:34:06,610
I'd say that before I was famous
and got into this, you know,

636
00:34:06,660 --> 00:34:08,450
I didn't have the most glamorous car.

637
00:34:08,500 --> 00:34:10,170
What was your first car?

638
00:34:10,220 --> 00:34:13,010
My first car was a Fiat Ciquento.

639
00:34:13,060 --> 00:34:14,930
LAUGHTER

640
00:34:14,980 --> 00:34:16,690
~ I think it's Cinquecento.
~ Cinquecento.

641
00:34:16,740 --> 00:34:19,010
Which of course was made
famous by The Inbetweeners.

642
00:34:19,060 --> 00:34:20,410
Exactly - there it is.

643
00:34:20,460 --> 00:34:22,530
I've still got that, that's
still at my house.

644
00:34:22,580 --> 00:34:24,930
~ Is that actually yours?
~ It's still mine, yeah.
~ Oh, wow.

645
00:34:24,980 --> 00:34:27,410
Do you know what, though?
I spent more money...

646
00:34:27,460 --> 00:34:31,770
That car cost me 895 quid
and I spent, I think,

647
00:34:31,820 --> 00:34:35,060
950 quid on the sound system for it.

648
00:34:36,620 --> 00:34:38,330
So I could bowl round Essex -

649
00:34:38,380 --> 00:34:41,410
"Hey, what's happening?
All right, boys?"

650
00:34:41,460 --> 00:34:43,930
I'm presuming as well if you'd
won X Factor and you got that,

651
00:34:43,980 --> 00:34:46,570
there would've been a few
trouser-related incidents in that.

652
00:34:46,620 --> 00:34:48,330
Oh, God, yeah. Well, the one...

653
00:34:48,380 --> 00:34:49,900
Oh, God.

654
00:34:50,980 --> 00:34:53,170
My fans will tell you I'm
always ripping my trousers.

655
00:34:53,220 --> 00:34:55,050
I... I was at work one day -

656
00:34:55,100 --> 00:34:57,050
I was actually working
in recruitment then.

657
00:34:57,100 --> 00:34:58,850
And, um... I was just
lifting some boxes,

658
00:34:58,900 --> 00:35:01,250
about 10 o'clock in the day,
I moved down to lift the boxes

659
00:35:01,300 --> 00:35:03,290
and I ripped all the backend
of me trousers out.

660
00:35:03,340 --> 00:35:05,250
And I want to go home.
So I got in my car

661
00:35:05,300 --> 00:35:07,330
and I've drummed out of the car park,

662
00:35:07,380 --> 00:35:10,290
I've just turned round the corner,
got up towards the traffic lights.

663
00:35:10,340 --> 00:35:12,250
And I've just gone to
put my seat belt on.

664
00:35:12,300 --> 00:35:15,530
All of a sudden, the police car's just
come round the corner, seen me do that

665
00:35:15,580 --> 00:35:17,690
and pulled... and gone in behind me.

666
00:35:17,740 --> 00:35:19,650
~ And I'm like, "Oh,
~ BLEEP."

667
00:35:19,700 --> 00:35:23,530
So then I drove to Tesco's car
park, pulled over, then got out.

668
00:35:23,580 --> 00:35:26,210
And obviously I'm stood there,
in the middle of Tesco car park

669
00:35:26,260 --> 00:35:28,730
at lunchtime, with all
me bits hanging out.

670
00:35:28,780 --> 00:35:31,530
Oh, it was so embarrassing!
They gave me...

671
00:35:31,580 --> 00:35:33,370
I think they gave me
a £60 fine or something.

672
00:35:33,420 --> 00:35:35,530
Oh, you got a £60 fine
for having your...?

673
00:35:35,580 --> 00:35:39,330
LAUGHING: No, no - they probably
could have got me done for that!

674
00:35:39,380 --> 00:35:40,970
~ Oh, the seat belt.
~ For the seat belt.

675
00:35:41,020 --> 00:35:43,650
Well, who here would
like to see Olly's lap?

676
00:35:43,700 --> 00:35:44,850
CROWD: Yeah!

677
00:35:44,900 --> 00:35:46,890
Play the tape.

678
00:35:46,940 --> 00:35:48,980
CHEERING, MUSIC PLAYS

679
00:35:52,300 --> 00:35:54,370
Oh, I was...

680
00:35:54,420 --> 00:35:56,330
OLLY LAUGHS

681
00:35:56,380 --> 00:35:57,930
Oh...

682
00:35:57,980 --> 00:35:59,980
~ APPLAUSE
~ Sorry, mate.

683
00:36:00,900 --> 00:36:04,050
That was a gig, a lap on a lap.

684
00:36:04,100 --> 00:36:06,570
I didn't have time to
prepare myself then -

685
00:36:06,620 --> 00:36:09,010
I actually thought that was the
lap, so I was like, "Phew!"

686
00:36:09,060 --> 00:36:12,850
No, that...well, it was your lap,
but not the lap we're talking about.

687
00:36:12,900 --> 00:36:17,690
~ Presumably, now that the
Fiat is parked up somewhere...
~ Yeah.

688
00:36:17,740 --> 00:36:19,930
.. you've gone on,
as a car enthusiast,

689
00:36:19,980 --> 00:36:23,170
to buy something a little bit
more, I don't know, starry.

690
00:36:23,220 --> 00:36:25,810
No - well, yeah, no,
I went for a few BMWs

691
00:36:25,860 --> 00:36:27,170
and then I decided, I was like,

692
00:36:27,220 --> 00:36:28,810
"You know what? I'm going to go big."

693
00:36:28,860 --> 00:36:32,170
So I went and got myself
a Bentley Continental GT.

694
00:36:32,220 --> 00:36:35,330
Oh - now, that's an interesting car,
actually. Which one have you got?

695
00:36:35,380 --> 00:36:37,970
It's just a Continental GT V8.

696
00:36:38,020 --> 00:36:39,330
That's correct.

697
00:36:39,380 --> 00:36:43,090
~ Yes. OK.
~ Because there's so many mines
you can tread on on your way.

698
00:36:43,140 --> 00:36:44,730
~ It's not a convertible, is it?
~ No.
~ No.

699
00:36:44,780 --> 00:36:47,170
You see, I think the convertible
makes you look stupid.

700
00:36:47,220 --> 00:36:49,810
Yeah, cos whenever you
see a convertible Bentley,

701
00:36:49,860 --> 00:36:51,890
people've always got,
like, the bright blue,

702
00:36:51,940 --> 00:36:53,890
or it's in bright red
or it's white or...

703
00:36:53,940 --> 00:36:56,730
~ And they've got an orange face.
~ Yeah.
~ And you're in Cheshire.

704
00:36:56,780 --> 00:36:58,530
~ Or Essex.
~ Or Essex.

705
00:36:58,580 --> 00:36:59,730
LAUGHTER

706
00:36:59,780 --> 00:37:03,050
Anyway - now you came down here,
cos interestingly, we have had

707
00:37:03,100 --> 00:37:05,170
a slight problem with The Stig today.

708
00:37:05,220 --> 00:37:06,970
I mean, this is not a word of a lie.

709
00:37:07,020 --> 00:37:09,530
We had Will Smith here last
week, as you probably know.

710
00:37:09,580 --> 00:37:11,210
The Stig had never heard of him.

711
00:37:11,260 --> 00:37:14,010
~ Shut up!
~ Kiefer Sutherland, a couple of weeks ago -

712
00:37:14,060 --> 00:37:15,690
never heard of him.

713
00:37:15,740 --> 00:37:18,050
There was Ed Sheeran,
week one - no idea.

714
00:37:18,100 --> 00:37:19,810
~ He doesn't know who anyone is.
~ Wowsers.

715
00:37:19,860 --> 00:37:22,490
He came here this
morning - Olly Murs,

716
00:37:22,540 --> 00:37:24,370
he's completely in love with you.

717
00:37:24,420 --> 00:37:25,690
Nah!

718
00:37:25,740 --> 00:37:27,210
LAUGHTER

719
00:37:27,260 --> 00:37:30,010
The Stig, you are his - apart
from The Carpenters, obviously -

720
00:37:30,060 --> 00:37:32,330
his absolute favourite artist.

721
00:37:32,380 --> 00:37:33,850
You know what, can I just say this?

722
00:37:33,900 --> 00:37:36,090
I don't know if people want
to know this information,

723
00:37:36,140 --> 00:37:38,130
but I'm delighted with it - I went...

724
00:37:38,180 --> 00:37:40,770
I walked into the toilet
to have... you know.

725
00:37:40,820 --> 00:37:42,690
He was in there.

726
00:37:42,740 --> 00:37:45,680
~ Have you seen his penis?
~ Well, no, well...

727
00:37:48,700 --> 00:37:51,900
He was wearing his helmet
still, so it wasn't...

728
00:37:53,500 --> 00:37:54,930
He wasn't... he wasn't...

729
00:37:54,980 --> 00:37:57,850
I thought he was going to be holding
his helmet, but I suppose...

730
00:37:57,900 --> 00:38:00,740
LAUGHTER

731
00:38:03,180 --> 00:38:05,090
This is all big news!

732
00:38:05,140 --> 00:38:06,250
But wait, wait...

733
00:38:06,300 --> 00:38:09,450
Well, my best ever celebrity
story was, um...

734
00:38:09,500 --> 00:38:10,770
You can't top that!

735
00:38:10,820 --> 00:38:14,020
It was another toilet incident with
Gary Barlow which... which was...

736
00:38:15,820 --> 00:38:19,120
~ IMITATES GARY BARLOW:
~ Absolutely fantastic, yeah.

737
00:38:19,340 --> 00:38:22,330
But now I've gone to the... I've
been in the toilet with the Stig,

738
00:38:22,380 --> 00:38:23,450
it's pretty amazing.

739
00:38:23,500 --> 00:38:24,650
~ Anyway...
~ Yes.

740
00:38:24,700 --> 00:38:29,130
It was... presumably, you went out
in the Vauxhall Astra Tech Line.

741
00:38:29,180 --> 00:38:30,770
~ Yes.
~ Many laps, many practices?

742
00:38:30,820 --> 00:38:33,090
Loved it, did a few, quite
a few practices, really.

743
00:38:33,140 --> 00:38:35,690
I was giving it some, like,
"Come on!" I could feel it.

744
00:38:35,740 --> 00:38:38,050
You know when you get to the
end, you're like, "Come on!"

745
00:38:38,100 --> 00:38:41,050
Would you like to see the
real, actual lap in a car?

746
00:38:41,100 --> 00:38:43,690
~ CROWD: Yeah!
~ Here we go, let's have a look.

747
00:38:43,740 --> 00:38:46,250
ENGINE REVS, TYRES SCREECH

748
00:38:46,300 --> 00:38:48,010
We're away.

749
00:38:48,060 --> 00:38:49,490
Come on, baby.

750
00:38:49,540 --> 00:38:51,210
Purr with me!

751
00:38:51,260 --> 00:38:54,060
You're looking like
Val Kilmer in there.

752
00:38:55,060 --> 00:38:57,660
Oh, yeah, that's aggressive turning.

753
00:38:59,540 --> 00:39:03,450
Same line that Ricciardo was
using the other day, very good.

754
00:39:03,500 --> 00:39:08,420
♪ Don't cry for me, Argentina... ♪

755
00:39:09,660 --> 00:39:11,600
Don't sing that here.

756
00:39:13,540 --> 00:39:15,130
There we are, nicely done through...

757
00:39:15,180 --> 00:39:18,850
Sorry for my language, Mum, I
apologise, didn't mean to swear.

758
00:39:18,900 --> 00:39:21,010
You haven't sworn.

759
00:39:21,060 --> 00:39:22,690
~ Right, you've gotta
~ BLEEP
~ do this!

760
00:39:22,740 --> 00:39:26,020
No, you have sworn now.
That was swearing there.

761
00:39:27,780 --> 00:39:32,650
OK, that's about as perfect
as it comes, that is.

762
00:39:32,700 --> 00:39:34,010
As is that.

763
00:39:34,060 --> 00:39:36,170
No real understeer,
that's good to see.

764
00:39:36,220 --> 00:39:37,420
70...

765
00:39:39,100 --> 00:39:40,300
80...

766
00:39:42,500 --> 00:39:45,010
Yep, flat through there.

767
00:39:45,060 --> 00:39:47,810
~ Yeah, I felt... I felt
good going through there.
~ Yeah.

768
00:39:47,860 --> 00:39:51,010
I got into fourth gear just
as I got to the tyres.

769
00:39:51,060 --> 00:39:52,610
~ That's what you...
~ This was the bend.

770
00:39:52,660 --> 00:39:54,530
This is the - oh, look
at it squirming there,

771
00:39:54,580 --> 00:39:56,410
that is nicely held.

772
00:39:56,460 --> 00:39:59,770
It's a good chassis, that, but
you're getting the best out of it.

773
00:39:59,820 --> 00:40:01,170
and that is bob-on as well.

774
00:40:01,220 --> 00:40:02,810
There we are, across the line!

775
00:40:02,860 --> 00:40:04,460
Ah!

776
00:40:05,460 --> 00:40:07,130
So there we go.

777
00:40:10,980 --> 00:40:14,330
Where do you think you've
come, on the board?

778
00:40:14,380 --> 00:40:18,450
My aim was 1.46 - I just wanted to...

779
00:40:18,500 --> 00:40:20,050
You wanted to beat Hugh Jackman.

780
00:40:20,100 --> 00:40:24,170
~ 1.46 is an ambitious...
~ I know.
~ Very ambitious.

781
00:40:24,220 --> 00:40:26,530
Oh, God, put me out of my misery.

782
00:40:26,580 --> 00:40:29,490
As long as I've beaten Jack, that's
all I care about, come on.

783
00:40:29,540 --> 00:40:31,810
~ Everybody could beat Jack.
~ I can't look - tell me when.

784
00:40:31,860 --> 00:40:34,050
Stevie Wonder next week
- he's going to beat Jack.

785
00:40:34,100 --> 00:40:35,620
LAUGHTER

786
00:40:37,220 --> 00:40:38,960
You did a one...

787
00:40:40,740 --> 00:40:42,080
.. 40...

788
00:40:43,300 --> 00:40:45,900
You want me to say "six", don't you?

789
00:40:45,980 --> 00:40:47,410
I'm going to say four.

790
00:40:47,460 --> 00:40:48,970
AUDIENCE GASPS

791
00:40:49,020 --> 00:40:50,160
No!

792
00:40:52,620 --> 00:40:55,850
So actually, you're up there
with only Aaron Paul,

793
00:40:55,900 --> 00:40:58,970
~ as in Breaking Bad, on 1.44.7.
~ Shut up.

794
00:40:59,020 --> 00:41:01,090
~ LAUGHTER
~ He's on a seven.

795
00:41:01,140 --> 00:41:05,180
So if it's lower than seven,
you're the fastest ever.

796
00:41:08,060 --> 00:41:09,090
It's six.

797
00:41:09,140 --> 00:41:11,730
YES! Come on!

798
00:41:11,780 --> 00:41:13,530
You did it!

799
00:41:13,580 --> 00:41:16,650
Get in! Oh, my God!

800
00:41:16,700 --> 00:41:19,170
~ That's the fastest we've ever had.
~ Whoo!

801
00:41:19,220 --> 00:41:22,330
The fastest man in all of the world!

802
00:41:22,380 --> 00:41:23,970
Olly Murs!

803
00:41:24,020 --> 00:41:27,330
I didn't... I didn't
finish runner-up!

804
00:41:27,380 --> 00:41:29,530
~ That is the fastest we've ever had.
~ Oh, my God.

805
00:41:29,580 --> 00:41:31,410
Ladies and gentlemen,

806
00:41:31,460 --> 00:41:36,650
Olly Murs - the fastest
man ever round our track!

807
00:41:36,700 --> 00:41:38,570
Oh, thanks, Jeremy.

808
00:41:41,900 --> 00:41:46,210
Now, there are many truly
great car companies,

809
00:41:46,260 --> 00:41:48,570
all with rich,
magnificent histories -

810
00:41:48,620 --> 00:41:52,650
there's Ferrari, Jaguar,
Lancia, Maserati

811
00:41:52,700 --> 00:41:54,730
and so on and so on.

812
00:41:54,780 --> 00:41:57,130
Yes, indeed, but tonight, James and I

813
00:41:57,180 --> 00:42:00,410
are going to look at the history
of the most brilliant,

814
00:42:00,460 --> 00:42:04,010
most inventive car
company of them all -

815
00:42:04,060 --> 00:42:05,400
Peugeot.

816
00:42:13,660 --> 00:42:16,170
For thousands of years,
there was only one way

817
00:42:16,220 --> 00:42:18,930
of crossing this spartan landscape

818
00:42:18,980 --> 00:42:22,740
in the vast, dusty
heat of North Africa.

819
00:42:24,940 --> 00:42:26,480
This was it.

820
00:42:27,900 --> 00:42:30,890
It was used by the Greeks,
the Romans, the Berbers,

821
00:42:30,940 --> 00:42:34,170
the Phoenicians, the Vandals,
the Arabs, the Carthaginians,

822
00:42:34,220 --> 00:42:38,050
the Ottomans, the French,
the Tuareg, the Italians

823
00:42:38,100 --> 00:42:39,840
and the British.

824
00:42:41,940 --> 00:42:44,450
But then, in 1968,

825
00:42:44,500 --> 00:42:47,770
the camel's 4,000-year
monopoly was ended...

826
00:42:47,820 --> 00:42:49,650
CAMEL GRUNTS

827
00:42:49,700 --> 00:42:52,460
.. by the Peugeot 504.

828
00:42:59,620 --> 00:43:02,650
Many people imagine it
was Land Rover or Jeep

829
00:43:02,700 --> 00:43:04,810
that brought internal combustion

830
00:43:04,860 --> 00:43:07,890
to the world's most
impregnable backwaters,

831
00:43:07,940 --> 00:43:10,180
but really, it was this.

832
00:43:11,620 --> 00:43:14,420
The King of Africa,
as they called it.

833
00:43:16,820 --> 00:43:20,730
Yes, it had good ground clearance
and parts were cheap,

834
00:43:20,780 --> 00:43:24,450
but what really endeared this
mighty Peugeot to Africa

835
00:43:24,500 --> 00:43:26,770
was its rugged dependability.

836
00:43:28,060 --> 00:43:30,610
You regularly hear tales
around these parts

837
00:43:30,660 --> 00:43:34,570
of 504s that have done
a million kilometres

838
00:43:34,620 --> 00:43:38,410
and which have been to places
that no Land Rover could reach

839
00:43:38,460 --> 00:43:40,600
without falling to pieces.

840
00:43:41,900 --> 00:43:46,290
40 years ago, then, Peugeot was
a byword for sturdy toughness

841
00:43:46,340 --> 00:43:48,100
and common sense.

842
00:43:49,700 --> 00:43:53,170
But then, in 1983, Peugeot decided

843
00:43:53,220 --> 00:43:58,570
it didn't want to make strong,
sturdy, beige cars any more.

844
00:43:58,620 --> 00:44:01,570
It wanted to throw
off its sensi-panties

845
00:44:01,620 --> 00:44:04,730
and be sporty and frivolous and fun.

846
00:44:04,780 --> 00:44:07,320
So it completely changed direction.

847
00:44:10,820 --> 00:44:13,530
It employed a brilliant
"chef de suspension"

848
00:44:13,580 --> 00:44:15,650
and came up with cars like this -

849
00:44:15,700 --> 00:44:21,180
the 505 GTi, a sports
saloon to rival any BMW.

850
00:44:24,140 --> 00:44:27,250
And then there was the 405 Mi16,

851
00:44:27,300 --> 00:44:29,250
which sounded like
it was a machine gun,

852
00:44:29,300 --> 00:44:31,240
and it went like one.

853
00:44:34,180 --> 00:44:36,980
But best of all, Peugeot
gave us this...

854
00:44:37,860 --> 00:44:40,570
The phenomenal 205 GTi,

855
00:44:40,620 --> 00:44:42,860
a car that was fast...

856
00:44:44,020 --> 00:44:46,620
.. even with James May at the wheel.

857
00:44:47,340 --> 00:44:49,650
Was this the best hot
hatchback of the '80s?

858
00:44:49,700 --> 00:44:52,900
Well, it was definitely
a contender, wasn't it?

859
00:44:53,980 --> 00:44:55,130
JAMES LAUGHS

860
00:44:55,180 --> 00:44:56,920
It's still good.

861
00:44:58,460 --> 00:45:01,330
It's hard to believe that this
was made by the same people

862
00:45:01,380 --> 00:45:02,610
who did the 504 -

863
00:45:02,660 --> 00:45:05,060
made by the same species, even.

864
00:45:07,340 --> 00:45:08,930
But this wasn't the first time

865
00:45:08,980 --> 00:45:11,690
that Peugeot had completely
changed its mind

866
00:45:11,740 --> 00:45:13,940
about what it wanted to be.

867
00:45:15,300 --> 00:45:18,330
The company began
in 1810 making steel

868
00:45:18,380 --> 00:45:21,250
and it was very, very good at it.

869
00:45:21,300 --> 00:45:23,090
So good that, in 1840,

870
00:45:23,140 --> 00:45:26,050
it decided to start making
wooden pepper grinders.

871
00:45:26,100 --> 00:45:29,650
Now, these... they were the best
pepper grinders in the world.

872
00:45:29,700 --> 00:45:33,810
So, naturally, in 1852,
Peugeot started to make...

873
00:45:33,860 --> 00:45:35,090
.. corsets.

874
00:45:35,140 --> 00:45:36,970
And then, 30 years later,

875
00:45:37,020 --> 00:45:40,290
it thought, "No - what
we actually want to make

876
00:45:40,340 --> 00:45:41,930
"are bicycles."

877
00:45:41,980 --> 00:45:45,010
And this is what they came up with.

878
00:45:45,060 --> 00:45:46,730
~ And it is brilliant.
~ BELL TINKLES

879
00:45:46,780 --> 00:45:48,930
It is a superb bicycle.

880
00:45:48,980 --> 00:45:51,690
But naturally, having
made a superb bicycle,

881
00:45:51,740 --> 00:45:54,650
the next logical step was
to become a manufacturer

882
00:45:54,700 --> 00:45:56,330
of munitions.

883
00:45:56,380 --> 00:46:00,210
The shells they made were
excellent. World-class.

884
00:46:00,260 --> 00:46:04,130
But then the Second World War
broke out, the Germans arrived,

885
00:46:04,180 --> 00:46:07,970
and Mr Peugeot decided he didn't
want to make munitions any more.

886
00:46:08,020 --> 00:46:10,330
In fact, he didn't
want to make anything.

887
00:46:10,380 --> 00:46:13,770
So one night, he laced his
factory with explosives

888
00:46:13,820 --> 00:46:18,170
and blew the entire
place to smithereens.

889
00:46:18,220 --> 00:46:21,210
After such a varied history,
it's hardly surprising

890
00:46:21,260 --> 00:46:23,410
that Peugeot should make
this sudden swerve

891
00:46:23,460 --> 00:46:27,650
from building dependable workhorses
to exciting, sporty cars

892
00:46:27,700 --> 00:46:29,450
like the 205 GTi.

893
00:46:29,500 --> 00:46:32,250
And nor is it surprising, given
the quality of their steel

894
00:46:32,300 --> 00:46:34,010
and their grinders and their corsets

895
00:46:34,060 --> 00:46:35,890
and their bicycles
and their munitions,

896
00:46:35,940 --> 00:46:39,180
that they were
unbelievably good at it.

897
00:46:43,540 --> 00:46:48,170
A turbo-charged four-wheel drive
version of the 205 called the T16

898
00:46:48,220 --> 00:46:51,340
won 16 rounds of the
Rally Championship...

899
00:46:54,700 --> 00:46:59,010
.. beating the might
of Ford, Audi and Lancia

900
00:46:59,060 --> 00:47:01,940
with two back-to-back world titles.

901
00:47:04,580 --> 00:47:05,730
And back in the showroom,

902
00:47:05,780 --> 00:47:08,290
the sporty cars kept on coming.

903
00:47:08,340 --> 00:47:10,380
Peugeot was on a roll.

904
00:47:12,060 --> 00:47:17,050
But then one day, in Paris,
there was a meeting.

905
00:47:17,100 --> 00:47:19,460
FRENCH ACCORDION MUSIC PLAYS

906
00:47:22,180 --> 00:47:23,940
~ Messieurs...
~ Mm?

907
00:47:25,060 --> 00:47:28,730
The time has come for us to
stop making this sporty car.

908
00:47:28,780 --> 00:47:31,820
~ Mon Dieu!
~ Sacre bleu!

909
00:47:33,300 --> 00:47:36,170
But what shall nous do instead?

910
00:47:36,220 --> 00:47:39,610
Er... coat hangers? Umbrellas?

911
00:47:39,660 --> 00:47:42,220
How is zees for a plan?

912
00:47:43,540 --> 00:47:45,810
We make terrible cars,

913
00:47:45,860 --> 00:47:48,850
in every way 'orrible.

914
00:47:48,900 --> 00:47:50,850
Maybe tres ugly!

915
00:47:50,900 --> 00:47:52,130
Oh, oui, oui, oui!

916
00:47:52,180 --> 00:47:54,930
And le engine tres 'orrible.

917
00:47:54,980 --> 00:47:58,930
Oh, nasty, unreliable, uncomfortable.

918
00:47:58,980 --> 00:48:02,210
Et l'interior fabrique
en... spit et Kleenex.

919
00:48:02,260 --> 00:48:05,490
~ Spit et Kleenex. Oui, oui, oui!
~ Oui, oui, oui!

920
00:48:05,540 --> 00:48:09,170
C'est une bonne idee,
n'est-ce pas? Oui?

921
00:48:09,220 --> 00:48:13,250
Ne regardez pas un cadeau
de cheval dans la bouche.

922
00:48:13,300 --> 00:48:17,370
Messieurs, salut la voiture horrible!

923
00:48:17,420 --> 00:48:20,050
ALL: Ohhhh!

924
00:48:20,100 --> 00:48:22,130
And get the chef de
suspension up here

925
00:48:22,180 --> 00:48:24,090
so we can fire him immediatement.

926
00:48:24,140 --> 00:48:25,370
Oh, yes.

927
00:48:25,420 --> 00:48:28,170
This breakfast meeting will
put Peugeot on the map

928
00:48:28,220 --> 00:48:31,260
for many years to come
- make no mistake.

929
00:48:33,100 --> 00:48:35,090
This is what resulted -

930
00:48:35,140 --> 00:48:38,050
cars like the hateful 1007,

931
00:48:38,100 --> 00:48:40,250
the absurd 407,

932
00:48:40,300 --> 00:48:41,650
the woeful 607,

933
00:48:41,700 --> 00:48:45,130
and the shockingly bad 3008 -

934
00:48:45,180 --> 00:48:51,290
cheaply made, sloppy handling,
lacklustre dung, the lot of it.

935
00:48:51,340 --> 00:48:53,090
MUSIC: Take My Breath Away by Berlin

936
00:48:53,140 --> 00:48:55,050
The adverts changed, too.

937
00:48:55,100 --> 00:48:59,330
Out went the burning cornfields
and the jumping 205s,

938
00:48:59,380 --> 00:49:01,820
and in came tosh like this...

939
00:49:03,300 --> 00:49:05,930
Buy a car, four wheels and some seats

940
00:49:05,980 --> 00:49:07,410
for just £99 a month

941
00:49:07,460 --> 00:49:10,610
with £1,000 cashback plus
another £2,000 cashback.

942
00:49:10,660 --> 00:49:13,250
Easy finance and a free - yes, free -

943
00:49:13,300 --> 00:49:15,440
locking petrol filler cap!

944
00:49:16,660 --> 00:49:19,010
APR 29.4%. Subject to
terms and conditions.

945
00:49:19,060 --> 00:49:21,050
You must be able to sign
your name to have a car.

946
00:49:21,100 --> 00:49:25,000
Your knees may be at risk if
you do not keep up repayments.

947
00:49:26,340 --> 00:49:28,770
The results were immediate.

948
00:49:28,820 --> 00:49:31,250
Sales went through the roof.

949
00:49:31,300 --> 00:49:35,250
Peugeot may have been good at making
sturdy cars and sporty cars,

950
00:49:35,300 --> 00:49:41,370
but it seemed they were absolutely
brilliant at making terrible cars.

951
00:49:41,420 --> 00:49:43,810
Yes. And to find out
just how brilliant,

952
00:49:43,860 --> 00:49:45,970
Jeremy and I are going
to do an experiment.

953
00:49:46,020 --> 00:49:49,930
He has bought this mildly
fire-damaged 307 CC.

954
00:49:49,980 --> 00:49:51,890
You can see where the
fire was just here.

955
00:49:51,940 --> 00:49:53,890
It's out now, so that's OK.

956
00:49:53,940 --> 00:49:55,050
Good. Yes.

957
00:49:55,100 --> 00:49:58,930
And I have bought this
utterly dreary 407.

958
00:49:58,980 --> 00:50:01,330
And now, we're going to test them

959
00:50:01,380 --> 00:50:04,980
as if we're not interested
in cars at all.

960
00:50:08,460 --> 00:50:11,090
In these horrible cars,
it didn't take us long

961
00:50:11,140 --> 00:50:14,810
to get the hang of being
modern Peugeot drivers.

962
00:50:14,860 --> 00:50:17,100
ENGINE REVS LOUDLY

963
00:50:21,020 --> 00:50:22,360
Maniac!

964
00:50:24,860 --> 00:50:27,300
And...turn...

965
00:50:31,260 --> 00:50:36,650
Why oh why do those idiots
on Top Gear criticise Peugeot?

966
00:50:36,700 --> 00:50:39,810
I mean, look, six-speed gear box.

967
00:50:39,860 --> 00:50:41,570
This is particularly brilliant -

968
00:50:41,620 --> 00:50:44,610
you've got your light switch
here, off, and then here,

969
00:50:44,660 --> 00:50:46,330
especially off.

970
00:50:50,820 --> 00:50:55,690
So two... two-and-a-half
revs, another gear...

971
00:50:55,740 --> 00:50:57,610
GEARS GRINDING

972
00:50:57,660 --> 00:50:59,730
Oh, no, you're supposed to press...

973
00:50:59,780 --> 00:51:02,250
GRINDING AND CLATTERING

974
00:51:02,300 --> 00:51:03,770
That's it.

975
00:51:07,100 --> 00:51:09,980
Soon, James had an accident.

976
00:51:16,340 --> 00:51:18,010
Damn and blast.

977
00:51:18,740 --> 00:51:20,140
Oh, dear.

978
00:51:20,980 --> 00:51:22,980
Oh, dear, dear, dear...

979
00:51:32,060 --> 00:51:35,130
~ You crashed again?
~ Yeah.

980
00:51:35,180 --> 00:51:37,290
Didn't you crash on this
corner this morning?

981
00:51:37,340 --> 00:51:39,690
Yeah. I haven't got
round it once yet.

982
00:51:39,740 --> 00:51:42,610
It is tricky. I don't know
why they put corners on...

983
00:51:42,660 --> 00:51:44,090
I mean, why would you?

984
00:51:44,140 --> 00:51:45,890
Well, I was going quite fast.

985
00:51:45,940 --> 00:51:47,010
I was in third.

986
00:51:47,060 --> 00:51:48,260
Oh!

987
00:51:49,420 --> 00:51:52,330
While James's car was being
towed out of the ditch,

988
00:51:52,380 --> 00:51:54,530
I took the opportunity to demonstrate

989
00:51:54,580 --> 00:51:57,820
yet another incredible standard
feature on my car.

990
00:51:58,900 --> 00:52:00,930
If you want to lower
the passenger window,

991
00:52:00,980 --> 00:52:04,380
you can do that from a switch
on the driver's door.

992
00:52:05,340 --> 00:52:09,410
But if you want to get it
back up again... you can't.

993
00:52:09,460 --> 00:52:13,690
So, you have to go round
to the other side, OK,

994
00:52:13,740 --> 00:52:16,330
and use the button here.

995
00:52:16,380 --> 00:52:23,170
But, if you do that, you're going
to trap your arm in this gap here.

996
00:52:23,220 --> 00:52:26,290
Now, Peugeot's thought of that, OK?
Obviously, you can't open this door.

997
00:52:26,340 --> 00:52:28,610
There's no door lock, that's
for security reasons.

998
00:52:28,660 --> 00:52:34,090
So you pop back round here
- and this is incredible -

999
00:52:34,140 --> 00:52:37,610
simply pull this switch, OK?

1000
00:52:37,660 --> 00:52:39,730
Windows ALL go down now.

1001
00:52:40,980 --> 00:52:43,500
The roof detaches, and now...

1002
00:52:44,900 --> 00:52:48,850
Now look - I can lift the window

1003
00:52:48,900 --> 00:52:52,570
without getting my arm trapped.

1004
00:52:52,620 --> 00:52:55,220
Can you see? Brilliant.

1005
00:52:58,860 --> 00:53:00,690
With James's car out of the ditch,

1006
00:53:00,740 --> 00:53:04,620
we relaxed by tuning
in to Radio Peugeot.

1007
00:53:06,140 --> 00:53:08,490
RADIO: Jeremy Vine, BBC Radio 2.

1008
00:53:08,540 --> 00:53:10,890
"Is Britain full?" is
how we started this.

1009
00:53:10,940 --> 00:53:13,490
Alison in Warfield in
Berkshire texts and says,

1010
00:53:13,540 --> 00:53:15,610
"I can't park at Waitrose.

1011
00:53:15,660 --> 00:53:17,770
"So, yes, we are too full."

1012
00:53:17,820 --> 00:53:19,420
Good caller.

1013
00:53:22,060 --> 00:53:23,290
THUD

1014
00:53:23,340 --> 00:53:26,250
That's very nice of him. He just
gave me a little push there

1015
00:53:26,300 --> 00:53:28,840
to let me know he was coming past.

1016
00:53:30,900 --> 00:53:32,570
Corner! Corner!

1017
00:53:33,780 --> 00:53:35,320
TYRES SQUEAL

1018
00:53:45,380 --> 00:53:47,450
I've done it. I'm round.

1019
00:53:49,940 --> 00:53:53,050
Despite the soothing tones
of Radio Peugeot...

1020
00:53:53,100 --> 00:53:56,090
RADIO: Do you think you may have
the worst-tasting water in Britain?

1021
00:53:56,140 --> 00:53:57,970
Do call us if so - 0500 288 291...

1022
00:53:58,020 --> 00:54:00,490
.. we found the journey
very stressful

1023
00:54:00,540 --> 00:54:03,140
thanks to badly placed road signs...

1024
00:54:06,060 --> 00:54:08,060
.. and busy junctions.

1025
00:54:09,300 --> 00:54:10,640
Maniac.

1026
00:54:11,460 --> 00:54:12,800
Maniac.

1027
00:54:13,500 --> 00:54:14,970
Maniac.

1028
00:54:15,020 --> 00:54:16,530
Yobbo.

1029
00:54:16,580 --> 00:54:17,810
Maniac.

1030
00:54:17,860 --> 00:54:20,860
Mani... oh, hold on, I think
there's a chance here.

1031
00:54:21,900 --> 00:54:23,490
ENGINE REVS, TYRES SQUEAL

1032
00:54:23,540 --> 00:54:26,010
Ohhh... damn it!

1033
00:54:26,060 --> 00:54:28,410
RADIO: You've got Johnny
Foreigner coming over here,

1034
00:54:28,460 --> 00:54:30,090
they don't pay a penny...

1035
00:54:30,140 --> 00:54:31,940
ENGINE REVS LOUDLY

1036
00:54:35,060 --> 00:54:38,060
Bloody council not mending
the bloody roads.

1037
00:54:42,780 --> 00:54:45,250
OVER RADIO: James, there's
a corner coming up, a corner.

1038
00:54:45,300 --> 00:54:48,380
There's a sign saying, "corner".
Do take care this time, OK?

1039
00:54:52,580 --> 00:54:55,730
To be honest, I didn't notice
James's latest accident

1040
00:54:55,780 --> 00:55:00,130
because I'd found yet another
feature in my amazing car.

1041
00:55:00,180 --> 00:55:04,650
If I push this button here that
increases the temperature,

1042
00:55:04,700 --> 00:55:08,050
and then hold it down
for a little while...

1043
00:55:08,100 --> 00:55:10,610
~ CRACKLING
~ There we go.

1044
00:55:10,660 --> 00:55:14,650
Lovely, lovely. Mm-mm, smoke!

1045
00:55:14,700 --> 00:55:17,370
Obviously, there's a fair bit of
choking you have to go through,

1046
00:55:17,420 --> 00:55:19,940
but, um... look at the result!

1047
00:55:21,460 --> 00:55:25,690
COUGHING: People like a...
a real fire in their homes.

1048
00:55:25,740 --> 00:55:27,330
I've got one in my car.

1049
00:55:27,380 --> 00:55:28,890
HE COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS

1050
00:55:28,940 --> 00:55:31,170
It's a good job this
car has a chimney.

1051
00:55:31,220 --> 00:55:34,220
Obviously, that's a very
good design feature.

1052
00:55:35,940 --> 00:55:37,770
When I met up with James again,

1053
00:55:37,820 --> 00:55:41,610
it was at the Peugeot driver's
worst nightmare -

1054
00:55:41,660 --> 00:55:43,980
a double mini-roundabout.

1055
00:55:46,860 --> 00:55:48,130
Now...

1056
00:55:55,140 --> 00:55:57,540
Dear God. Right, that's clear...

1057
00:56:04,700 --> 00:56:07,540
HORNS HONKING

1058
00:56:13,780 --> 00:56:15,380
I don't know.

1059
00:56:19,140 --> 00:56:20,500
It's...

1060
00:56:33,820 --> 00:56:35,160
Maniac!

1061
00:56:40,220 --> 00:56:44,100
Oh, God - no more double
mini-roundabouts ever, please.

1062
00:56:46,100 --> 00:56:48,170
After such a terrifying ordeal,

1063
00:56:48,220 --> 00:56:51,530
we needed hot sweet tea
to calm our nerves,

1064
00:56:51,580 --> 00:56:54,250
so we went to a nearby garden centre.

1065
00:56:55,380 --> 00:56:58,610
RADIO: Will Hull e-mails, "I suggest
we bring back workhouses.

1066
00:56:58,660 --> 00:57:00,810
"That would deter people
exploiting the state

1067
00:57:00,860 --> 00:57:04,010
~ "and having as many children as they want."
~ A space there, nearly.

1068
00:57:04,060 --> 00:57:05,460
Entrance?

1069
00:57:14,980 --> 00:57:17,320
I'll have to come in forwards.

1070
00:57:33,260 --> 00:57:36,020
A cup of tea. Ooh... perfect.

1071
00:57:48,980 --> 00:57:51,010
~ Have you seen this, James?
~ What?

1072
00:57:51,060 --> 00:57:55,250
~ Carrots stop you getting cancer.
~ Really?
~ Yeah.

1073
00:57:55,300 --> 00:57:57,090
But The Mail said it
was toma... tomatoes.

1074
00:57:57,140 --> 00:58:00,010
Or was it tomatoes give you cancer?

1075
00:58:00,060 --> 00:58:03,970
I thought Diana gave you cancer.
Or was it house prices?

1076
00:58:04,020 --> 00:58:06,450
No, immigrants do house pr...

1077
00:58:06,500 --> 00:58:08,370
Oh, I get confused.

1078
00:58:08,420 --> 00:58:12,060
'Afternoon tea over, we
got back on the road.'

1079
00:58:19,740 --> 00:58:21,080
Maniac!

1080
00:58:23,780 --> 00:58:26,010
After a busy day, we
were heading home,

1081
00:58:26,060 --> 00:58:28,450
and to get there,
we'd fitted our cars

1082
00:58:28,500 --> 00:58:32,210
with something called
"satellite navigation".

1083
00:58:32,260 --> 00:58:35,890
Incredible device. It was
a present from my children.

1084
00:58:35,940 --> 00:58:41,290
It knows where I am on the planet
and then it can get me to my house.

1085
00:58:41,340 --> 00:58:43,740
All I have to do is as I'm told.

1086
00:58:44,460 --> 00:58:48,940
So I go left here... yes...

1087
00:58:50,540 --> 00:58:54,380
Right, according to the
electric map, I go right.

1088
00:58:56,660 --> 00:58:58,260
This is, um...

1089
00:58:59,620 --> 00:59:01,890
.. overgrown - the council
should really do something

1090
00:59:01,940 --> 00:59:03,880
about this road here.

1091
00:59:05,100 --> 00:59:07,410
It's weird, isn't it? You
hear stories all the time

1092
00:59:07,460 --> 00:59:11,370
about idiots who, "Oh, I was following
the satellite navigation

1093
00:59:11,420 --> 00:59:13,690
"and I drove off a cliff
or into a canal",

1094
00:59:13,740 --> 00:59:16,080
and you think, "What a moron!"

1095
00:59:20,540 --> 00:59:24,100
Must be a shortcut. Bloody clever.

1096
00:59:28,860 --> 00:59:32,730
And here we are. Home sweet home!

1097
00:59:32,780 --> 00:59:35,060
Ah, joy!

1098
00:59:37,860 --> 00:59:40,370
So, there we are - Peugeot.

1099
00:59:40,420 --> 00:59:43,450
They were brilliant
at making strong cars.

1100
00:59:43,500 --> 00:59:45,730
They were brilliant
at making sporty cars,

1101
00:59:45,780 --> 00:59:47,210
and for the last decade,

1102
00:59:47,260 --> 00:59:51,010
they have been brilliant
at making terrible cars.

1103
00:59:51,060 --> 00:59:57,010
This really is THE perfect car
for the world's imperfect drivers.

1104
00:59:57,060 --> 00:59:59,890
RADIO: "The simple way to stop speeding
is to hand a jail sentence

1105
00:59:59,940 --> 01:00:02,130
"to anyone who's caught
breaking the speed limit,

1106
01:00:02,180 --> 01:00:04,170
"and that will sort the problem."

1107
01:00:04,220 --> 01:00:06,170
Jenny in Ramsgate, Kent...

1108
01:00:06,220 --> 01:00:08,220
CAR HONKS, ALARM BLEEPS

1109
01:00:09,340 --> 01:00:10,650
But here's the worry.

1110
01:00:10,700 --> 01:00:14,090
Soon, it will be time for Peugeot
to change its mind again

1111
01:00:14,140 --> 01:00:15,810
and think of something new.

1112
01:00:15,860 --> 01:00:17,730
And who knows what that'll be.

1113
01:00:17,780 --> 01:00:20,180
Knowing Peugeot, it could be...

1114
01:00:20,380 --> 01:00:22,380
.. a type of inert gas.

1115
01:00:23,140 --> 01:00:26,370
The Peugeot nine-piece
Rhythm and Blues band.

1116
01:00:26,420 --> 01:00:29,290
Only time will tell.

1117
01:00:29,340 --> 01:00:31,940
MUSIC: Take My Breath Away by Berlin

1118
01:00:41,100 --> 01:00:42,330
Really?

1119
01:00:42,380 --> 01:00:44,730
Worst thing ever on Top
Gear, the choking -

1120
01:00:44,780 --> 01:00:48,010
I've never, never ever
had anything worse

1121
01:00:48,060 --> 01:00:50,290
than being choked to
death in a car on fire.

1122
01:00:50,340 --> 01:00:52,330
~ Hang on.
~ What?
~ Hang on a minute.

1123
01:00:52,380 --> 01:00:56,490
Are you two saying that Peugeot
have spent ten years

1124
01:00:56,540 --> 01:00:58,970
deliberately making terrible cars?

1125
01:00:59,020 --> 01:01:03,250
~ Mm.
~ Well, yeah - you can't make cars
that consistently bad by accident.

1126
01:01:03,300 --> 01:01:05,290
No, think about it, Hammond,
think about it.

1127
01:01:05,340 --> 01:01:07,130
What is the point of making a car

1128
01:01:07,180 --> 01:01:09,330
with complicated brakes
and expensive suspension

1129
01:01:09,380 --> 01:01:11,170
if you're just going
to sell it to someone

1130
01:01:11,220 --> 01:01:13,570
who only wants Jeremy
Vine and easy finance?

1131
01:01:13,620 --> 01:01:15,930
Exactly - you make cars
as cheaply as possible

1132
01:01:15,980 --> 01:01:17,890
and then sell them to
people who won't notice.

1133
01:01:17,940 --> 01:01:20,890
I mean, think of it this way,
OK? Right now, even as we speak,

1134
01:01:20,940 --> 01:01:24,970
nine million people in Britain
are so uninterested in cars,

1135
01:01:25,020 --> 01:01:27,330
they're watching that Midwife
thing on the other side.

1136
01:01:27,380 --> 01:01:29,890
And you're saying they're
all Peugeot drivers?

1137
01:01:29,940 --> 01:01:33,730
Yes, I am, and they're all going
to be absolutely heartbroken

1138
01:01:33,780 --> 01:01:36,180
when Peugeot starts making cows.

1139
01:01:37,260 --> 01:01:39,010
And on that bombshell,
it's time to end.

1140
01:01:39,060 --> 01:01:42,020
Thank you so much for watching.
See you next week. Good night!