1
00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:13,960
'Tonight, I move my eyes...

2
00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:17,190
'.. Richard vandalises a road...'

3
00:00:17,240 --> 00:00:18,310
There you go.

4
00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:20,030
'.. and James says, "Cow." '

5
00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:21,280
Cow!

6
00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:29,390
Hello.

7
00:00:29,440 --> 00:00:34,430
Hello, good evening, and
welcome. Thank you so much.

8
00:00:34,480 --> 00:00:38,710
Now, this is a mobile telephone.

9
00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:39,910
It's fully functional

10
00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:41,590
and what I'm going to do...

11
00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:44,110
is throw it in that lavatory.

12
00:00:44,160 --> 00:00:46,710
I know that's the first time
you've ever seen a programme

13
00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:49,070
start that way, but bear with me,

14
00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:51,190
because if we now look...

15
00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:54,550
Yeah, it's only been in the
water for a few seconds,

16
00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:56,230
but it's ruined for ever.

17
00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:58,270
If you wanted to communicate
with somebody,

18
00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:01,320
you'd be better off using
a Brussels sprout.

19
00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:04,910
Of course, because if you expose
your phone to any form of moisture

20
00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:08,990
or heat or dust or
vibration, it will break.

21
00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:10,830
It's not just phones,
it's everything -

22
00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:12,790
printers, laptops, Wi-Fi routers.

23
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:16,430
My coffee machine breaks even
when you expose it to coffee.

24
00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:21,630
Anything with a circuit board is
as reliable as a Greek accountant.

25
00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:26,310
It is. Except, weirdly, except cars.

26
00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:29,710
Now, we were talking about this
in the office the other day,

27
00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:31,950
and there was a bit of an argument.

28
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:35,790
We were saying you can drive a
car across the Sahara, the Arctic,

29
00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:39,190
you can run it through hurricanes
and dust storms and it'll be fine.

30
00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:41,190
Hmm, but the producers are saying

31
00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:44,990
that because modern cars are
so complex and so electronical,

32
00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:47,750
they are bound to suffer
from reliability problems

33
00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:49,070
like everything else.

34
00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:51,350
Right, so to see who is correct,

35
00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:52,790
the producers said to us,

36
00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:56,190
"Go out and each choose your
favourite modern GT car,

37
00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:59,510
"and then report with
them to what's billed

38
00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:03,750
"as the most hirsute and manly
proving ground of them all -

39
00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:05,750
"Austria."

40
00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:07,740
No, James, Australia.

41
00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:10,710
Same thing.

42
00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:23,040
'This is the hirsute and manly
proving ground in question...

43
00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:30,190
'.. the vast, almost completely
uninhabited Northern Territory,

44
00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:33,480
'better known as the outback.

45
00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:46,110
'Richard had chosen to take on this
brutal and enormous wilderness

46
00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:50,310
'in a car that was designed for
the car park at Old Trafford -

47
00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:52,500
'a Bentley Continental GT.

48
00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:58,710
'James had gone for a car engineered
for the velvet smoothness

49
00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:01,920
'of the world's racetracks
- a Nissan GT-R.

50
00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:10,070
'And I was in the ultimate
Monaco-to-Munich mile-muncher -

51
00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,760
'the BMW M6 Gran Coupe.'

52
00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:23,030
I tell you what.

53
00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:25,590
~ What?
~ I think this is the first time

54
00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:27,150
in all of Top Gear's history,

55
00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:30,750
where all three of us like
all three of the cars.

56
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:33,750
Normally, I go, "Yours is rubbish,
and you've made the wrong decision,

57
00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:35,710
"and I'm the only one
who's done it properly."

58
00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:37,830
It's a good point, actually,
cos I do like your car

59
00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:40,510
and I do like your car, Hammond,
and I like my car, obviously.

60
00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:42,270
It's a GT-R. You can't
not like a GT-R.

61
00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:45,590
If you like driving above all else

62
00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:48,350
and to the exclusion of
all other considerations,

63
00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:50,740
you have to have one of these.

64
00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,430
If you have a Ferrari
or a Lamborghini,

65
00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:57,030
what you're saying is, "I'm not
that interested in driving."

66
00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:58,910
~ It's showing off.
~ It's showing off.

67
00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:01,550
Speaking of which, the
Bentley Continental...

68
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:03,740
Now, what happened there?

69
00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:07,910
We used to think it was a bit
dull, but now it's sort of good.

70
00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:10,430
~ But it was overnight.
~ It was.
~ We all must have woken up...

71
00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:13,190
I hate the Bentley Continental.
I hate the Bentley Continental.

72
00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:16,150
I hate the Bentley Continental. God,
I love the Bentley Continental.

73
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:19,510
I don't understand that. Cos they
haven't changed the styling much.

74
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:20,750
It's been around a while now.

75
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:22,830
But then you just woke
up one morning and went,

76
00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:24,070
"That looks really good."

77
00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:26,750
I'd actually have a yellow one
as well. It looks tremendous.

78
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,800
But while we're on the subject
of styling... a-hem, a-hem, a-hem!

79
00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:34,830
Oh, how we mocked when they said
they were going to do this.

80
00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:36,870
Right, so you are going
to do a four-door version

81
00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:39,110
of a two-door version of
a four-door saloon car?

82
00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:41,990
And then it came out and you just
thought, "That is so good looking."

83
00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:46,070
I love that back wheel. That dished
back wheel looks so fantastic.

84
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:47,590
Almost a double-bubble roof.

85
00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:49,710
I know it's carbon fibre,
which is a little bit...

86
00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:52,670
~ We can gloss over that.
~ But, God, it looks good.

87
00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:57,790
'As we continued our three-car
love-in, a challenge arrived.'

88
00:04:57,840 --> 00:04:59,430
Here we go.

89
00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:03,390
"You will drive to a farm,
which is four days from here."

90
00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:06,750
Everything is four days from
everything in Australia!

91
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:11,510
"And when you arrive you will use
your cars to round up 4,000 cows."

92
00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:13,950
~ But...
~ Can you do that?

93
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,030
"The farm is a big one.
Three million...."

94
00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:18,790
~ Three million acres?!
~ No, it's not.
~ You read that wrong.

95
00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:20,510
~ It's in words.
~ It's in words, yeah.

96
00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:23,030
~ Three...
~ It's not...? Are you sure...?
~ It isn't 300,000?

97
00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:25,070
~ Three million in the country?
~ That's a big farm.

98
00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:30,190
~ Never mind that. Rounding
up 4,000 cows using...
~ These.

99
00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:34,510
Oh, God, James, what have you done?

100
00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:36,350
What's he done, what?

101
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:40,190
As we know, there is a strong
republican movement in this country,

102
00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,750
people who think it's ridiculous
to have a head of state

103
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:44,950
living in London on the
other side of the world.

104
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:48,710
He turns up here with that
on the number plate.

105
00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:49,790
What?

106
00:05:49,840 --> 00:05:52,070
Can you not see that? It's obvious.

107
00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:55,350
~ No.
~ "Charles and Camilla."

108
00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:57,390
You've done it on purpose,
haven't you, James?

109
00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,030
~ Let me explain.
~ You blithering idiot.
~ You idiot!

110
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:03,550
Oh, no! Mine says, "Big Royalist."

111
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:05,510
~ It does.
~ It totally does. You can see it.

112
00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:06,630
"Big Royalist."

113
00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:09,190
Luckily, mine just says BMW 001,

114
00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:12,030
cos I've covered myself
on this occasion.

115
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:14,950
No, you idiot. "Bloody Mrs Windsor."

116
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,910
Oh, no! "Bloody Mrs Windsor."

117
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,350
~ We're in trouble now!
~ How could he possibly know?

118
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:21,550
I rang them up and said,
"Can you provide a car?

119
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:24,110
"Can you make sure the number
plate doesn't say 'convict'

120
00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:25,310
"or anything on it?"

121
00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:26,990
And they've done that!

122
00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:30,360
We're going to have to drive through...
We'll be stoned by republicans.

123
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:37,190
'As we set off, though, we
had a more immediate problem.

124
00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:40,310
'Could our complicated
cars really cope

125
00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:43,520
'with this vast,
superheated dust bowl?'

126
00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:51,630
Vauxhall once thought they'd try
and sell the Senator in Australia,

127
00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:54,150
a big old saloon made
in Germany in the '80s.

128
00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:57,830
So they shipped one out here
and it lasted a couple of days

129
00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:00,430
and then it split in half.

130
00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:01,990
Split in half!

131
00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:04,640
That's how brutal the outback is.

132
00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:09,590
This car has electronic
valve control,

133
00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:13,430
electronic gearbox control,
an electronic differential.

134
00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:15,670
Everything is electronic.

135
00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:18,710
It actually has a sensor
in the engine that adjusts

136
00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:22,270
all the settings, so that no matter
how hot it is or how cold it is,

137
00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:25,870
you always get 575 horsepower.

138
00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:30,390
And I'm expecting it to work
here in this dust and this heat

139
00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:31,870
and with these vibrations...

140
00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:33,790
and then go farming.

141
00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:40,310
My Nissan is an absolute nerd-fest.

142
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,030
I'm going to give you a few examples.

143
00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:44,990
It's built in a hermetically
sealed factory,

144
00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,710
so that no dust can get into
the engine or the gearbox.

145
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:49,990
The tyres are filled with nitrogen,

146
00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:53,430
because it's more stable
than atmospheric air.

147
00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:56,310
The engine is canted slightly
forwards under the bonnet,

148
00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:58,710
so that when it tenses
up under acceleration,

149
00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:01,860
it all forms a nice,
straight, efficient line.

150
00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:07,950
I mean, it's been built by the cream
of Japanese automotive engineers

151
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,310
at Nissan.

152
00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:11,270
That's a pretty good guarantee.

153
00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:15,640
But I bet even they, watching this,
would think, "Are we sure?"

154
00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:28,270
This has 30 ECUs in it. That's
30 laptops buzzing away all over.

155
00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:30,750
It's got two miles of wiring in it,

156
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:33,150
a lot of which is super-fast,
super-sophisticated

157
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,350
super-delicate fibre optics.

158
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:38,150
I mean, this dust is
going to get everywhere.

159
00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:41,880
And delicate, modern, sophisticated
electronics do not like dust.

160
00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:49,910
'As Hammond was rabbiting
on about dust,

161
00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:52,350
'I decided to have
a debate with James

162
00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:55,340
'about which of our
cars was the fastest.'

163
00:08:56,680 --> 00:09:00,440
You know the Datsun you're driving
is unbelievably fast, yes?

164
00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:03,070
Yes.

165
00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:07,270
Off the line, this will
leave it for dead.

166
00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:10,430
The M6 will cream you.

167
00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:13,680
No, not off the line it won't.
You know that's nonsense.

168
00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:21,790
'To prove him wrong, I decided
to have a drag race

169
00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:24,630
'on one of the many World
War II airfields that litter

170
00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:27,830
'this part of northern Australia.'

171
00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:31,150
It is absolutely
blistering, this thing.

172
00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:34,230
0-60, 2.8 seconds.

173
00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:35,480
2.8!

174
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:39,830
Hammond, would you like to come and
amuse us with your stately home

175
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:41,310
in a drag race?

176
00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:44,030
Yes, all right, if I must.

177
00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:48,440
He's probably got a demented relation
living in a tower in there somewhere.

178
00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:57,550
'It didn't take long
to find an airfield.

179
00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:01,960
'And we lined up on the runway
with me resigned to my fate.'

180
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:07,270
I have a four-litre twin-turbo V8

181
00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:09,910
making 521 bhp.

182
00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:13,470
But I think... I may struggle here.

183
00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:17,350
They've got launch control, more
power and they're lighter.

184
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:20,510
It's come up here what I have to
do to engage the launch control.

185
00:10:20,560 --> 00:10:24,710
So, "deactivate dynamic
stability control.

186
00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:28,390
"Select sequential mode with
drive programme three."

187
00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:30,590
That sharpens up the gear changes.

188
00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:33,590
"With the engine running, depress
the brake with the left foot."

189
00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:34,750
Done that.

190
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:38,430
"Push the selector lever
forwards and hold.

191
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:41,560
"A flag symbol appears in
the instrument cluster."

192
00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:45,270
It doesn't.

193
00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:47,460
I'll start again. Into...

194
00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:50,230
It will be a fairly simple process,

195
00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:55,270
but it will be beyond the
mind of the average ape.

196
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:58,510
Maybe the air conditioning
has to be off.

197
00:10:58,560 --> 00:11:00,790
Let's try that. No.

198
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:04,270
'Things were much simpler
in the Nissan.'

199
00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:06,550
Right. On, on, on.

200
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,590
Red, red, red.

201
00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:11,190
Manual mode first. Left
foot on the brake.

202
00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:12,630
This is a tiresome formality.

203
00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:14,790
I'm sorry to waste
your time, viewers.

204
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:17,030
Nothing in the world moves
off the line more quickly

205
00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:19,390
than a Nissan GT-R. That's
just one of those facts.

206
00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:21,150
It's probably in the Bible somewhere.

207
00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:24,870
Right, not a lot to do in the
Bentley before we do this.

208
00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:26,710
Lower the ride height. Done.

209
00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:28,270
Firm up the suspension.

210
00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:31,350
Let's have that on "sport".

211
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:32,750
And that's it. I'm ready to go.

212
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:37,710
'And, after about half
an hour, so was Jeremy.'

213
00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:39,350
OK, we're good to go,
we're good to go.

214
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:41,960
Three, two, one.

215
00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:51,590
Oh, it's gone, it's gone,
it's gone, it's gone.

216
00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:54,840
BMW scrabbling about for
traction all over the shop.

217
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:58,280
Should prove the point.

218
00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:03,080
Wow!

219
00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:07,640
This launch control doesn't work.

220
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:14,070
It does about five feet and it
goes, "Oh, I can't be bothered."

221
00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:17,150
'As it seems, had James.'

222
00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:18,710
Why did you stop?

223
00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:20,670
I won.

224
00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:23,110
What do you mean, you won?
The flags are down there.

225
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:26,150
~ No, you said which is
the quickest off the mark.
~ Mine was.

226
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:29,470
~ No, you weren't.
~ It was.
~ It wasn't.
~ It went like a scalded rabbit.

227
00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:31,870
~ I know, but I was off the mark quicker.
~ You weren't.

228
00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:33,830
Nothing is quicker off
the mark than this car.

229
00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:35,670
~ Do you want to check the camera?
~ Yes.

230
00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:38,390
~ Well, I'll check the camera.
~ All right, we'll check the camera.

231
00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:41,110
'We went to check the camera.'

232
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,870
You watch this, OK?

233
00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:45,790
~ Right, and go.
~ Go.

234
00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:48,670
~ God, we haven't got very
good reactions, have we?
~ Not very good.

235
00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:51,470
~ My God, we are useless.
~ That can't...

236
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,390
~ That's...
~ Yes, thank you, thank you.
~ Yeah, you were first.

237
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:55,630
What?

238
00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:58,310
Oh, God, look at the
BMW. Why am I last?

239
00:12:58,360 --> 00:12:59,630
Right, we've established...

240
00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:02,910
I think the Nissan just
wins it over 16 metres,

241
00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:05,030
followed by the Bentley.

242
00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:07,830
~ The BMW, a rather poor third.
~ Yes.

243
00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:11,830
'I therefore decided we should
have another drag race,

244
00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:16,000
'in which James would go all
the way and I'd go old school.'

245
00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:19,310
I'm doing manual gear changes.

246
00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:22,590
Manual start. No traction control.

247
00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:24,510
Me and the machine.

248
00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:28,270
This is a serious test,
actually, of these cars,

249
00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:30,660
drag racing them in this heat.

250
00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:33,550
107 degrees Fahrenheit.

251
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,340
Three, two, one.

252
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:42,660
Come on, Bentley, come on, come on!

253
00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:47,510
I am hard on the heels of the Nissan.

254
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:51,420
Oh, my God, I'm overtaking it!

255
00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:56,060
Come on, Beemer.

256
00:13:57,760 --> 00:13:59,630
I've got the Datsun!

257
00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:07,200
That Bentley is unbelievably fast.

258
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,200
But I going to get him.

259
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:15,760
This is the closest I've ever seen!

260
00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:21,750
Come on, Beemer, you can't
lose to that monster!

261
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:24,550
No way. No way!

262
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:29,310
Yes!

263
00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:33,320
What a machine you are, BMW!

264
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:40,710
'Having established that the most
powerful car is the fastest,

265
00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:42,900
'we got back on the road.'

266
00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:48,320
Cooling down now in the evening.
It's down to 98 degrees Fahrenheit.

267
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:52,030
'The producers said we'd
be staying that night

268
00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:54,030
'at the Million Stars Motel,

269
00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:58,150
'which boasted "the finest fish
restaurant in the outback".

270
00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,550
'And we were looking forward to that.

271
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:03,800
However, when they told
us we'd arrived...

272
00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:08,800
Where is it?

273
00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:12,670
I know exactly what
this is. I've got it.

274
00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:13,670
What?

275
00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:15,870
Million Star Motel.

276
00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:17,790
Best fish restaurant in the outback.

277
00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:19,310
It's a joke.

278
00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:20,390
Yes.

279
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:22,550
~ It's a funny joke.
~ Funny!

280
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:24,470
Funny, yeah - good!

281
00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:27,520
So, we're tenting.

282
00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:31,350
'We were given some
horrible camping stuff

283
00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:34,070
'and an Australian kitchen.

284
00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:37,280
'And once that had been set up,
we had to catch our supper.'

285
00:15:38,830 --> 00:15:39,830
No, thanks.

286
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:41,750
Welcome to Top Gear.

287
00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:47,480
~ Oh,
~ BLEEP
~ hell!

288
00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:53,110
~ What are you struggling with?
~ Everything.
~ Oh, watch it!

289
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,470
Can you look behind
you, when you do that?

290
00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:57,790
Yes! Why are you in your car?

291
00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:02,950
I am in the car because the
crocodiles are in THAT pond.

292
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:05,230
Oh, there's no crocodiles here.

293
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:08,070
Well, there are! They
can sit under water.

294
00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:10,990
These are machines for
killing and eating!

295
00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:13,990
They can tackle a water
buffalo, whole.

296
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:15,670
Are you not scared of crocodiles?

297
00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:17,230
I'm not when they're not there.

298
00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:20,390
Then there's the snakes.
There's the death adders.

299
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:24,310
There is no country on earth where
the public perception of the country

300
00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:27,150
is further removed from the
reality than Australia.

301
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:29,430
It's just tourists.

302
00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:31,910
Hold on, what was
that? What did that?

303
00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:33,070
It's gone under the water.

304
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:36,420
~ Where is he gone?
~ I don't know but he's gone down.

305
00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:39,470
~ Argh, look at that!
~ It is!

306
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:44,070
~ Yes, it is!
~ That is moving towards us, isn't it?
~ Yes.

307
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:47,110
Did you read about that one last
week that ate a Bentley whole,

308
00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:49,670
~ complete with the man in it?
~ Yes, but it spat the Bentley out.

309
00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:53,800
~ It carries a spare set of teeth.
~ Does it?
~ Yes.

310
00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:58,870
Thank you very much. Thank you.

311
00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:01,670
Now, because we're in
Australia this week,

312
00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:05,950
and because Australia is enormously
full of a million things to do,

313
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:09,710
we have no time to do
the news, I'm afraid.

314
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:13,190
Nor do we have time for The
Stig to go round the track.

315
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:18,350
But we have made time to put a
Star in our Reasonably Priced Car.

316
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:21,030
And that's because my guest tonight

317
00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:24,670
is THE best British actor
ever to come out of Canada.

318
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:27,230
Ladies and gentlemen,

319
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:30,480
please welcome, from America,
Kiefer Sutherland!

320
00:17:33,360 --> 00:17:36,350
Well done. How are you, mate?

321
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:39,390
~ Great to see you. How are you?
~ Great!
~ Look who's here!

322
00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:42,150
Jack Bauer!

323
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:45,030
Thank you very much. How are you?

324
00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:46,710
~ I'm very well. How are you?
~ Good.

325
00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:49,510
A lot of people would be surprised
to find that you were

326
00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:52,070
~ actually born in London, weren't you?
~ Yeah.

327
00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:55,630
I was born in Paddington. In fact,
there was a very funny moment.

328
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:57,670
I was doing a documentary
with a friend.

329
00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:59,510
He was following with
a camera, and I said,

330
00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:01,270
"St Mary's hospital
is right down here.

331
00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:04,110
"That's where I was born." And
as I was showing it to him,

332
00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:06,750
a wrecking ball came out of nowhere
and just knocked it down

333
00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:09,870
and, apparently, they were
moving it across the street.

334
00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:12,990
I got the last vision of the
hospital that I was born in.

335
00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:15,350
The place of your birth,
they'd knocked it down.

336
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:17,190
Yeah, I know. They
did that with mine.

337
00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:18,670
While I was being born!

338
00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:20,710
~ Of course, your father, he's Donald.
~ Yes.

339
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:23,070
I want to get on to this.
It's slightly delicate.

340
00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:26,270
But nobody likes to think
of their parents having sex.

341
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:28,990
This is not something
we can even visualise.

342
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:32,750
But your father, of course, was in
Don't Look Now, with Julie Christie.

343
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:35,870
~ Yes.
~ Is that a struggle for you to watch?

344
00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:39,350
It was a real struggle
at about 13, 14,

345
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:42,910
because Julie Christie was stunning,
and you're 14 years old

346
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:46,070
and you're watching it, trying
to block your father out.

347
00:18:46,120 --> 00:18:48,310
And then, "No, this
isn't going to work.

348
00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:52,470
"This isn't going to work." But,
yes, that moment was kind of tricky.

349
00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:56,270
Um, now, obviously, you're
best known for 24,

350
00:18:56,320 --> 00:19:00,070
and I know a lot of people here
will want me to talk about 24.

351
00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:02,990
I think I'm right in saying,
was it the first of the what

352
00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:06,750
~ we now take as the binge-viewing box set?
~ Yes.
~ It sort of was.

353
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:10,390
And there had never been before...
You were a big-name actor

354
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:13,150
who took up a TV role
which, now, is the norm.

355
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:16,390
You've got Kevin Spacey going
in House Of Cards and so on,

356
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:20,590
but, back then, you were either a
TV actor or you were a movie actor.

357
00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:22,830
So it was a ground-breaking thing.

358
00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:27,350
For me, it was a no-brainer. I noticed
the film world was changing.

359
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:30,750
We used to have five studios
that made 50-odd movies a year.

360
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:33,550
It went down to three studios
only making 15 movies a year.

361
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:35,670
And all of a sudden,
the movies that I liked,

362
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:38,070
like Ordinary People
or Terms Of Endearment,

363
00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:41,350
that kind of 20 million movie,
wasn't getting made any more.

364
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:42,550
It was all superheroes.

365
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:46,030
And all of the great drama was kind
of shifting over to television.

366
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:48,670
And with regard to
the binge-watching,

367
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:51,910
I ran into a gentleman at
an airport, and he said,

368
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:55,350
"You ruined my honeymoon." I said,
"How?" He said, "Well, my wife..."

369
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:58,070
I said, "I don't even
know your wife."

370
00:19:58,120 --> 00:20:01,390
And he said... "No, no,
no, not that. Not that.

371
00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:03,710
"We watched the first 12
hours of 24 on the plane

372
00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:05,230
"from Los Angeles to Paris.

373
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:07,430
"And the first day of our honeymoon,

374
00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:09,710
"we spent the next
12 hours in the hotel

375
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:13,230
"watching the next 12 hours."
And I was flattered by that.

376
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:14,750
You know, ruining...

377
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:17,670
24 actually ruined my children's
lives because they were young

378
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:20,670
when it first started, and
nine o'clock was their bedtime

379
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,710
but they had to go immediately
at nine o'clock.

380
00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:26,110
And even now, when they hear the
word "Previously..." they go to bed.

381
00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:30,230
That's quite a great tool.

382
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:32,990
But it was very important in
my life. Very, very important.

383
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:34,190
Thank you very much.

384
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:36,910
I'm sure a lot of people here
would agree with me on that.

385
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:39,990
~ Didn't you do Rodeo riding?
~ I did, yeah.

386
00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:43,710
~ Actually professionally?
~ I roped in the US TRC circuit.

387
00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:46,990
And I was fortunate enough, I
think I won about three or four.

388
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:49,190
So why don't you do more
movies that call for you

389
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,750
~ to ride around on horses?
~ They don't make a lot of them.

390
00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:53,830
I'm one of the few actors
I know that's actually

391
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:57,030
gotten to do a western. Earlier
in my career I got to do films

392
00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:58,950
like Young Guns and Young Guns II.

393
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:02,790
Can Charlie Sheen ride a horse?
He must be able to ride a horse.

394
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:05,590
Charlie Sheen didn't like horses
and horses didn't like him.

395
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:08,750
And that was firmly established
when we were shooting Young Guns.

396
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:11,190
And most of the scenes involving
Charlie on a horse,

397
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:15,430
he was on a ladder with a saddle and
some poor teamster holding the bit.

398
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:18,670
He would hold the reins and he would
kind of act his way out of that.

399
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:21,670
When we went to go do Three
Musketeers I remember saying

400
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:24,630
to the AD, Lee Cleary, "What
are you shooting right now?

401
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:27,390
"He said, "We've got Charlie coming
round the bend on a horse."

402
00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:29,910
I said, "You do, do you? Oh,
that's going to be great!

403
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:32,350
"I'd get your people out
of the road." And he said,

404
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:35,070
"No, no, he's going to stop right
by the camera over there."

405
00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:37,910
I said, "I promise you, he's not."

406
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:40,470
And they called action and
you could hear the horse

407
00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:42,990
starts off in a kind of a
trot and then, in seconds,

408
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:44,990
you could hear it's in a full gallop.

409
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:47,870
~ Then off in the distance you hear, "Whoa,
~ BLEEP!
~ Whoa!

410
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:51,630
~ "Whoa!
~ BLEEP!
~ Whoa!" And then he came around the corner

411
00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:54,630
and he's holding on to the mane.
He's let go of the reins.

412
00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:57,070
He's now holding on for dear life

413
00:21:57,120 --> 00:22:00,990
and he's hitting the horse
in the back, behind the ear.

414
00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:03,470
I remember Lee Cleary went,

415
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:06,150
~ "Well, you weren't
~ BLEEP
~ joking there, were you?"

416
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:09,430
And he didn't move
a muscle to help him.

417
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:11,910
Now, we're going to
move on to your cars,

418
00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:14,710
~ cos I've looked at your car
history, which is pretty good.
~ Thanks.

419
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:17,510
~ Cos you began with a '67 Mustang.
~ I did, yes.

420
00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:20,950
When I was about 17 years old,
I was living in New York

421
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:24,950
and I wanted to get to Los Angeles,
and I did a print ad for Levis.

422
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:30,110
And I took that money and I bought
a '67 Mustang. Six cylinder.

423
00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:34,870
And I learned how to drive somewhere
between New York and Maryland.

424
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:36,670
And then got pretty good at it

425
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:39,390
somewhere around the Texas Panhandle.

426
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:43,030
~ You've got a Panamera now.
~ I do, yeah.

427
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:47,510
What in the name of all that's holy
possessed you to buy a Panamera,

428
00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:48,950
which is not a good-looking car?

429
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:52,430
It was... I think it's one of
the most beautiful interiors.

430
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:56,470
~ I like those buttons, that's brilliant.
~ I think it's phenomenal.

431
00:22:56,520 --> 00:23:00,670
But I was actually going to shoot
24 in Cape Town in South Africa.

432
00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:03,710
And the flight I had was from
Los Angeles to Frankfurt

433
00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:05,470
and then Frankfurt to South Africa.

434
00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:07,950
And Porsche, before
Panamera had come out,

435
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:11,670
they would take you off the plane,
take your luggage off the plane,

436
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:13,310
put it in a Panamera -

437
00:23:13,360 --> 00:23:16,030
the Panamera was being driven
by a race-car driver -

438
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,190
and they would take you
to the next terminal,

439
00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:19,910
which was about five miles away.

440
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:23,830
And he would get it up to about
145mph and halfway to the terminal

441
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:27,680
~ you're like, "Holy
~ BLEEP,
~ I got to get me one of these!"

442
00:23:28,360 --> 00:23:30,910
Anyway, the lap. How
was it out there?

443
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:34,750
Well, first of all, you know,
it's an amazing experience,

444
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:38,110
I have to say. I've been watching
this show for years.

445
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:40,910
I've been making fun of people
driving this car all the time,

446
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:43,790
and the whole time while The
Stig was driving, I'm like,

447
00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:47,230
"Oh, I wish I had never made fun
of anybody driving this car!"

448
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:49,590
It scared the crap out of me.

449
00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:51,550
He got it going at such
a point where I'm like,

450
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:54,190
"You're not going to make it,
you're not going to make it!"

451
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:57,310
Literally I felt like that sticker
of Garfield at the back of the car,

452
00:23:57,360 --> 00:23:58,590
trying to crawl out.

453
00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:01,430
That'll be The Follow Through.
Or going through the tyres.

454
00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:04,070
So, who would like to see the lap?

455
00:24:04,120 --> 00:24:06,270
Yes!

456
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:09,190
~ Can I introduce this?
~ Yes.

457
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,710
The following events
take place in real time.

458
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:14,470
I've always wanted to do that!
Here we go, let's play it.

459
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:16,830
~ I like the colour.
~ Yeah, the colour stands out well.

460
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:19,590
This is unusual weather
for Britain in January.

461
00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:23,000
This is that moment where
you think of nothing to say.

462
00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:25,820
Except scheisse.

463
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:29,910
You could have said, "Dammit!"
We would have liked a dammit.

464
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:32,630
Or maybe "Send me the schematics
of the track on my PDA."

465
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:34,710
That would have been
another good one.

466
00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:36,670
That's very tidy through there.

467
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:39,830
And - oh, yeah, that's very
well done in that weather.

468
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:42,680
Come on - oh, you're
in fourth, ya prat.

469
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:45,590
~ "Prat" gives it away.
~ Yes.

470
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:48,750
No American's going to
say prat - or Canadian.

471
00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:49,990
Tidy again.

472
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:52,830
Hit the brake like you hate it.

473
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:57,230
Yes, look at the tech line there,
it does handle very well, that.

474
00:24:57,280 --> 00:24:59,510
Oh, no, wait, you've got
it understeering there.

475
00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:01,560
That is very slippery.

476
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:05,150
It felt so much faster
when I was doing it.

477
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:06,950
Yes, it's tragic.

478
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:10,000
Don't you dare take your
foot off, you pussy.

479
00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:17,040
~ The slower it looks, weirdly,
sometimes, the faster it is.
~ Yeah.

480
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:22,310
See, look at that, staying away
from the tyres. Very smooth again.

481
00:25:22,360 --> 00:25:25,470
I don't know what the time
is yet, I haven't seen.

482
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:28,830
~ This was the tricky part.
~ Oh, that's a tricky corner, that is.

483
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:30,310
Oh, it's mean.

484
00:25:30,360 --> 00:25:32,150
But that is beautifully done.

485
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:35,950
And, again, beautifully done around
Gambon and across the line.

486
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:41,510
Well, there we are.

487
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:49,310
So...

488
00:25:49,360 --> 00:25:51,790
where do you think you've come?

489
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:56,590
~ Oh, gosh, I have...
~ Bearing in mind... OK,
these are all dry laps.

490
00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:58,670
The wet ones start with James Blunt.

491
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:02,520
I can't remember what "FW"
stands for. It think "fairly."

492
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:05,550
~ But it might not be.
~ Oh, fairly wet.

493
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:10,910
I think our fastest wet lap
we've had so far is at 1.49.4.

494
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:12,390
What do you think?

495
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:14,030
I really haven't a clue.

496
00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:18,150
OK, Kiefer Sutherland,
you did it in...

497
00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:21,390
~ Well,
~ 1. Good.
~ That's not surprising.

498
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:25,070
~ What is surprising in that
weather is the next one - 40.
~ OK.

499
00:26:25,120 --> 00:26:26,830
Ooh.

500
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:28,880
What's terrifying me...

501
00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:34,230
~ .. is if, and I like James Blunt
a lot, he's a really good guy.
~ Mm-hm.

502
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:39,110
~ But if James Blunt's faster than
Jack Bauer, this could end 24.
~ Yeah.

503
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:40,590
OK.

504
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:42,190
Right, here we go.

505
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:44,550
1.49...

506
00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:47,910
Ooh!

507
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:49,550
2. 2.

508
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:51,070
So that...

509
00:26:57,440 --> 00:26:59,030
Are you happy with that?

510
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:02,790
You know what? Yes. I've
never run on a track.

511
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:05,550
I mean, anything that I've ever been
asked to do in a car, which is

512
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:07,990
quite a lot of stuff,
but they basically say,

513
00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:11,030
"OK, I want you to go as
fast as you can, start here,

514
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:13,950
"and then when you
see that bus, hit it."

515
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:16,630
That, I do really well.

516
00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:19,470
Anyway, ladies and gentleman, can
I just say, on behalf of all us,

517
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:21,830
~ thank you for coming.
~ Gosh, thank you so much.

518
00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:24,980
~ Kiefer Sutherland!
~ Thank you, guys, very much.

519
00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:31,430
Right.

520
00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:34,590
Tonight we are in Australia,

521
00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:37,870
trying to find out if
modern, complicated cars

522
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:40,030
can survive the outback.

523
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:42,190
Indeed, the producers had told us

524
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:45,430
to drive from Darwin to
a three million acre farm,

525
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:49,910
where we would have to round
up 4,000 cows using a BMW M6,

526
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:54,190
~ a Bentley Continental, and a Nissan GT-R.
~ Yeah.

527
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:57,110
When we left the action,
we were sitting beside

528
00:27:57,160 --> 00:28:01,950
a crocodile-infested swamp, trying
to catch fish for our supper.

529
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:04,830
And the good news is we
survived the crocodile.

530
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:07,270
We did, but we weren't
out of danger yet.

531
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:10,310
Because in Australia animals
don't just like to bite, sting

532
00:28:10,360 --> 00:28:11,550
and strangle you,

533
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:15,430
they also love to jump out in the
road and kill you in a crash.

534
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:18,710
Absolutely. And that's why, before
we set off on the second day,

535
00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:21,670
we thought we should probably
test our brakes.

536
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:25,110
So we found a long, straight,
empty piece of road -

537
00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:27,430
which isn't actually very
difficult in the outback -

538
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:30,080
and we set up a little experiment.

539
00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:38,070
Here is what we've planned -

540
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:41,430
Richard Hammond will drive
down this road at 60mph.

541
00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:44,790
When he gets to the chequered
flags over there, he will brake.

542
00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:48,710
Now, the Highway Code says
he will stop 240 feet later

543
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:53,110
on this line here, right where
James May and I are standing.

544
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:55,790
Ah, yes, but the thing is, when
the Highway Code was written,

545
00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:57,590
cars were small and light.

546
00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:00,350
That Bentley weighs
two and a half tonnes.

547
00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:01,950
Yeah, two and a half tonnes.

548
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:05,100
So, let's see how long
it takes him to stop it.

549
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:09,470
60mph.

550
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:11,080
Braking!

551
00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:16,470
Highway Code.

552
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:18,630
Two and a half tonne Bentley.

553
00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:20,420
I'll regret that.

554
00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:25,550
Missed opportunity. I mean, that's
never going to come along -

555
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:27,670
they volunteered and everything.

556
00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:30,150
Was that 60mph?

557
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:32,110
~ Yep.
~ Miles?
~ Miles?

558
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:34,560
I'm going to mark it here, look.

559
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:38,150
B for Bentley.

560
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:41,630
~ And the little wing.
~ There you go.

561
00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:44,550
I elected to go next
in the Gran Coupe which,

562
00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:46,230
unlike Hammond's Bentley,

563
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:50,110
didn't have carbon-ceramic brakes.

564
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:52,710
I'm going to be relying
on old-fashioned steel.

565
00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:55,750
And the quick reactions
of a man in his prime.

566
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:59,430
~ Do we need to be this far away?
~ No, we could confidently move forwards.

567
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:02,870
Yeah, think who's driving.
Maybe that much.

568
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:05,590
~ That much. That much.
~ OK. I'm ready.

569
00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:07,990
Here we go.

570
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:11,510
OK, up to 60. That
does not take long.

571
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:13,230
And... braking.

572
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:17,670
Oh, that hurt my face!

573
00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:21,910
More to the point, it had
shattered Hammond's effort.

574
00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:23,390
What is the Highway Code on about?

575
00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:25,750
I don't know, what are
they talking about?

576
00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:29,680
The BMW had stopped in just 75 feet.

577
00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:33,670
Quite a target for
the Datsun to beat.

578
00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:37,270
What worries me is he doesn't ever
use anything he's given to the full.

579
00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:39,470
Give him 900 horsepower, he uses 20.

580
00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:42,820
~ So he might not use all the brakes?
~ No, he won't.

581
00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:46,680
As it turned out, he
did use all the brakes.

582
00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:49,510
But even so...

583
00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:52,910
~ Ooh!
~ I think it's actually
gone over the BM. It has.

584
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:55,590
The BMW has cleaned up there.

585
00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:57,950
'But, although the BMW had won,

586
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,990
'all three cars had made
a very good point.'

587
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:03,950
When you go on a speed awareness
course and the man goes,

588
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:06,110
"It'll take you 240 feet to stop."

589
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,230
Just put your hand up and
go, "No, it doesn't."

590
00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:11,190
We have to do 70mph in
Britain on the motorway,

591
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:14,070
because somebody might have a Ford
Anglia and it will take them

592
00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:17,670
that long to stop. But if you're
driving a good car like this - well,

593
00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:19,550
any one of ours, really -

594
00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:24,510
~ you should be allowed to go 140... 210mph.
~ Yeah.

595
00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:27,600
I shouldn't have to suffer because
somebody's still got an Anglia.

596
00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:32,950
Having established that our
cars could stop on a stamp,

597
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,140
we let them off the leash.

598
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:48,040
542 horsepower from a twin-turbo V6.

599
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:51,720
It is absolutely ballistic.

600
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:59,950
The mid-range thrust of this, when
you're midway through a corner,

601
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:03,070
it just... phwoar...

602
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:05,080
launches itself.

603
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:09,670
I think in this you could give
some pretty good sports cars

604
00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:11,720
a pretty big surprise.

605
00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:20,430
In the early days, BMW's
M cars sounded like

606
00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:22,790
500 yards of ripping calico

607
00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:27,230
and they had telepathic steering
and they were magnificent.

608
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:29,470
In recent years, though,

609
00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:31,710
some of the magic has sort of gone.

610
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:34,600
With this one, though, it is back.

611
00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:39,840
It is properly back.

612
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:48,360
God, this is just...
electrifyingly good.

613
00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:52,870
Soon the producers
told us to pull over

614
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:56,310
for some kind of motor racing event.

615
00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:59,300
What manner of thing
will it be, I wonder?

616
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:02,670
The mystery deepened when we arrived

617
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:06,320
and were given idiotic
health and safety outfits.

618
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:10,240
But then all was revealed.

619
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:16,600
Holy cow!

620
00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:24,230
Most of the steel used
to build modern China

621
00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:27,950
came out of this vast
hole in the ground.

622
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:31,800
But today it would be our racetrack.

623
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:36,550
Must be a hill climb.

624
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:39,990
~ Like Goodwood.
~ Yeah, it is.
~ It's not exactly like...
~ Not exactly, no.

625
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:45,350
Every single corner has got a drop
on it that's... lethal. Oh, hello.

626
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:47,000
Oh, it's you.

627
00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:51,070
"You will now take it in turns to
drive up the hill climb course..."

628
00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:54,910
~ It is, yeah.
~ ".. attempting to beat a benchmark time."

629
00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:58,910
~ Let me guess, the benchmark
time is set by The Stig?
~ It isn't The Stig.

630
00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:02,670
But it is... The Stig's
Australian cousin.

631
00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:11,110
~ He's bigger than English Stig.
~ Mm.

632
00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:13,870
And he's got a bigger... sausage.

633
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:15,910
~ How did you find that out?
~ Well, look.

634
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:20,080
~ Even from here, one can see that he is a...
~ Big Stig.

635
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:23,590
Big Stig would be laying
down the gauntlet

636
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:26,190
in a typical Aussie sportscar -

637
00:34:26,240 --> 00:34:28,480
a Holden Ute.

638
00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:32,790
~ You know that, whatever it's called, Maloo?
~ Yeah.

639
00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:37,040
~ It's got more horsepower than my BMW.
~ Has it?
~ Two more.

640
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:41,030
Three, two, one, go!

641
00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:50,640
Whoa, that's a spectacular
thing to look at.

642
00:34:56,800 --> 00:35:00,720
~ Oh, no!
~ Oh, he's gone a bit sideways there. What...?

643
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:09,720
~ Am I the only one who really likes that Ute?
~ Yes, you are.
~ OK.

644
00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:15,910
And they're ready, steady, and...

645
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:17,390
across the line.

646
00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:20,640
Gordon Bennett, he was... Oof.

647
00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:24,670
As Big Stig's dust settled,
the three of us

648
00:35:24,720 --> 00:35:27,520
made our way to the
bottom of the mine.

649
00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:31,030
~ I'll win this.
~ I seriously doubt that.

650
00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:33,790
~ Well, I will or he will cos
we've got four-wheel drive.
~ It's true.

651
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:36,630
Four-wheel drive is useful on a
tractor but on a normal road car

652
00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:39,750
~ it's pointless. It's like water.
~ How's it like water?

653
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:42,630
Cos it's neither good nor bad,
it just doesn't do anything.

654
00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:44,950
Water's useful for a lot of things.

655
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:48,190
It is if you put hops in it,
or grapes. But on its own...

656
00:35:48,240 --> 00:35:50,510
When was the last time
a rear-wheel drive car

657
00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:52,590
won the World Rally Championship?

658
00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:55,070
~ Huh!
~ Oh... recently.

659
00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:57,430
~ Not that recently.
~ In my mind, it was.

660
00:35:57,480 --> 00:35:59,630
~ It was 1983 and that was yesterday.
~ Correct.

661
00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:02,110
Ever since then it's been four-wheel.

662
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:04,990
~ That's a rally stage, isn't it?
~ I shall do this first.

663
00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:07,840
~ And you will witness poetry.
~ Fire away.

664
00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:14,030
In front of a crowd of bemused
miners, I prepared for my run.

665
00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:16,590
Traction control... off.

666
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:19,200
Three, two, one, go!

667
00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:24,310
It's struggling for traction already!

668
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:28,550
Second, still spinning
the wheels. Third!

669
00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:30,750
Still spinning the wheels.

670
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:34,390
Maybe I should have kept
the traction control on.

671
00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:37,270
Ohhh!

672
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:38,670
Slithering.

673
00:36:38,720 --> 00:36:40,190
Big slide.

674
00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:44,070
God above.

675
00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:46,990
What if, all of a sudden - twoo! -

676
00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:49,310
and then we just saw the
underside of the BMW.

677
00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:51,700
Could check the exhaust is OK.

678
00:36:57,800 --> 00:37:02,440
Come on, Beemer, give
me that 575 horsepower!

679
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:08,230
Four-wheel drive is for the weak.

680
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:11,320
180kph!

681
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:16,400
And through the lorries
and across the line!

682
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:20,750
Next, the Bentley.

683
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:23,950
And the magnificent country residence
of the Duke of Marlborough

684
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,350
takes its place on the starting line.

685
00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:30,150
I'm going to bias the suspension
slightly towards soft.

686
00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:32,230
I might get more traction that way.

687
00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:35,830
Three, two, one, go!

688
00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:39,440
Grip, grip, grip! Good girl.

689
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:45,150
After just 100 metres,

690
00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:49,440
the four-wheel drive Bentley was
four seconds ahead of the BMW.

691
00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:52,540
Into the hairpin.

692
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:58,760
Oh, four-wheel drive helping
me round that a treat.

693
00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:04,700
Hairpin.

694
00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:10,350
The China and silverware
is going to fall over

695
00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:14,300
and make a terrible mess for
the butler to clear up later.

696
00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:19,160
Right, braking, ready for
the... Oh, God, turn here...

697
00:38:20,720 --> 00:38:22,990
Come on, bite! There you go.

698
00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:32,790
Right, viewers, now we're alone,

699
00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:35,030
look, that car should be
the fastest up that course

700
00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:37,950
but with the best will in the
world, I'm not going to be,

701
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:39,870
so I've got a plan.

702
00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:46,030
English Stig. I've been carrying
him around for days.

703
00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:48,590
With English Stig smuggled
into the driving seat,

704
00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:51,990
the GT-R readied for the off.

705
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:53,910
Here he is, look. "Hello."

706
00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:57,760
Three, two, one, go!

707
00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:05,870
~ That's quite a vigorous start.
~ Hello!

708
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:16,180
~ Um...that was a racing
line, there, did you see?
~ Yeah.

709
00:39:22,720 --> 00:39:26,000
~ None of what I'm seeing...
~ Makes sense?
~ .. is possible.

710
00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:39,280
~ Oh, my God.
~ He's twitching, he's actually...
~ Oh, my...!

711
00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:46,670
Where's he going?

712
00:39:46,720 --> 00:39:51,020
He forgot where the end... Well,
he did something James May-ish.

713
00:39:55,720 --> 00:39:57,390
Thanks very much.

714
00:39:57,440 --> 00:39:59,000
Here he is.

715
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:05,390
~ That was very quick.
~ Yeah.
~ It was vigorous.
~ Four-wheel drive.

716
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:08,030
~ It's a good car. It flatters.
~ It does.
~ I'm not saying...

717
00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:11,350
You're right to say it. I... You
know, I wasn't that confident,

718
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:14,550
~ but it does look after you all the way.
~ We have the times here anyway.

719
00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:18,600
The Australian Stig in the
HSV Maloo did a 1:17.8.

720
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:24,350
~ I was a little bit slower,
as it's turned out.
~ Really?
~ Go on.

721
00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:25,510
He was 1:17.8.

722
00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:27,270
I was 1:31.6.

723
00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:29,430
That is slower, isn't it?

724
00:40:29,480 --> 00:40:32,990
Bentley... 1:18.6.

725
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:35,870
~ Oh, that's not bad.
~ That's pretty good.

726
00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:37,150
I'm pleased with that.

727
00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:39,430
You were really... You
were only a second off.

728
00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:40,710
I was on it on the old Bentley.

729
00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:44,000
GT-R. 1:13.3.

730
00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:48,960
Four and a half seconds
faster than a Stig.

731
00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:52,320
~ Well done, you.
~ Thank you.

732
00:40:54,320 --> 00:40:57,390
'As we got back on the
road, I could accept that

733
00:40:57,440 --> 00:41:00,950
'four-wheel drive makes
sense in an iron ore mine.

734
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:02,310
'But James's time...

735
00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:04,320
'no.

736
00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:08,880
1 minute 13 seconds, James May.

737
00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:14,790
It normally takes James May 1 minute
13 seconds to go through a door.

738
00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:16,150
How did he do that?

739
00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:20,240
'And more to the point,
how did our cars do that?'

740
00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:24,110
To be in this Bentley
hammering up that hill,

741
00:41:24,160 --> 00:41:27,670
you're asking a lot
of a modern luxury car

742
00:41:27,720 --> 00:41:29,710
weighing the best part
of two and a half tonnes.

743
00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:31,230
It did it.

744
00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:35,750
'After a dirty, dusty day,

745
00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:39,680
'we were looking forward to
staying in an actual hotel.

746
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:45,270
'Sadly, though, this was
the only one for miles.'

747
00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:49,320
~ Evening.
~ Evening.

748
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:55,270
~ Is that a bed?
~ Is it?
~ Yeah.

749
00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:59,840
'Jeremy, therefore, suggested
we should leave immediately...

750
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:07,240
'.. and try a new type of tenting
that he'd just thought of.'

751
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:12,710
What are you doing?

752
00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:16,470
~ Most people build a campfire
and then sit around it, yes?
~ Yes.

753
00:42:16,520 --> 00:42:20,510
What I've done is built
the campfire round us.

754
00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:21,950
So we can sit in the middle,

755
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:23,590
cook our salmonella

756
00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:26,990
and none of all the dangerous
animals can get at us.

757
00:42:27,040 --> 00:42:30,310
I have revolutionised tenting,
is what I've done.

758
00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:31,750
Hang on.

759
00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:35,270
~ What are you doing now?
~ What's the best way of starting a fire?

760
00:42:35,320 --> 00:42:37,350
Petrol.

761
00:42:37,400 --> 00:42:40,520
What must the world look
like from inside that head?

762
00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:44,710
~ Are you ready?
~ Yes.

763
00:42:48,720 --> 00:42:52,590
Behold! For I have made
fire all around us!

764
00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:54,590
~ Brilliant. Jeremy...
~ It's quite warm.
~ What?

765
00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:55,870
One of the many advantages of

766
00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:58,110
a single traditional campfire
that you sit round

767
00:42:58,160 --> 00:43:00,670
is that you can move out of the
way of where the smoke is going.

768
00:43:00,720 --> 00:43:03,750
Yeah. You can't with mine,
but we are safe. Get down low.

769
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:05,750
~ Down low. It's better.
~ I already am down low.

770
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:07,630
~ It's worse.
~ No, it's better here.

771
00:43:07,680 --> 00:43:10,830
~ Anyway...
~ What?
~ Where are the tents?

772
00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:12,910
In the cars.

773
00:43:12,960 --> 00:43:14,960
~ Well...
~ You plum sack.

774
00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:22,190
'The next morning, after
another dreadful night,

775
00:43:22,240 --> 00:43:24,800
'we were back on the road.

776
00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:28,350
'And after about four hours,

777
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:31,990
'Professor Hammond finally
realised something.'

778
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:35,880
It's big. It is big, Australia.

779
00:43:37,480 --> 00:43:41,550
'We were headed for the gigantic
farm where we'd be herding cattle,

780
00:43:41,600 --> 00:43:45,590
'and had decided to try
and reach it in one day.

781
00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:49,200
'The drive would be... enormous.'

782
00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:53,870
I spy with my little eye
something beginning with T.

783
00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:55,120
Tree.

784
00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:59,230
I spy with my little eye
something beginning with T.

785
00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:01,000
Termite mound.

786
00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:05,310
I spy with my little eye
something beginning with T.

787
00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:07,500
It's "tree". Just stop it!

788
00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:10,150
'Since Hammond wouldn't play,

789
00:44:10,200 --> 00:44:14,430
'I tuned into the only station
that my radio could receive.'

790
00:44:14,480 --> 00:44:18,350
'.. lightweight heifers out
of Darwin heading to Indonesia

791
00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:21,950
'are now fetching up to 2.25 a kilo.

792
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:27,070
'Fattening steers heading to
Indonesia up to 2.45 a kilo.'

793
00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:30,160
Why don't you play Steely Dan?!

794
00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:34,830
'Normally you get SOME excitement
in this part of Australia

795
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:39,520
'when you have to overtake a
convoy of gigantic road trains.'

796
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:49,840
'We were actually quite looking
forward to the peril.'

797
00:44:56,640 --> 00:44:58,510
A lot of dust coming up here.

798
00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:02,350
'But in cars as fast as
ours, it was a doddle.'

799
00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:04,670
I'm out of the way. I'm free.

800
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:10,830
'At one o'clock, I had
a delicious Aussie lunch.'

801
00:45:10,880 --> 00:45:12,990
"Bloody hot ring-burner."

802
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:16,040
'And then it was back
to business as usual.'

803
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:20,430
'C2 heifers sell from 160-176.

804
00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:22,990
'Lightweight C3 heifers lifted four.

805
00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:25,150
'They sell from 160-190.

806
00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:29,150
'And heavyweight heifers
returned up to 204 cents...'

807
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:31,280
Oh, God!

808
00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:45,230
'Darkness had fallen

809
00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:49,870
'when we finally reached the
bottom of the farm drive.'

810
00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:51,460
Joy of joys!

811
00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:57,510
'But...it took another
two hours to reach

812
00:45:57,560 --> 00:46:00,550
'the farmhouse at the top of it...'

813
00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:01,990
~ Welcome.
~ Thank you.

814
00:46:02,040 --> 00:46:04,430
'.. where there were
no spare bedrooms.

815
00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:09,160
'So I decided to try another
new sort of tenting.'

816
00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:15,550
~ Do you know what?
~ What?
~ We started this, I liked all three cars.

817
00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:17,470
I still do.

818
00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:21,190
But my conviction that the Bentley
is the best is now absolute.

819
00:46:21,240 --> 00:46:22,390
I just...

820
00:46:22,440 --> 00:46:25,510
~ I still find it slightly sort of...
~ What?

821
00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:28,350
There's a slight hint of
faux-toffery about it,

822
00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:30,230
which suits you very well, obviously.

823
00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:32,190
But the great thing
about the Nissan is

824
00:46:32,240 --> 00:46:34,990
it's just a finely honed
driving instrument.

825
00:46:35,040 --> 00:46:37,830
Well, no... OK, on the
Nurburgring, yours is...

826
00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:39,310
Don't mention the Nurburgring.

827
00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:41,990
~ That's what it's for, James.
~ No, it's not.
~ And Jeremy, your BM.

828
00:46:42,040 --> 00:46:44,070
~ It does look brilliant.
~ There you go.

829
00:46:44,120 --> 00:46:46,110
It's a very competent
motorcar, the BMW.

830
00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:48,470
That's damning with faint
praise, that is, May.

831
00:46:48,520 --> 00:46:49,790
Yes, exactly.

832
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:52,230
Yours is a bit too Dolce & Gabbana.

833
00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:54,030
Yours is a bit too Poundland.

834
00:46:54,080 --> 00:46:57,110
They're both brilliant
cars, make no mistake.

835
00:46:57,160 --> 00:47:00,230
~ What are you doing, by the way?
~ Claymores. They're mines.

836
00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:01,550
I brought them from Britain.

837
00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:04,310
Ring our campsite with claymores.

838
00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:06,790
Then any animal that comes...

839
00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:09,640
.. they will... it
will become a veneer.

840
00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:15,550
'When my work was done and May and
Hammond had drunk all the beer,

841
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:17,870
'we turned in for the night.'

842
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:26,480
~ What was that?!
~ That was the sound of me saving your life.

843
00:47:30,800 --> 00:47:35,520
'The next morning, our campsite
looks like an abattoir.'

844
00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:41,270
~ What's this?
~ Crocodile's ear.

845
00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:44,310
~ It's hairy.
~ Crocodiles do have hairy ears.

846
00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:45,710
They don't even have ears.

847
00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:48,630
They do. That was a crocodile
that was coming to eat us.

848
00:47:48,680 --> 00:47:50,870
And my claymore saved our lives.

849
00:47:50,920 --> 00:47:52,390
Look what we've got here, Hammond.

850
00:47:52,440 --> 00:47:53,870
It's a crocodile's hoof(!)

851
00:47:53,920 --> 00:47:57,070
You've detonated one
of the man's cows.

852
00:47:57,120 --> 00:48:00,790
Let's not get bogged down
with..."ooh, blew up," all right?

853
00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:04,270
Because I've been reading
about this farm.

854
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:08,710
~ Yes.
~ It's actually 3.2 million acres.

855
00:48:08,760 --> 00:48:11,430
So another 200,000 acres
just slipped in there?

856
00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:13,190
And to put that in perspective,

857
00:48:13,240 --> 00:48:17,990
this single farm is the same
size as Buckinghamshire...

858
00:48:18,040 --> 00:48:20,670
and Hertfordshire... and Surrey...

859
00:48:20,720 --> 00:48:24,710
and East Sussex and West
Sussex and Kent, combined.

860
00:48:24,760 --> 00:48:28,480
It's the same size as the
South East of England!

861
00:48:31,800 --> 00:48:37,240
'Everything you see here, and
a lot more besides, is one farm.

862
00:48:40,080 --> 00:48:42,990
'And as we set off
to do cattle herding,

863
00:48:43,040 --> 00:48:45,550
'we were still struggling
to get our heads

864
00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:48,000
'around the enormity of it all.'

865
00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:53,550
It's 250 miles from this farm
to the nearest supermarket.

866
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:57,190
That's like driving from
London to Newcastle

867
00:48:57,240 --> 00:49:01,430
just to buy some washing-up
liquid and some bog roll.

868
00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:03,590
And it's not driving on motorways.

869
00:49:03,640 --> 00:49:06,940
It's not the A1 and it's
not the M1, it's tracks.

870
00:49:09,120 --> 00:49:14,600
In Britain, the average beef herd
is between, sort of, 28 and 50 cows.

871
00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:18,520
And here it's 64,000.

872
00:49:22,280 --> 00:49:25,070
'Our task was to round
up 4,000 of them,

873
00:49:25,120 --> 00:49:28,420
'and we assumed this many
would be easy to spot.'

874
00:49:29,680 --> 00:49:34,470
~ Now, have you raised your
suspension up, Hammond?
~ Yes, I have.

875
00:49:34,520 --> 00:49:38,520
~ Can you see any cows?
~ No, no. Not one.

876
00:49:39,720 --> 00:49:42,150
But we could be in the
equivalent of Dover

877
00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:44,070
and the cows could
be in Beaconsfield.

878
00:49:44,120 --> 00:49:45,950
Well, I was just thinking that.

879
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:48,710
What if they're all in
the opposite corner?

880
00:49:48,760 --> 00:49:51,960
They could be 100 miles
away from here.

881
00:49:54,920 --> 00:49:58,230
'Even the hi-tech BMW was no help.'

882
00:49:58,280 --> 00:50:03,030
'Voice commands. New entry.
Spell name of place.'

883
00:50:03,080 --> 00:50:04,590
Some cows.

884
00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:06,590
'Did you mean Sheep Hills?'

885
00:50:06,640 --> 00:50:09,030
No, not sheep. Cows.

886
00:50:09,080 --> 00:50:11,870
What's the noise you
make to attract a cow?

887
00:50:11,920 --> 00:50:14,150
If it was a dog it would be...

888
00:50:14,200 --> 00:50:16,350
I don't know anything about cows...

889
00:50:16,400 --> 00:50:18,800
apart from what they taste like.

890
00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:25,640
It is difficult to be a cowboy
when we can't find any cows.

891
00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:30,260
41 degrees out there.

892
00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:34,020
No cows.

893
00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:40,750
'After an hour's meandering about,
however, we struck gold.'

894
00:50:40,800 --> 00:50:42,190
Cow!

895
00:50:42,240 --> 00:50:44,670
Over there. Yes, cows!

896
00:50:44,720 --> 00:50:47,230
I'm counting four cows.

897
00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:50,590
That is a start. Get
'em, round 'em up.

898
00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:53,740
You two take the flanks,
I'll stay at the rear.

899
00:50:59,720 --> 00:51:03,790
Don't get too close. If you panic
'em, you'll spoil the burgers.

900
00:51:03,840 --> 00:51:05,710
We've got them. We have them.

901
00:51:05,760 --> 00:51:07,500
This is perfect.

902
00:51:11,800 --> 00:51:13,950
We're brilliant at this!

903
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:15,800
'But then...'

904
00:51:17,560 --> 00:51:19,870
They're going to brake
and go in the woods.

905
00:51:19,920 --> 00:51:22,830
They're getting into the trees!

906
00:51:22,880 --> 00:51:25,480
I can't go in there. It's too rough.

907
00:51:26,120 --> 00:51:28,310
'And even though Hammond
had four-wheel drive,

908
00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:31,590
'it turned out he couldn't
go in there either.'

909
00:51:35,560 --> 00:51:37,300
Um, I'm beached.

910
00:51:37,960 --> 00:51:41,030
'And by the time James
had pulled him out...'

911
00:51:41,080 --> 00:51:43,920
Three, two, one. Action!

912
00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:50,340
'..our four cows had wandered off.'

913
00:51:53,120 --> 00:51:56,150
Sitrep - we found four
cows and we lost them.

914
00:51:56,200 --> 00:52:02,440
'So, what chance would we
have when we found 4,000?'

915
00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:12,470
Right.

916
00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:14,120
Right.

917
00:52:15,440 --> 00:52:19,190
Now, this is the biggest
flock of cows

918
00:52:19,240 --> 00:52:22,000
I have ever seen in my entire life.

919
00:52:25,960 --> 00:52:28,870
'Our job was to get
them all turned round

920
00:52:28,920 --> 00:52:33,400
'and then herd them into a giant
pen, which was 10km away...

921
00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:38,920
'.. a pretty tall order for
three cars like these.'

922
00:52:40,720 --> 00:52:43,920
It's like Zulu, watching
them coming towards us.

923
00:52:50,800 --> 00:52:52,270
Here we go.

924
00:52:53,960 --> 00:52:57,000
Has anyone got any
plans, cos I haven't?

925
00:52:58,320 --> 00:53:01,950
'Hammond suggested we break
the herd into smaller chunks.

926
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:04,750
'But that didn't work at all.'

927
00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:07,880
They're going in completely
the wrong direction now.

928
00:53:12,360 --> 00:53:15,660
Oh, now... How are they...?
What, they've gone...

929
00:53:22,120 --> 00:53:25,550
They're just going round me.
They are not very scared of me.

930
00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:29,870
I'm in the middle. I've been herded
by the cows. It's all gone wrong.

931
00:53:29,920 --> 00:53:34,390
~ Clarkson, where the hell are you?
~ I am now in cow dust.

932
00:53:34,440 --> 00:53:36,240
I can see nothing.

933
00:53:37,440 --> 00:53:39,790
OK, they're charging
me. This is unexpected.

934
00:53:39,840 --> 00:53:42,040
They're running towards me.

935
00:53:43,440 --> 00:53:47,400
We are in the middle of the cows.
We've been outwitted by cows.

936
00:53:49,640 --> 00:53:52,670
Um, nice cows. Morning, cows.

937
00:53:52,720 --> 00:53:54,790
That bull's menacing me.

938
00:53:59,040 --> 00:54:01,270
This is a remarkably brave cow.

939
00:54:01,320 --> 00:54:03,910
It won't be pushed
back into line at all.

940
00:54:03,960 --> 00:54:06,700
When I say "cow",
I mean massive bull.

941
00:54:09,360 --> 00:54:13,470
I may need some help here.
This guy is properly stubborn.

942
00:54:13,520 --> 00:54:15,750
I shall call you James May.

943
00:54:15,800 --> 00:54:17,940
He fears the Nissan more.

944
00:54:18,880 --> 00:54:23,270
'And as it turned out, that
wasn't entirely accurate.'

945
00:54:25,080 --> 00:54:27,020
He's head-butting me!

946
00:54:30,840 --> 00:54:33,040
He head-butted your Datsun.

947
00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:38,990
'Meanwhile, back in the Bentley...'

948
00:54:40,760 --> 00:54:42,320
Jeremy!

949
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:46,390
'Clearly, things weren't going well,

950
00:54:46,440 --> 00:54:48,510
'so we made a decision.'

951
00:54:50,760 --> 00:54:53,470
I think there are too many for us.

952
00:54:53,520 --> 00:54:55,190
Well, yes.

953
00:54:55,240 --> 00:54:57,470
We need the cavalry.

954
00:54:57,520 --> 00:55:00,640
'And ten minutes later, it arrived.'

955
00:55:08,840 --> 00:55:10,750
Ho-ho-ho!

956
00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:13,430
One of the most dangerous
jobs in the world,

957
00:55:13,480 --> 00:55:16,720
flying the Robinson helicopters
to muster the cattle.

958
00:55:17,960 --> 00:55:21,190
On average, round about eight
are killed every year.

959
00:55:21,240 --> 00:55:25,920
Sometimes they will use the skids
to actually push the cows into line.

960
00:55:28,560 --> 00:55:33,600
'With the air cav as backup, we
started to get our act together.'

961
00:55:36,200 --> 00:55:39,430
Hammond, you're the rough
terrain response.

962
00:55:39,480 --> 00:55:41,550
And I'm the quick response.

963
00:55:41,600 --> 00:55:43,830
That's good, that's good.

964
00:55:43,880 --> 00:55:46,750
Channel 'em in, I'll
drive them forwards.

965
00:55:50,680 --> 00:55:53,190
Flanking, flanking.

966
00:55:53,240 --> 00:55:54,830
Go on, go left.

967
00:55:54,880 --> 00:55:57,150
♪ I was riding my horse... ♪

968
00:55:59,160 --> 00:56:00,760
Braking right.

969
00:56:01,760 --> 00:56:04,100
Good work, Hammond, good work.

970
00:56:05,600 --> 00:56:10,150
That Bentley going across that
field is a sight to behold.

971
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:12,540
Look at... Look at its wheels!

972
00:56:14,840 --> 00:56:17,190
'Soon, we realised something.'

973
00:56:17,240 --> 00:56:19,640
Ah, there you go. Look at that.

974
00:56:21,720 --> 00:56:26,110
'For once, Top Gear was being
ambitious and not rubbish.'

975
00:57:56,520 --> 00:58:00,030
~ All right, cowboy!
~ I feel pretty manly!

976
00:58:00,080 --> 00:58:02,480
I feel like one of those bulls.

977
00:58:07,560 --> 00:58:09,990
~ I loved that.
~ I thought that was fun.

978
00:58:10,040 --> 00:58:13,510
~ That was a lot of fun.
~ It was.
~ And these cars...

979
00:58:13,560 --> 00:58:16,430
~ better than horses.
~ And nobody fell off.
~ Much better.
~ Yeah.

980
00:58:16,480 --> 00:58:17,870
But can we just stop for a moment?

981
00:58:17,920 --> 00:58:21,670
The amazing thing - the cars survived
it. Nothing broke. All three.

982
00:58:21,720 --> 00:58:24,750
Fantastic. And if Nissan... well,
actually, or Bentley or BMW,

983
00:58:24,800 --> 00:58:28,150
if they made a laptop, I'd buy it.

984
00:58:28,200 --> 00:58:31,590
You could throw a Nissan laptop
in the lavatory, do a log on it...

985
00:58:32,880 --> 00:58:35,110
.. and you'd still be
able to log on on it.

986
00:58:35,160 --> 00:58:36,950
You would. Anyway...

987
00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:41,110
we must now decide which
of these cars is the best.

988
00:58:41,160 --> 00:58:43,470
Well, I'm not backing
down. It's the Bentley.

989
00:58:43,520 --> 00:58:46,390
I'm not backing down.
It is this Nissan.

990
00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:49,590
James, sorry, mate.
You are just wrong.

991
00:58:49,640 --> 00:58:52,710
The Nissan GT-R, it has a
whiff of the Nurburgring.

992
00:58:52,760 --> 00:58:56,030
It's not just a whiff of the
Nurburgring. It reeks of it!

993
00:58:56,080 --> 00:58:58,990
Your clothes will smell of it six
weeks after you've been in it.

994
00:58:59,040 --> 00:59:01,710
It's better than it smelling
of Ryan Giggs's bath water.

995
00:59:01,760 --> 00:59:04,510
Mate, it's a Bentley.

996
00:59:04,560 --> 00:59:07,430
~ Think what that means.
~ I'll tell you what it means, Hammond.

997
00:59:07,480 --> 00:59:12,630
It means it is £66,000
more expensive than this.

998
00:59:12,680 --> 00:59:15,910
Yes, because that's a Nissan!
That's a Bentley.

999
00:59:15,960 --> 00:59:18,910
Exactly. It's a Nissan. And when you
strip everything off this Nissan,

1000
00:59:18,960 --> 00:59:20,670
you find underneath a racing car.

1001
00:59:20,720 --> 00:59:23,150
When you strip all the
stuff off of that Bentley,

1002
00:59:23,200 --> 00:59:25,870
underneath it is a VW.

1003
00:59:25,920 --> 00:59:28,510
If we strip all the stuff off you,

1004
00:59:28,560 --> 00:59:30,870
we'd find underneath
the same basic skeleton

1005
00:59:30,920 --> 00:59:32,910
as you would find in a racing driver.

1006
00:59:32,960 --> 00:59:35,710
But when we put it all back on,
as we must, to make you James May,

1007
00:59:35,760 --> 00:59:37,950
you're James May! That's
the wrong car.

1008
00:59:38,000 --> 00:59:40,550
Yes, but, Hammond, if we stripped
everything off of you,

1009
00:59:40,600 --> 00:59:44,350
we'd find the same skeleton that you have
in a racing driver when he was a little boy!

1010
00:59:44,400 --> 00:59:47,550
But when you put it all back together,
you are still Richard Hammond.

1011
00:59:47,600 --> 00:59:52,390
You in that GT-R is like
you in those shoes.

1012
00:59:52,440 --> 00:59:53,550
Ridiculous!

1013
00:59:53,600 --> 00:59:58,710
Says the man in the jacket
woven out of 100% pure 1935.

1014
01:00:00,560 --> 01:00:03,790
That was designed very
specifically for a purpose -

1015
01:00:03,840 --> 01:00:06,070
to feel good on the ragged
edge of performance.

1016
01:00:06,120 --> 01:00:07,990
You're not going to do that.

1017
01:00:08,040 --> 01:00:09,910
You have a watch that
can go to the moon.

1018
01:00:09,960 --> 01:00:11,470
You're never going to go to the moon.

1019
01:00:11,520 --> 01:00:14,430
They don't make moon boots in your
size, but you like having that watch

1020
01:00:14,480 --> 01:00:16,670
because it means it is a good watch.

1021
01:00:16,720 --> 01:00:18,590
And it's the same with the car.

1022
01:00:18,640 --> 01:00:20,840
~ You're just being a
~ BLEEP.

1023
01:00:24,240 --> 01:00:25,710
Thank you.

1024
01:00:26,760 --> 01:00:29,670
~ And you've got a
~ BLEEP
~ like a
~ BLEEP BLEEP.

1025
01:00:29,720 --> 01:00:32,390
A baby one.

1026
01:00:32,440 --> 01:00:33,950
Gentlemen. Gentlemen, gentlemen,

1027
01:00:34,000 --> 01:00:36,430
I'm sorry, I'm going to have
to interrupt at this point,

1028
01:00:36,480 --> 01:00:37,870
because the fact of the matter is,

1029
01:00:37,920 --> 01:00:42,670
by any measurable means you choose,
the BMW is the best car.

1030
01:00:42,720 --> 01:00:45,230
~ But... Y...
~ But I wouldn't buy one.

1031
01:00:45,280 --> 01:00:46,310
Well, why?

1032
01:00:46,360 --> 01:00:50,350
Because fast, expensive BMWs plummet
in value as soon as you buy them.

1033
01:00:50,400 --> 01:00:51,670
You buy one of those,

1034
01:00:51,720 --> 01:00:54,830
within 18 months you are going
to lose £40,000, £45,000.

1035
01:00:54,880 --> 01:00:57,630
And as a Yorkshireman, I
just couldn't handle that.

1036
01:00:57,680 --> 01:01:01,590
~ I really couldn't.
~ That means you have to choose one of these.
~ I know.

1037
01:01:01,640 --> 01:01:04,910
I find myself now with
the casting vote.

1038
01:01:04,960 --> 01:01:08,510
Um, the problem I have is,
OK, I'm at the precise age

1039
01:01:08,560 --> 01:01:13,150
when I'm growing out of the
Nissan and into the Bentley.

1040
01:01:13,200 --> 01:01:16,390
~ That's the problem I've got.
~ And that is why you should have this.

1041
01:01:16,440 --> 01:01:21,550
The Nissan will help you rage
against the dying of the light.

1042
01:01:22,800 --> 01:01:25,190
Rather than any of that,
you can grow old gracefully

1043
01:01:25,240 --> 01:01:27,710
and in comfort in the Bentley,
which is a great place to be.

1044
01:01:27,760 --> 01:01:29,310
It's got quilted leather in there.

1045
01:01:29,360 --> 01:01:32,150
Hammond, quilted leather is what
an incontinence sheet looks like

1046
01:01:32,200 --> 01:01:35,390
if you look at it under a microscope!

1047
01:01:35,440 --> 01:01:39,710
I have made up my mind. Right
now, I've made up my mind.

1048
01:01:39,760 --> 01:01:42,190
I'm going to ditch my Yorkshireness,

1049
01:01:42,240 --> 01:01:43,710
not care about the depreciation,

1050
01:01:43,760 --> 01:01:45,560
go for the Beemer.

1051
01:01:47,720 --> 01:01:50,150
~ You never chose...
~ The thing is...

1052
01:01:50,200 --> 01:01:52,310
~ You never will.
~ .. it's breathtaking, that car.

1053
01:01:52,360 --> 01:01:55,550
~ All right.
~ And on that bombshell, it's time to end.

1054
01:01:55,600 --> 01:01:58,430
Thank you so much for watching.
See you next week. Good night!