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Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
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Hello and welcome to the eleventh
Top Gear Special, which for once
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is actually being transmitted quite
close to the birthday of baby Jesus.
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Unless you're watching a repeat.
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Yes, James. Unless you're watching a repeat.
Well, it's quite confusing... Anyway.
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2014 marked the 60th
anniversary of the cheap-to-make,
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maximum-bangs-for-your-bucks
small block V8.
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And the producers thought it would
be a good idea for us
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to celebrate the moment.
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Yes, especially since,
as a lot of people are saying,
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owing to environmentalism,
the need for greater fuel economy,
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the V8 could soon be
a thing of the past.
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Quite, so the producers told us
to buy three old V8-powered cars and
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report with them to a hotel near the
town of Bariloche here
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in Argentina.
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Shop this show's fashion on LookLive.com
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This was the meeting point,
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in the middle of what's
billed at Argentina's Lake District.
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And I was the first to arrive
in a magnificent Porsche 928 GT.
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That is quite a view
and this is quite a car.
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I have always loved 928s, cos
they were just so futuristic.
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I mean this car is 23 years old
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and it looks like it was
designed yesterday.
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And it was the last good-looking car
that Porsche ever made.
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And, although it's a V8, it's quiet
and dignified and elegant.
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If this were a person, it would go
to embassy cocktail parties
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and know many things.
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Traditional V8s would push
you in the swimming pool
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and then fart
and think it was funny.
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Traditional V8s -
well, like this, for example -
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they're brash and they're loud
and they're childish.
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What have you done, Hammond?
Oh, yeah! There it is -
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not just A V8 -
the definitive V8.
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Is it? Ford Mustang, the Mach One.
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Look at it.
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It's a bit... It's brilliant.
..unnecessary.
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No, it's not...
That's the whole point of it.
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It's stripped down. Everything
on it is functional, purpose...
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Is it? Yes. This rear spoiler -
what does it do? Nothing.
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Does the front splitter do anything?
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No. Racing fuel filler cap?
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No, it's just a cover.
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Is the engine 19 feet long?
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No, no, it's not.
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Why then has it got
a 19-foot bonnet?
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Well, because they decided
they wanted to make the Mustang
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bigger in '71, so they did and they
did that by...just making it bigger.
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This is all just pointless?
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No, it's bigger.
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And that is the ram air, and that's
a Edelbrock carb underneath it,
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the plenum there, it all go...
It works.
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I mean, if I were nine, it would
be tremendous, but I'm not.
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I mean, it's all just preposterous.
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It's brilliant is what it is!
It's the essence of V8ness.
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Shall we just turn our attention
now to the elephant that
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ISN'T in the room. Uh, yeah.
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Captain Lost. What do you
think the...?
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I don't know, I've been thinking,
I don't know.
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Had to be a V8,
so I thought it'll be a Mercedes.
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He'll have gone,
like he did in Botswana, solid.
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Er, I thought, I reckon he's
gone for Range Rover.
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In fact we couldn't have
been more wrong.
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No way! That is not him!
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Not serious!
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He's gone completely mad!
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I bet he thinks he's Bond.
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He does think he's Bond. Don't say
anything about his suit. No.
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Hi.
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Gentlemen. The Lotus Esprit.
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Isn't it?
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Twin turbo V8.
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Have you been
on a Top Gear Special before?
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I've seen you on them. Yes.
You have, I've seen you there.
Yes, I have, I have.
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James, they're tough. Yeah.
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Some viewers don't know this
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but Lotus does not have a
good reputation for quality.
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Some say that this stands for
Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.
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It has a hand-built
V8 engine with two turbo chargers
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designed by a specialist small
British car-making company.
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And that is a byword for
reliability and motoring pleasure.
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We know that.
It's just not, and you know that.
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Can we just run through some of the
detailing on it? Carry on.
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The door handles on this
model are from a Vauxhall Cavalier.
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Correct.
Door mirrors are from a Citroen.
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Don't touch it.
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Uh, the gearbox in this
is from a Renault 25. Correct.
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Because that was the best gearbox
they could find?
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Or the only one that would fit?
It was the only one that would fit.
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And of course the body is
made from exactly the same
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material as a lavatory seat.
Or a bucket.
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Anyway, have you finished being
envious of my car?
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If I can move on, the Porsche 928.
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Yes. Fascinating. Hammond!
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Wowzers! I do like that,
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in a slightly Richard Hammondy
sort of way. Is that a Mach One?
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It certainly is.
Ho-ho-ho-ho! Yeah, yeah.
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Look at that. Tell me that isn't
magnificent... ..ly boring.
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It isn't.
I'm glad it's grey, though. Why?
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Well, because it's very
businesslike.
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You can advise me on
my mortgage later on.
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I am, as always, the voice of reason
and wisdom on this programme.
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We could have bickered forever but
at this point our challenge arrived.
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"You will now drive 130 miles to the
house where Butch Cassidy lived
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"when he was on the run
from the law."
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130 miles? Hang on - that's it?
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That's somewhere interesting.
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I thought there was going to be
another, you know... there's usually
the other paragraph.
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To where Butch Cassidy lived?
I'd love to go there.
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I love Butch Cassidy and my favourite film
in the entire world is Butch Cassidy.
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And all I've got to do is drive
a Porsche 928
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130 miles to get there on roads.
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Try saying it this way - all he's got to
do is drive a Lotus Esprit 130 miles.
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I can see now where they're
going with this.
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Oh, yeah, yeah.
They've tailored it for you.
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Amazed at the apparent easiness
of our challenge,
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we fired up the V8s..
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..and plunged into the magnificence
of Argentina's heartland.
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The roads are lovely. Proper roads,
paved, very pretty.
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I think the producers have lost it.
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I'd turn over if I were you.
I wouldn't watch this.
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Three comfortable middle-aged men
driving lovely cars.
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That's not...that's not really
very good television.
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So the situation report,
I have 128 miles to go
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but everything's working.
Er, the road is very nice.
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Uh...phew! We're going to have to
spin this out a bit.
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To do just that, we decided to
talk about our cars.
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This particular Mustang
came along at a really critical
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time for the V8,
because this was 1971.
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In 1972, America started introducing
all sorts of restrictions
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because of emissions and fuel,
and they strangled them.
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So many people regard '71 as the
last proper year of the full-on,
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full-bore, full-raw V8.
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Hammond and Clarkson are absolutely
right, the Lotus is a risk.
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Of course the Porsche will work -
it was made by Porsche.
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They're more German than
normal Germans
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when it comes to doing things
properly. They're brilliant at it.
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But it's a bit safe, it's a
bit grey, it's a bit businesslike.
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The Mustang will work, because it's
just a piece of American clog iron.
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It's low stress,
designed to run all day.
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This? Yes, this came from Norfolk
and this was built by blokes.
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Of course it's fragile
but that's what makes it interesting
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AND it's the best-looking and it's
the fastest and it's the reddest.
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I know Hammond and May
think my 928 Porsche is a bit dull
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but for one very good reason,
it isn't dull to me.
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You see, back in 1994, I was
living in London,
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I got a call one evening from my mum
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to say that my dad was desperately
ill in a hospital in Sheffield
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and I needed to get
there as quickly as possible.
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And I'd just taken a chicken
out of the oven and I thought,
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"Well, I'll take that for my mum,
cos she won't have eaten",
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ran outside and I had a 928 on test
that week.
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And when I arrived in Sheffield,
the chicken was still warm
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and my dad was still alive.
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In fact he died half an hour later.
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And the truth is, if I hadn't
been driving a car which
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could sit quite happily at 170 miles
an hour,
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I wouldn't have had the opportunity
to say goodbye to my dad.
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So as far as I'm concerned
the 928...is all right.
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Soon we arrived at a rather
Germanic-looking town.
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This town that we're in now
is called Bariloche
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and there really is no nice
way of putting this -
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it became a haven for Nazi
war criminals.
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Between 1946 - a critical date -
and 1952,
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12,000 Germans came to live
in this neck of the woods.
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The man who founded
the Hitler Youth,
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he started the ski club in the town.
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Adolf Eichmann lived here. Josef
Mengele took his driving test here.
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Failed, apparently.
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Yes, it's a sombre topic
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but fortunately Hammond's enlivened
it with his La Cucaracha horn.
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Once out of Berlineloche,
the roads opened up
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and Hammond could discover the joys
of his muscle car at full chat.
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Big speed now and I'll be honest,
it is quite alarming,
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this steering is...
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There's a lot of play and er,
it's kind of vague - yeah.
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00:11:12,975 --> 00:11:16,983
Meanwhile, James and I have become
entangled in a bit of a dogfight.
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Target locked.
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I've got him.
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No! Ha-ha!
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Sod it!
I've caught him napping.
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You have sown the wind
and you shall reap the whirlwind.
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Here we go, here we go, here we go.
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00:11:40,979 --> 00:11:43,051
No, no, no, no, no, no!
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Yes. Take that.
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00:11:47,063 --> 00:11:48,999
Urgh!
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00:11:51,979 --> 00:11:54,023
Look, he's just roaring off!
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00:11:54,023 --> 00:11:57,011
I've got a five-litre engine here.
James only has three and a half.
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Mind you, with two turbos.
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00:12:00,979 --> 00:12:04,007
No sign of Hammond, strangely,
with his massive 5.8-litre V8.
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00:12:06,971 --> 00:12:09,975
Oh-ho! Oh!
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00:12:09,975 --> 00:12:12,979
Those two are clearly
enjoying a bit of a joust.
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00:12:12,979 --> 00:12:15,995
Jeremy's Porsche's got passive
rear-wheel steering.
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They've both got proper suspension.
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00:12:17,059 --> 00:12:22,027
I haven't got any of those things
on my Mustang so I'm going to stay
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00:12:22,027 --> 00:12:25,999
out of it and do a lot of steering,
just to go in a straight line.
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There was another problem with the
Mustang - it was extremely thirsty.
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00:12:33,991 --> 00:12:37,987
And soon Hammond needed to
stop for fuel.
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00:12:37,987 --> 00:12:39,067
As May
and I waited in the coffee shop...
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00:12:39,067 --> 00:12:43,011
I enjoy the things that made Lotus
famous, like steering feel, performance...
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Hammond filled up but from where
we were sitting, it didn't
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00:12:46,983 --> 00:12:50,019
look like he was doing that at all.
..not metal.
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Sorry to interrupt but I think
Hammond really loves that Mustang.
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00:13:02,995 --> 00:13:04,015
What is he doing?
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00:13:08,987 --> 00:13:11,987
With the muscle car fed,
it looked like we were going to
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00:13:11,987 --> 00:13:15,027
complete our simple 130-mile
challenge.
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00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:20,039
Yeah.
207
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But then...
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What's... Ooh!
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That is smoking. He's smoking.
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Hammond, you're smoking,
you're smoking badly.
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Oh, sh... (BLEEP).
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I'm stopping.
I'm stopping. I've lost steering. Oh!
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One and a half miles from Butch...
One and a half miles.
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00:13:38,991 --> 00:13:43,051
..Butch Cassidy's house.
Just talk me through it.
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00:13:43,051 --> 00:13:47,031
Power steering,
thrown all its oil out, fluid.
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00:13:47,031 --> 00:13:53,979
That's what was making the smoke, it
was burning off on the manifold...
I'm not interested.
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00:13:53,979 --> 00:13:56,971
One and a half miles!
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00:14:00,011 --> 00:14:03,971
Yeah, that's
the dipstick for the fluid.
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00:14:03,971 --> 00:14:06,023
And it's completely empty.
It's all come out.
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There it is!
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Oh, my God! I'm going to stay here,
where Butch lived.
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I know that film off by heart.
I know all the lines.
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Would you like to hear some?
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00:14:38,035 --> 00:14:40,031
No.
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00:14:40,031 --> 00:14:43,043
The film said it was Bolivia
and he did actually die in Bolivia
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00:14:43,043 --> 00:14:47,007
but they found him here and he ran
and got away with it again.
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Right.
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00:14:48,027 --> 00:14:50,035
I don't care that it's not
luxurious.
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00:14:50,035 --> 00:14:55,995
I've got my own pillow and
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.
230
00:14:58,027 --> 00:15:01,975
He probably built that door.
231
00:15:03,059 --> 00:15:05,059
Over an early evening drink,
232
00:15:05,059 --> 00:15:09,067
Jeremy was STILL
going on about his favourite topic.
233
00:15:09,067 --> 00:15:12,043
Don't you watch it every week?
No. I do.
234
00:15:12,043 --> 00:15:15,971
Battle of Britain's top five
but Butch Cassidy's number one,
235
00:15:15,971 --> 00:15:17,027
Local Hero number two.
236
00:15:17,027 --> 00:15:18,995
What about Where Eagles Dare,
though?
237
00:15:18,995 --> 00:15:21,035
No, not top five. No?
Not as good as Battle of Britain.
238
00:15:21,035 --> 00:15:24,003
It's not as good as, but nothing's
as good as Battle of Britain.
239
00:15:24,003 --> 00:15:27,059
And neither of them are as good as
Butch Cassidy and the Sun... Oh, look who's here.
240
00:15:27,059 --> 00:15:32,983
That's better.
He's pushing it. No, no, no, no, no.
241
00:15:32,983 --> 00:15:34,051
Don't, er...
242
00:15:34,051 --> 00:15:37,987
Norman Wisdom, ladies and gentlemen,
has arrived.
243
00:15:37,987 --> 00:15:40,067
Now he's stuck, you know.
244
00:15:40,067 --> 00:15:43,015
Oh, it's run over him,
everybody, I'm sorry.
245
00:15:44,023 --> 00:15:45,063
Oh, sh... (BLEEP).
246
00:15:45,063 --> 00:15:49,975
Yeah, all r...the producers say they'll
count that as if you've made it.
247
00:15:49,975 --> 00:15:51,979
Yeah, you're in the same field.
248
00:15:51,979 --> 00:15:53,999
Well done, mate. Yeah.
249
00:15:53,999 --> 00:15:56,063
Look where you are -
Butch Cassidy's actual house.
250
00:15:56,063 --> 00:15:58,031
That is it, genuinely for real?
251
00:15:58,031 --> 00:16:01,023
Yeah - do you live in something like
that in Wales? Pretty much, yeah.
252
00:16:01,023 --> 00:16:04,051
Oh, wait a minute. What? What?
253
00:16:04,051 --> 00:16:07,975
What? We've done it. We're here.
Come on. I'm nearly here, look.
254
00:16:07,975 --> 00:16:09,015
Wait a minute.
255
00:16:09,015 --> 00:16:11,059
Well...
256
00:16:11,059 --> 00:16:13,995
They've crossed out the one
they gave us this morning
257
00:16:13,995 --> 00:16:16,003
and written another one in felt tip.
258
00:16:16,003 --> 00:16:20,007
"You haven't finished yet.
More news in the morning."
259
00:16:20,007 --> 00:16:21,983
We haven't finished?
260
00:16:21,983 --> 00:16:23,983
More news?
261
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:27,023
They've obviously realised that they
haven't filled two hours.
262
00:16:39,051 --> 00:16:40,055
Your soft...
263
00:16:43,007 --> 00:16:46,027
..white...
264
00:16:46,027 --> 00:16:49,015
..flesh.
265
00:16:49,015 --> 00:16:51,031
Mine, all mine!
266
00:17:00,987 --> 00:17:05,971
Basically, I AM Paul Newman -
same colour eyes, middle aged.
267
00:17:05,971 --> 00:17:07,051
I like being this.
268
00:17:10,027 --> 00:17:13,975
What are you doing?
It's a scene from Butch Cassidy.
269
00:17:13,975 --> 00:17:16,027
Yeah, I know that bit
but that's not a bicycle,
270
00:17:16,027 --> 00:17:19,063
he's really not Katharine Ross
and I'm a rubbish shot.
271
00:17:19,063 --> 00:17:22,975
I don't...I'm just having...
we're at Butch Cassidy's house.
272
00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:28,023
Oh, this is it.
Thank you, this is the challenge.
273
00:17:28,023 --> 00:17:30,015
Go on.
274
00:17:30,015 --> 00:17:34,971
"You will now drive to Ushuaia
in Tierra del Fuego.
275
00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:38,019
"It's the southernmost city in
the world, the gateway to Antarctica
276
00:17:38,019 --> 00:17:44,011
"and the last outpost of
civilisation in the southern hemisphere.
277
00:17:44,011 --> 00:17:48,007
"It was also the port from with
the Belgrano, the battleship,
278
00:17:48,007 --> 00:17:53,047
"sailed on its fateful voyage
and the start of the Falklands War.
279
00:17:53,047 --> 00:17:57,975
"As a result, anti-British
feelings run high there.
280
00:17:57,975 --> 00:18:01,995
"So you will use your diplomatic
skills to build bridges."
281
00:18:01,995 --> 00:18:04,047
We don't have any diplomatic skills.
282
00:18:04,047 --> 00:18:07,007
No, but we're good at building
bridges. We can do that.
283
00:18:07,007 --> 00:18:08,067
No, it's a figure of speech.
284
00:18:08,067 --> 00:18:11,031
It doesn't literally mean
build a bridge.
285
00:18:11,031 --> 00:18:12,063
Absolutely not. It says,
286
00:18:12,063 --> 00:18:16,027
"When you arrive in Ushuaia,
you must build a football stadium
287
00:18:16,027 --> 00:18:20,055
"and host a game of car football
against a team from Argentina."
288
00:18:20,055 --> 00:18:23,039
Really? So we're using our cars
in car football?
289
00:18:23,039 --> 00:18:25,039
Mine's a bit big.
290
00:18:25,039 --> 00:18:29,015
Against a team, right...
In Tierra del Fuego?
291
00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:32,011
How far is it?
292
00:18:32,011 --> 00:18:33,031
How far is it?
293
00:18:33,031 --> 00:18:34,979
1,600 miles.
294
00:18:34,979 --> 00:18:37,067
One thousand six hundred miles?
295
00:18:39,007 --> 00:18:42,055
In a Lotus?
296
00:18:44,047 --> 00:18:47,003
On the way to the tip
of South America,
297
00:18:47,003 --> 00:18:51,991
our brittle, ageing,
complicated cars would face deserts,
298
00:18:51,991 --> 00:18:53,995
blizzards,
299
00:18:53,995 --> 00:18:56,995
snowdrifts, mud,
300
00:18:56,995 --> 00:18:58,983
swamps,
301
00:18:58,983 --> 00:19:02,007
gruelling mountain tracks
and jagged coastlines.
302
00:19:03,043 --> 00:19:05,011
It would be an epic journey.
303
00:19:06,055 --> 00:19:08,007
But before it could begin,
304
00:19:08,007 --> 00:19:11,971
Hammond had to mend his Mustang's
power steering,
305
00:19:11,971 --> 00:19:13,995
which meant I had time to kill.
306
00:19:18,975 --> 00:19:22,975
# Raindrops keep falling on my head
307
00:19:22,975 --> 00:19:28,063
# And just like a guy whose
feet are too big for his bed
308
00:19:28,063 --> 00:19:32,047
# Nothing seems to fit
those raindrops... #
309
00:19:32,047 --> 00:19:34,971
Is he still doing it? Mhm.
310
00:19:34,971 --> 00:19:36,971
OK. It won't have it.
311
00:19:38,975 --> 00:19:40,991
Actually, I do remember this
bit in the film,
312
00:19:40,991 --> 00:19:43,983
because Paul Newman rides around on
the bicycle, doesn't he? Yeah.
313
00:19:43,983 --> 00:19:46,995
And then Katharine Ross does
a little playful "ha-ha-ha!" giggle
314
00:19:46,995 --> 00:19:50,003
and throws some straw in his face.
Yeah. Is that right? Yeah. Yeah.
315
00:19:50,003 --> 00:19:56,971
# Those raindrops are falling
on my head, they keep falling
316
00:19:56,971 --> 00:19:59,031
# Because I'm free... #
317
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:02,031
Ow!
318
00:20:02,031 --> 00:20:05,067
After we'd dealt with Jeremy
and bodged the power steering,
319
00:20:05,067 --> 00:20:07,059
we headed south.
320
00:20:14,055 --> 00:20:19,031
Is the Lotus Esprit V8 a good
choice for a 1,600-mile drive
321
00:20:19,031 --> 00:20:21,003
through Patagonia?
322
00:20:21,003 --> 00:20:22,023
In all honesty, no.
323
00:20:23,987 --> 00:20:26,991
But - and the question I'm asking
myself, viewers is -
324
00:20:26,991 --> 00:20:29,015
will Hammond's Mustang make it?
325
00:20:29,015 --> 00:20:31,991
And I can't really explain this
but when I stand near an old car,
326
00:20:31,991 --> 00:20:34,035
I get a feeling
when I know it's a good one,
327
00:20:34,035 --> 00:20:37,055
and I'm not getting that feeling
with Hammond's Mustang.
328
00:20:37,055 --> 00:20:39,035
It feels like it's hanging on.
329
00:20:39,035 --> 00:20:41,067
Oh, no!
My seat belt's fallen apart again.
330
00:20:47,971 --> 00:20:51,043
To reach our destination,
we decided to head into Chile
331
00:20:51,043 --> 00:20:55,983
and pick up the important-sounding
Road To The South.
332
00:20:55,983 --> 00:20:57,047
This meant crossing the Andes,
333
00:20:57,047 --> 00:21:02,003
and as that sounded complicated,
I put myself in charge.
334
00:21:02,003 --> 00:21:05,015
Well, it strikes me that if we've
got to cross the Andes,
335
00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:08,023
we should do that here
rather than further south,
336
00:21:08,023 --> 00:21:10,023
cos there'll be less snow here.
337
00:21:10,023 --> 00:21:13,039
Right, that's a better idea, is it?
338
00:21:13,039 --> 00:21:16,051
It's a brilliant idea so we shall...
We'll cross them up here.
339
00:21:20,063 --> 00:21:22,063
At first, my plan went well.
340
00:21:30,991 --> 00:21:35,987
This road is simply mesmerizing.
341
00:21:41,055 --> 00:21:47,011
We even found a way to amuse ourselves
during the Mustang's endless fuel stops.
342
00:21:55,063 --> 00:21:59,995
Look at this face.
343
00:21:59,995 --> 00:22:02,063
# Let's get it on
344
00:22:02,063 --> 00:22:04,067
# Let's love, baby
345
00:22:06,007 --> 00:22:11,007
# Let's get it on
Sugar
346
00:22:11,007 --> 00:22:16,011
# Let's get it on. #
347
00:22:17,995 --> 00:22:22,055
After we set off we discovered why
we kept having to stop.
348
00:22:22,055 --> 00:22:25,003
Hammond! What?
349
00:22:25,003 --> 00:22:26,987
Just put your foot down hard.
350
00:22:28,067 --> 00:22:32,979
Yeah, I think I know why your fuel
consumption's quite poor.
351
00:22:36,995 --> 00:22:40,027
Map of the Falkland Islands with
"Argentina's forever."
352
00:22:42,051 --> 00:22:47,039
That is a straight face
I'm pulling right now, straight.
353
00:22:47,039 --> 00:22:50,055
I will not spark fury on this trip.
354
00:22:50,055 --> 00:22:53,019
This is the new me,
the smart me, the clever me.
355
00:22:56,059 --> 00:22:59,979
Soon, the road I'd chosen
got a bit worse.
356
00:23:02,975 --> 00:23:04,983
BLEEP.
357
00:23:05,999 --> 00:23:08,983
Oh, oh, oh.
358
00:23:10,055 --> 00:23:12,047
Ah, God!
359
00:23:12,047 --> 00:23:16,015
Oi, Clarkson, are you telling me
that if you drive from Argentina to Chile
360
00:23:16,015 --> 00:23:18,039
this is the main road?
Cos I don't believe it.
361
00:23:18,039 --> 00:23:20,991
ON RADIO: Yes, it is.
362
00:23:20,991 --> 00:23:22,975
Just goes to show, doesn't it,
really,
363
00:23:22,975 --> 00:23:25,015
about how brilliant cars are,
because...
364
00:23:35,971 --> 00:23:38,043
And then the road disappeared
altogether.
365
00:23:41,987 --> 00:23:43,015
Oh, Lord.
366
00:23:45,999 --> 00:23:48,983
Which wasn't ideal
in cars like these.
367
00:23:51,007 --> 00:23:52,063
James, we're the idiots,
368
00:23:52,063 --> 00:23:56,039
we listened to him
with a suggestion for a route.
369
00:23:56,039 --> 00:23:58,047
Relax, we're nearly there now.
370
00:24:03,067 --> 00:24:07,011
Ow. Ow.
371
00:24:07,011 --> 00:24:09,979
Oh! Bad noises!
372
00:24:11,999 --> 00:24:14,975
I don't know what's best - keep
going on Clarkson's stupid route,
373
00:24:14,975 --> 00:24:16,063
turn round and go back
and find another one.
374
00:24:19,003 --> 00:24:22,039
Oh! Oh!
375
00:24:22,039 --> 00:24:24,011
Oh, dear.
376
00:24:31,011 --> 00:24:33,019
BLEEP.
377
00:24:33,019 --> 00:24:36,063
Oh, bloody hell.
Cocking Nora!
378
00:24:41,067 --> 00:24:43,059
How can you not like this road?
379
00:24:43,059 --> 00:24:45,055
Go away. It's brilliant.
380
00:24:47,067 --> 00:24:50,047
And then, inevitably...
381
00:24:50,047 --> 00:24:53,043
Oh! Oh, I've lost steering.
382
00:24:58,007 --> 00:24:59,999
Having rescued James...
383
00:25:01,067 --> 00:25:03,043
Ya-hey!
384
00:25:03,043 --> 00:25:05,059
..we decided to leave Hammond,
385
00:25:05,059 --> 00:25:09,975
and though we were soon out the
woods, we weren't out of the woods.
386
00:25:10,999 --> 00:25:12,015
Oh, my...
387
00:25:13,035 --> 00:25:17,019
Come on, don't let me down now,
little Porsche.
388
00:25:23,051 --> 00:25:26,055
Here, the Lotus was way
out of its comfort zone.
389
00:25:30,043 --> 00:25:31,975
Ah!
390
00:25:33,059 --> 00:25:36,043
But, amazingly, it made it.
391
00:25:38,055 --> 00:25:42,019
I am absolutely staggered that Lotus
is still working.
392
00:25:42,019 --> 00:25:44,995
Absolutely, properly staggered.
393
00:25:47,019 --> 00:25:51,067
Well, yeah, I'd love to be able to
say that was great fun...
394
00:25:54,995 --> 00:25:59,003
Shortly afterwards, James and I
arrived at the Chilean border.
395
00:25:59,003 --> 00:26:02,031
I knew my route across the Andes
would be good, and it is.
396
00:26:04,015 --> 00:26:09,007
And having bodged the bodge on his
steering, Hammond, too, was on the move.
397
00:26:09,007 --> 00:26:13,011
But other gremlins were
starting to appear.
398
00:26:13,011 --> 00:26:15,019
Oh, my God. I've lost third gear.
399
00:26:17,031 --> 00:26:20,035
So, as he caught 40 winks
at the border post,
400
00:26:20,035 --> 00:26:23,007
May and I decided to cheer him up.
401
00:26:23,007 --> 00:26:26,031
Don't pull any more
backing off yet.
402
00:26:39,007 --> 00:26:41,999
What? Why...? Why have you
put that on my car?
403
00:26:45,067 --> 00:26:48,971
In Chile, Hammond was not
impressed with our efforts.
404
00:26:49,999 --> 00:26:52,035
How's your Peugeot, Hammond?
405
00:26:52,035 --> 00:26:54,011
Shut up.
406
00:26:54,011 --> 00:26:58,007
I've basically put Peugeot stickers
on it to try and make it more reliable.
407
00:26:58,007 --> 00:27:00,031
Sadly, though, that didn't work.
408
00:27:01,035 --> 00:27:02,063
Oh, no. Oh, no.
409
00:27:02,063 --> 00:27:07,007
I hate to say this -
I've lost power steering again.
410
00:27:07,007 --> 00:27:09,047
THEY LAUGH
411
00:27:10,995 --> 00:27:15,007
Leaving Hammond once more, James
and I decided to enjoy a road
412
00:27:15,007 --> 00:27:20,999
that could have been purpose built for
our finely-turned European thoroughbreds.
413
00:27:25,987 --> 00:27:29,011
Oh, wow!
The feel through the steering, here.
414
00:27:32,063 --> 00:27:36,047
Into the corner, feel the front,
shoving its shoulder into the job.
415
00:27:37,971 --> 00:27:40,995
We forget these days how good
cars used to be.
416
00:27:40,995 --> 00:27:44,007
Not at safety, not at fuel economy,
not at emissions,
417
00:27:44,007 --> 00:27:47,063
just joy, just handling.
418
00:27:49,067 --> 00:27:51,999
I'm absolutely confident
I am now having a better time
419
00:27:51,999 --> 00:27:55,995
because I'm in the car designed
for this sort of thing. It's mid-engined.
420
00:27:55,995 --> 00:27:59,023
And, of course, if you have a
mid-engined car, it looks cool.
421
00:28:03,015 --> 00:28:05,043
Oh, BLEEP!
422
00:28:08,011 --> 00:28:09,047
Jesus wept!
423
00:28:09,047 --> 00:28:11,059
Yes.
424
00:28:11,059 --> 00:28:15,063
What I was just demonstrating
there was the other side of
the mid-engined argument,
425
00:28:15,063 --> 00:28:18,991
which is, when it does go it,
it goes a bit more quickly.
426
00:28:18,991 --> 00:28:22,027
He'll now be sitting up to here
in his own excrement.
427
00:28:25,043 --> 00:28:27,051
Despite this, though, we pressed on,
428
00:28:27,051 --> 00:28:32,971
savouring the whole point
of our being here - our engines.
429
00:28:32,971 --> 00:28:35,047
Listen to that, the grumble
of an offbeat V8.
430
00:28:40,971 --> 00:28:43,979
I'll knock it down to second
so you can hear the proper roar.
431
00:28:43,979 --> 00:28:45,051
Listen to that.
432
00:28:51,987 --> 00:28:58,007
In the next town, we pulled over
for a nerdy chat about what makes
a V8 so special.
433
00:28:58,007 --> 00:29:02,995
It is a charismatic engine,
that's why we like V8s, is cos
they are imperfect.
434
00:29:02,995 --> 00:29:03,999
Yes, very.
435
00:29:03,999 --> 00:29:07,991
Unlike a straight six engine, where
you've got six cylinders in line,
436
00:29:07,991 --> 00:29:11,971
in one of those, when one piston's
going down another one's coming up,
437
00:29:11,971 --> 00:29:14,987
so it sort of balances
itself and makes it smooth. Yes.
438
00:29:14,987 --> 00:29:18,031
A V8 is inherently unbalanced,
because when one piston's going down,
439
00:29:18,031 --> 00:29:21,011
there isn't necessarily
another one going up to balance it.
440
00:29:21,011 --> 00:29:24,043
Exactly, and they're not going in
the same direction, are they, cos...
441
00:29:24,043 --> 00:29:29,055
Yeah, exactly, so they're sort of doing that.
So that's what makes a V8 wobbly.
442
00:29:29,055 --> 00:29:33,039
It is, it's inherently wobbly.
And charismatic. Yes.
443
00:29:33,039 --> 00:29:36,007
But the V8 in your car
isn't the same, is it?
444
00:29:36,007 --> 00:29:39,975
Because, and I never thought
I would use these words on Top Gear,
445
00:29:39,975 --> 00:29:42,047
it has a flat plane crank.
446
00:29:42,047 --> 00:29:44,027
Very good. Exactly.
447
00:29:44,027 --> 00:29:46,995
In yours,
the engine cylinders they go...
448
00:29:48,035 --> 00:29:51,991
..so you get two firing
on the same side. Mine just goes...
449
00:29:51,991 --> 00:29:57,031
So, yours is like Charlie Watts,
and the other V8, mine,
450
00:29:57,031 --> 00:30:00,031
is more Keith Moon.
There's a bit more going on.
451
00:30:00,031 --> 00:30:02,027
Yes, and that's what makes
the difference.
452
00:30:02,027 --> 00:30:05,019
That's why traditional V8s -
i.e., the American style V8,
453
00:30:05,019 --> 00:30:08,019
which is sort of what yours is,
they burble, but mine snarls.
454
00:30:08,019 --> 00:30:12,043
Our colleague then turned up having
bodged the bodge of his bodge.
455
00:30:17,991 --> 00:30:21,023
Fixed? Yeah.
Right, let's go!
456
00:30:21,023 --> 00:30:25,047
Coffee good? Yeah, it was lovely.
It was delicious. Good!
457
00:30:28,007 --> 00:30:31,003
Jeremy Clarkson, James May.
458
00:30:31,003 --> 00:30:32,067
Yes, what's wrong?
459
00:30:32,067 --> 00:30:36,019
Uh, I was just thinking of
remortgaging my house and wondering
460
00:30:36,019 --> 00:30:39,999
if I should go for a fixed rate or
a flexible policy, what do you think?
461
00:30:39,999 --> 00:30:45,043
As you well know, businessmen
do not drive cars of this nature,
462
00:30:45,043 --> 00:30:48,035
how was the turnip harvest
last year?
463
00:30:48,035 --> 00:30:51,019
It's all very well being rude
about the people of Norfolk,
464
00:30:51,019 --> 00:30:53,047
but so far they seem to have
built the best car.
465
00:30:53,047 --> 00:30:57,067
It hasn't gone wrong, it goes off road and
it saved me when I made a cock-up.
466
00:30:59,007 --> 00:31:05,031
We continued on Jeremy's idiotic
route until we reached this.
467
00:31:05,031 --> 00:31:07,047
Oh, my God!
468
00:31:08,975 --> 00:31:10,971
Is this for cars?
469
00:31:10,971 --> 00:31:14,011
Well, get out and have a jump on it,
James, and go to see if it is.
470
00:31:14,011 --> 00:31:17,051
OK, that will tell us
everything we need to know, hang on.
471
00:31:18,063 --> 00:31:21,039
Oh, my God! No, James that is...
Oh, hang on a minute!
472
00:31:21,039 --> 00:31:25,039
Oh, it's wobbly!
I mean, look!
473
00:31:25,039 --> 00:31:26,995
It's rubbish.
474
00:31:26,995 --> 00:31:28,979
That is not...
475
00:31:28,979 --> 00:31:30,019
It's a footbridge.
476
00:31:30,019 --> 00:31:33,047
We either admit defeat
and end the programme here.
477
00:31:33,047 --> 00:31:35,019
Well, I'm for ending. Goodbye.
478
00:31:35,019 --> 00:31:36,987
And on that bombshell...!
479
00:31:37,987 --> 00:31:38,995
Come on!
480
00:31:40,971 --> 00:31:44,003
Since James was on point,
he went first.
481
00:31:45,023 --> 00:31:46,975
Here we go.
482
00:31:48,015 --> 00:31:51,067
Oh, God it's sagging!
It moves! Oh!
483
00:31:51,067 --> 00:31:54,995
Not looking, not looking,
not looking, not looking.
484
00:31:54,995 --> 00:31:57,059
God, that's really disconcerting!
485
00:31:59,027 --> 00:32:01,047
How am I doing, how am I doing?
486
00:32:06,027 --> 00:32:09,051
Right, here we go. Speed!
487
00:32:13,023 --> 00:32:15,999
Yeah! Speed has solved the problem.
488
00:32:17,047 --> 00:32:19,051
What the hell?
489
00:32:24,023 --> 00:32:26,023
It's a dead end. I know.
490
00:32:26,023 --> 00:32:27,063
Well, why didn't you tell me?
491
00:32:27,063 --> 00:32:29,059
Cos I wanted to see you
come across the bridge.
492
00:32:33,987 --> 00:32:36,059
I know what you're thinking.
Shall we?
493
00:32:36,059 --> 00:32:37,999
Right, come on Hammond!
494
00:32:40,007 --> 00:32:42,027
My car's the heaviest. Enough said.
495
00:32:45,059 --> 00:32:48,983
No seatbelt, don't want to be
stuck in it, if it falls off.
496
00:32:56,011 --> 00:32:57,039
Oh!
497
00:32:59,027 --> 00:33:00,971
Oh!
498
00:33:02,043 --> 00:33:04,055
I don't like it, I don't like it.
499
00:33:04,055 --> 00:33:07,023
it feels like I'm running away
from a disaster.
500
00:33:12,023 --> 00:33:15,011
I did it, I did it, I did it.
Got some bad news.
501
00:33:15,011 --> 00:33:16,031
What? It's a dead end.
502
00:33:18,043 --> 00:33:22,047
We... We tried to tell you, but we
just couldn't get the message across.
503
00:33:24,003 --> 00:33:27,971
We drove back across the
knit-one-purl-one bridge...
504
00:33:30,003 --> 00:33:33,019
..and found ourselves
in the rainy season
505
00:33:33,019 --> 00:33:36,011
on what appeared to be
the set of Jurassic Park.
506
00:33:42,059 --> 00:33:45,067
Petrified forests, mysterious lakes,
507
00:33:45,067 --> 00:33:47,031
this is all very odd.
508
00:33:49,051 --> 00:33:52,023
If I go round the next corner
and there's a brontosaurus,
509
00:33:52,023 --> 00:33:54,043
I will not be surprised.
510
00:33:58,067 --> 00:34:01,055
I'm not sure this is the road
to the south.
511
00:34:04,043 --> 00:34:07,051
When do we just accept
this is not working,
512
00:34:07,051 --> 00:34:10,031
this is not right,
this is not the way.
513
00:34:10,031 --> 00:34:14,027
Soon the track led us
into a primordial swamp.
514
00:34:17,983 --> 00:34:19,983
Oh, for crying out loud!
515
00:34:19,983 --> 00:34:22,999
It's a 928 Porsche,
for heaven's sake!
516
00:34:25,027 --> 00:34:26,975
Oh, that felt bad.
517
00:34:28,995 --> 00:34:33,059
If you're Chilean, perhaps
you'd like to write in and say,
"No, you went the wrong way."
518
00:34:35,007 --> 00:34:38,011
No, that's it, I'm stuck,
and I'm going to die here,
519
00:34:38,011 --> 00:34:41,011
a lonely, hideous death.
520
00:34:42,983 --> 00:34:44,035
Oh, no!
521
00:34:45,047 --> 00:34:48,063
Jeremy and I were now completely
beached.
522
00:34:50,047 --> 00:34:51,051
However...
523
00:34:53,023 --> 00:34:57,059
This car is incredible.
It is truly incredible.
524
00:34:57,059 --> 00:35:00,043
If I showed you a picture of this
and said, "what's that good for?"
525
00:35:00,043 --> 00:35:04,059
You'd say, "Oh, I wouldn't want to
take that into a supermarket car
park, they've got speed humps."
526
00:35:08,063 --> 00:35:10,055
Here comes Norfolk to the rescue.
527
00:35:15,015 --> 00:35:18,023
Come on, Jeremy. Yes!
528
00:35:18,023 --> 00:35:21,999
Come on, Porsche.
Yes, you good, good car.
529
00:35:23,035 --> 00:35:26,999
Desperate for the astonishing Lotus
not to hog all the glory,
530
00:35:26,999 --> 00:35:30,059
I decided the Porsche would get
the Mustang moving.
531
00:35:30,059 --> 00:35:33,047
International Rescue is coming
to Hammond's aid.
532
00:35:34,051 --> 00:35:37,047
Right, are you ready?
Yes, I am.
533
00:35:37,047 --> 00:35:42,047
I'm going to start pushing in
three, two, one, go.
534
00:35:50,979 --> 00:35:52,027
We're both stuck, now.
535
00:35:55,063 --> 00:35:58,067
Look at it!
It's just driving around.
536
00:36:00,043 --> 00:36:02,011
Having a spot of bother?
537
00:36:03,031 --> 00:36:06,975
Its proud American ass
is stuck on a rock.
538
00:36:06,975 --> 00:36:08,059
Its lardy arse.
539
00:36:08,059 --> 00:36:10,971
Yes. It's a bit heavy for this
sort of work.
540
00:36:10,971 --> 00:36:14,051
Well, you're right, it is...
Oh.
541
00:36:14,051 --> 00:36:16,031
What?
542
00:36:16,031 --> 00:36:18,991
What the hell is that?
What is it, a 2CV pick-up?
543
00:36:18,991 --> 00:36:23,019
Well, it's a 2CV at the front,
then what is it?
544
00:36:23,019 --> 00:36:27,015
I saw that car in Bariloche.
You can't have done.
545
00:36:27,015 --> 00:36:29,991
One like it.
It can't possibly be the same one.
546
00:36:34,059 --> 00:36:38,019
Finally, Hammond and I
managed to get free.
547
00:36:38,019 --> 00:36:40,031
Yes!
548
00:36:40,031 --> 00:36:41,999
And then...
549
00:36:41,999 --> 00:36:45,039
There it is, there's the road to
the south.
550
00:36:45,039 --> 00:36:51,003
look - that is what we have been
looking for, and we've found it.
551
00:36:52,047 --> 00:36:57,059
There was a river between us
and it, but there was also a bridge.
552
00:37:08,063 --> 00:37:12,995
We're now just 50 metres
from the road to the south.
553
00:37:15,055 --> 00:37:16,975
Cocking Nora!
554
00:37:17,991 --> 00:37:20,059
What's the matter, you idiot?
555
00:37:20,059 --> 00:37:23,047
It's not finished. Ah.
556
00:37:29,003 --> 00:37:31,999
Why would you build part of a bridge?
Why have they built...?
557
00:37:31,999 --> 00:37:34,023
It's... It's nine tenths.
Look at that.
558
00:37:37,051 --> 00:37:40,991
Ready, steady, heave.
559
00:37:40,991 --> 00:37:43,047
No, it's really heavy.
560
00:37:43,047 --> 00:37:46,995
Right. Yeah. Why don't we just
get the film crew to help?
561
00:37:46,995 --> 00:37:48,067
There's hundreds of them.
562
00:37:48,067 --> 00:37:50,019
Guys, can we have...?
563
00:37:53,987 --> 00:37:57,043
A short while later, the three of us
had got the bridge finished.
564
00:38:00,059 --> 00:38:04,047
That is a proud moment, Hammond,
but...
565
00:38:04,047 --> 00:38:07,011
is it straight?
566
00:38:07,011 --> 00:38:09,035
Yes. Yes.
567
00:38:11,983 --> 00:38:15,055
Gentlemen, I'm about to go over
the edge, is there anything you
want to say to me?
568
00:38:15,055 --> 00:38:17,011
Can I have your Ferrari?
569
00:38:19,979 --> 00:38:20,995
Oh, here he goes.
570
00:38:25,011 --> 00:38:27,059
Come on.
571
00:38:29,035 --> 00:38:33,055
He's done it.
He's faced the peril and won.
572
00:38:36,015 --> 00:38:38,059
In fact, we all did.
573
00:38:38,059 --> 00:38:41,011
Oh! There it is!
574
00:38:42,011 --> 00:38:45,023
And at last,
we were on the Road To The South.
575
00:38:45,023 --> 00:38:48,971
Ha ha ha!
576
00:38:56,023 --> 00:38:58,991
The next morning,
we set off in good spirits...
577
00:39:01,051 --> 00:39:03,999
..overjoyed that the going
was smooth.
578
00:39:05,043 --> 00:39:08,971
Tarmac. Oh, the relief.
579
00:39:10,019 --> 00:39:13,019
Sadly, though,
after just half a mile...
580
00:39:15,035 --> 00:39:18,067
Oh, God Almighty! Bad news, Hammond.
581
00:39:19,995 --> 00:39:22,979
Ow!
582
00:39:22,979 --> 00:39:27,019
Ow, ow, ow! Ow! Ah! Ah!
583
00:39:27,019 --> 00:39:31,995
This immediately caused the
ever-troublesome Mustang to have a puncture.
584
00:39:35,971 --> 00:39:38,011
James, do you want to wait for him
or...?
585
00:39:38,011 --> 00:39:41,023
Well, do you know, under the circumstances,
I think it would be fair to...
586
00:39:41,023 --> 00:39:43,055
No, I don't.
587
00:39:43,055 --> 00:39:45,015
See you, mate.
588
00:39:52,035 --> 00:39:57,051
May and I drove on with the now familiar
Chilean weather our constant companion.
589
00:39:57,051 --> 00:40:00,987
We are in the Manchester
of South America,
590
00:40:00,987 --> 00:40:03,019
but without the annoying accent.
591
00:40:03,019 --> 00:40:05,039
I'll go for a walk.
Oh, no, it's raining.
592
00:40:05,039 --> 00:40:07,047
Let's go and play tennis.
Oh, it's raining.
593
00:40:07,047 --> 00:40:09,971
Round of golf?
Oh, no, it's raining.
594
00:40:09,971 --> 00:40:12,975
I'm going to do some gardening.
Oh, no, it's raining.
595
00:40:14,007 --> 00:40:17,003
And then in the next town,
which was on the coast,
596
00:40:17,003 --> 00:40:20,027
I discovered the water doesn't
always come from the sky.
597
00:40:21,975 --> 00:40:26,007
This sign here -
the tsunami hazard zone.
598
00:40:26,007 --> 00:40:30,031
So they know this to be an area
susceptible to tsunamis. Right.
599
00:40:33,023 --> 00:40:35,015
Playground.
600
00:40:36,027 --> 00:40:39,047
Why would you do that? You could
have put it over that side, it's...
601
00:40:39,047 --> 00:40:42,983
It's a couple of feet higher but
that makes a difference, doesn't it?
602
00:40:42,983 --> 00:40:46,015
Extraordinary. Madness.
It is madness.
603
00:40:46,015 --> 00:40:49,043
Eventually our colleague arrived.
604
00:40:49,043 --> 00:40:51,063
How are you two?
Everything all right?
605
00:40:51,063 --> 00:40:55,051
Yeah, we were just enjoying
the location of this school
playground on your right.
606
00:40:55,051 --> 00:40:57,999
Yeah, I'm intrigued by the
fire station to our left.
607
00:40:57,999 --> 00:41:00,055
That's... Imagine
being a fireman here.
608
00:41:00,055 --> 00:41:02,995
Quick get to the fire! Oh, don't
worry, the rain's put it out.
609
00:41:02,995 --> 00:41:06,003
Maybe it's literally a fire station,
they come and start a fire for you.
610
00:41:06,003 --> 00:41:08,019
Yeah!
611
00:41:10,979 --> 00:41:14,975
The town also had Wi-Fi,
which meant I could download some
612
00:41:14,975 --> 00:41:17,995
official advice about driving
on the local roads.
613
00:41:18,995 --> 00:41:21,047
"If your vehicle has rear
wheel drive..."
614
00:41:21,047 --> 00:41:24,019
Now, this is important this
applies to us, OK?
615
00:41:24,019 --> 00:41:28,035
"..recover lost control
while doing speed recesses."
616
00:41:28,035 --> 00:41:29,987
Oh, I have been.
617
00:41:29,987 --> 00:41:32,011
"Avoid bite the shoulder,
618
00:41:32,011 --> 00:41:36,015
"and if so, do not leaflet to
quickly return to the asphalt."
619
00:41:37,051 --> 00:41:40,059
"This manoeuvre usually
ends up in dumps."
620
00:41:44,043 --> 00:41:48,067
I decided to try some of this
leafleting, and it was good fun.
621
00:41:48,067 --> 00:41:50,979
Woo-hoo-hoo!
622
00:41:50,979 --> 00:41:54,043
I've got a loose backend on my 928.
623
00:41:54,043 --> 00:41:57,015
And even though it was loose,
there were no dumps.
624
00:41:57,015 --> 00:41:59,059
Ho, ho, ho!
625
00:41:59,059 --> 00:42:01,039
In the Mustang, however...
626
00:42:01,039 --> 00:42:06,015
Oh, no! Ah!
627
00:42:06,015 --> 00:42:11,067
The noise was so bad, Hammond
couldn't hear a word of what
we were saying on the radio.
628
00:42:11,067 --> 00:42:15,051
Hammond! You whiten your teeth
and your hair's stupid.
629
00:42:15,051 --> 00:42:17,039
What?
630
00:42:17,039 --> 00:42:20,019
Hammond, I've heard you're hung
like a church mouse.
631
00:42:20,019 --> 00:42:22,007
What?
632
00:42:24,999 --> 00:42:30,975
Sadly, our amusing game was halted when
we spotted something that wasn't funny at all.
633
00:42:34,035 --> 00:42:39,055
It is that 2CV again,
following our tracks.
634
00:42:39,055 --> 00:42:41,991
I couldn't do that,
could you do that?
635
00:42:41,991 --> 00:42:45,067
How can they do that?
Who are those guys?
636
00:42:45,067 --> 00:42:49,003
Stop doing Butch Cassidy things,
please. Not now.
637
00:42:49,003 --> 00:42:51,031
I know who it is.
638
00:42:51,031 --> 00:42:52,991
Who is it?
639
00:42:52,991 --> 00:42:58,983
It's the producers. That's
their idea of a comedy backup car.
640
00:42:58,983 --> 00:43:03,019
I hate the 2CV,
I absolutely loathe it.
641
00:43:03,019 --> 00:43:07,067
I got a job on original Top Gear as a
result of a screen-test I did on the 2CV,
642
00:43:07,067 --> 00:43:12,023
when all I did was rant and rave for
20 minutes about how awful it was,
643
00:43:12,023 --> 00:43:14,035
and I could have gone on
for a fortnight.
644
00:43:14,035 --> 00:43:16,011
I don't want to get in that.
645
00:43:16,011 --> 00:43:19,059
Well, it's funny you should
say that, Hammond. Shut up.
646
00:43:23,003 --> 00:43:26,987
As we headed further south,
the weather got even worse
647
00:43:26,987 --> 00:43:29,007
and the road became a nightmare.
648
00:43:32,987 --> 00:43:35,975
Very sobering, that 2CV.
649
00:43:37,019 --> 00:43:40,003
Oh, my God.
650
00:43:40,003 --> 00:43:42,043
20mph.
651
00:43:43,971 --> 00:43:48,023
Predictably, though, my car was
soaking up the punishment.
652
00:43:49,051 --> 00:43:51,979
And amazingly, so was HMS Norfolk.
653
00:43:53,011 --> 00:43:55,987
Look at that Lotus - it's been
through a swamp,
654
00:43:55,987 --> 00:43:59,011
it's been through a wood,
and it's still working.
655
00:44:00,019 --> 00:44:04,003
Quite a lot of me is rooting
for that little red super car.
656
00:44:04,003 --> 00:44:08,067
It's just incredible. I mean, who knew
it was the world's best off-road car?
657
00:44:08,067 --> 00:44:13,043
Who knew that it's built to a
higher standard than a Lexus?
658
00:44:13,043 --> 00:44:16,991
In the Mustang, though,
it was business as usual.
659
00:44:19,011 --> 00:44:22,043
Now my clutch is starting to slip.
660
00:44:22,043 --> 00:44:24,059
I've lost another gear.
661
00:44:26,987 --> 00:44:28,995
This is insane, it's stupid.
662
00:44:31,059 --> 00:44:33,043
Jeremy, on this route of yours,
663
00:44:33,043 --> 00:44:36,019
how much further is it,
how much more of this?
664
00:44:37,027 --> 00:44:40,051
Uh, stand by, caller.
665
00:44:40,051 --> 00:44:43,055
1,170 miles.
666
00:44:46,043 --> 00:44:48,043
1,100?
667
00:44:49,047 --> 00:44:51,019
And 70, yeah.
668
00:44:51,019 --> 00:44:54,043
That's not possible,
for crying out loud!
669
00:45:03,035 --> 00:45:06,007
I'm not hearing a lot of what
you're saying, Hammond.
670
00:45:06,007 --> 00:45:08,987
The cars absolutely
can't take the punishment.
671
00:45:08,987 --> 00:45:11,011
Mine certainly can't. Therefore...
672
00:45:22,035 --> 00:45:25,047
Unlike Hammond, I was loving Chile.
673
00:45:25,047 --> 00:45:28,011
It had stopped raining for a moment,
674
00:45:28,011 --> 00:45:31,043
the scenery was wonderful,
and best of all...
675
00:45:35,987 --> 00:45:38,039
Oh, my God! Look at the size
of that thing,
676
00:45:38,039 --> 00:45:39,975
seriously, look at it.
677
00:45:42,011 --> 00:45:45,995
I swear to God, I've wanted to see
a condor since I was about three.
678
00:45:48,039 --> 00:45:51,979
That is the biggest flying bird in the
world, isn't it, I think I'm right in saying?
679
00:45:51,979 --> 00:45:53,047
And there's another one.
680
00:45:59,031 --> 00:46:02,051
Well, there we are - the sun's out,
I've seen a condor,
681
00:46:02,051 --> 00:46:04,043
all is well in my world.
682
00:46:07,987 --> 00:46:11,027
Sadly, I had to leave the big,
beautiful bird,
683
00:46:11,027 --> 00:46:16,003
because at the hotel, Hammond
was waiting to shout at me.
684
00:46:16,003 --> 00:46:18,031
Half the interior trim dropped off.
Has it?
685
00:46:18,031 --> 00:46:21,047
The carburettor's all clogged up,
it doesn't fuel properly anymore.
686
00:46:21,047 --> 00:46:25,031
And the fuel, the gear linkage
is completely clogged up with bits
of gravel and stone
687
00:46:25,031 --> 00:46:27,983
and mud and rain,
and you can't get half the gears.
688
00:46:27,983 --> 00:46:30,023
And the reason for all of these
things? What?
689
00:46:30,023 --> 00:46:31,983
Made in America in 1970?
690
00:46:31,983 --> 00:46:36,023
It's your route, it's your route,
this road is killing the car!
691
00:46:36,023 --> 00:46:40,047
Hammond then broke out a map
and boldly claimed he'd found
692
00:46:40,047 --> 00:46:44,023
a radical new way of getting
to our destination.
693
00:46:44,023 --> 00:46:46,039
We go back to Argentina. Why?
694
00:46:46,039 --> 00:46:47,979
Think about it, when we were...
695
00:46:47,979 --> 00:46:50,987
We've been to Argentina, the roads
were fine. We made good progress.
696
00:46:50,987 --> 00:46:53,975
Then we can all three get there.
Great, that's an achievement.
697
00:46:53,975 --> 00:46:57,023
We've got to at least try to do it.
In fact, no - we've got to do that.
698
00:46:57,023 --> 00:47:01,011
Back to Arg... Here's...
I don't do this very often,
699
00:47:01,011 --> 00:47:02,975
but I'm going to take charge.
700
00:47:02,975 --> 00:47:05,067
Let's go back to Argentina,
pick up the good road.
701
00:47:05,067 --> 00:47:07,995
We've been to Argentina,
the roads were good.
702
00:47:07,995 --> 00:47:10,035
We'll find a way across the Andes
that we can survive,
703
00:47:10,035 --> 00:47:12,047
and then we can head south,
all of us together.
704
00:47:12,047 --> 00:47:15,011
We stand a chance
of arriving as a team.
705
00:47:15,011 --> 00:47:17,059
Well, don't come crying to me
if it goes wrong.
706
00:47:23,043 --> 00:47:25,975
The next day we were up at the
crack of dawn.
707
00:47:29,007 --> 00:47:31,047
And boy was it worth it.
708
00:47:35,047 --> 00:47:38,991
This is truly special this morning.
709
00:47:38,991 --> 00:47:42,011
This is one of the greatest
advantages of getting old -
710
00:47:42,011 --> 00:47:46,995
you get up early, and when you
get up early, you see the world like this.
711
00:47:50,979 --> 00:47:56,023
Commander Hammond, however, was too
busy to notice Chile's misty-eyed goodbye.
712
00:47:56,023 --> 00:47:57,971
Er...
713
00:47:59,991 --> 00:48:02,971
Right. That's Chile.
714
00:48:06,019 --> 00:48:10,003
I decided that to get to the
better roads of Argentina
715
00:48:10,003 --> 00:48:13,031
we should head back over
the Andes immediately,
716
00:48:13,031 --> 00:48:17,059
which didn't go down very well
with my colleagues.
717
00:48:17,059 --> 00:48:20,039
Hammond, you utter, utter...
718
00:48:20,039 --> 00:48:22,055
Aargh!
719
00:48:22,055 --> 00:48:27,015
Whoa! Christ! Hammond!
It's sheet ice here.
720
00:48:27,015 --> 00:48:32,039
If you possessed even an ounce of finesse
you wouldn't be slithering about like an idiot.
721
00:48:32,039 --> 00:48:34,047
I might be doing it
slightly on purpose.
722
00:48:34,047 --> 00:48:36,987
Business car, eh? Ha ha!
723
00:48:36,987 --> 00:48:41,047
"Oh, it's just a crazy car, it goes
mental. Yeah, it's just really silly.
724
00:48:41,047 --> 00:48:45,011
"Sliding about on the snow.
Oh, look at me, full of character."
725
00:48:46,975 --> 00:48:49,067
Hammond assured us that once
we were over the mountains
726
00:48:49,067 --> 00:48:52,995
and back in Argentina,
all would be well.
727
00:48:52,995 --> 00:48:54,031
But he was wrong.
728
00:48:58,971 --> 00:48:59,987
Oh, God.
729
00:49:01,007 --> 00:49:05,015
Oh, yeah, Hammond the roads
in Argentina are much better!
730
00:49:05,015 --> 00:49:07,067
Bloody hell.
731
00:49:07,067 --> 00:49:11,015
This, frankly, is unacceptable.
732
00:49:12,023 --> 00:49:15,063
Soon it became even less acceptable.
733
00:49:17,999 --> 00:49:20,051
Hammond, I need a brief
exchange of words with you.
734
00:49:20,051 --> 00:49:23,991
There're only two of them, only
seven letters. Three of them are Fs.
735
00:49:25,063 --> 00:49:26,995
Oh, dear.
736
00:49:26,995 --> 00:49:32,019
James, if you say,
"Jeremy, your car is not boring,"
737
00:49:32,019 --> 00:49:34,983
I will give you a tow.
738
00:49:34,983 --> 00:49:38,039
Jeremy, your car isn't boring,
please would you give me a tow?
739
00:49:38,039 --> 00:49:41,983
The noble German helped the plucky
Brit out of the trenches.
740
00:49:43,015 --> 00:49:47,003
Thank you very much, Jeremy
Clarkson, and your interesting Porsche.
741
00:49:48,035 --> 00:49:51,051
And then we continued down
Hammond Highway,
742
00:49:51,051 --> 00:49:53,007
which was appalling.
743
00:49:58,011 --> 00:50:02,031
That? That's washboard - a whole
series of ridges very close together
744
00:50:02,031 --> 00:50:03,067
and going on forever.
745
00:50:05,991 --> 00:50:08,067
Oh, no! I've lost second gear.
746
00:50:10,019 --> 00:50:12,027
Still - could be worse.
747
00:50:14,039 --> 00:50:15,047
What's up?
748
00:50:15,047 --> 00:50:19,003
Driving along, the washers have
suddenly gone on, wipers,
749
00:50:19,003 --> 00:50:20,999
and the engine has stopped.
750
00:50:20,999 --> 00:50:23,011
I didn't ask them to do that.
751
00:50:25,003 --> 00:50:27,063
I've never, ever seen
anything like that.
752
00:50:27,063 --> 00:50:31,067
Oh, the engine's now back.
That's really weird.
753
00:50:33,003 --> 00:50:35,039
Well, come on,
let's just keep going.
754
00:50:35,039 --> 00:50:37,063
It'll run out of fluid eventually.
755
00:50:40,063 --> 00:50:44,979
This is what happens when
Hammond puts himself in charge.
756
00:50:44,979 --> 00:50:47,975
It was amazing, it
was like it was possessed.
757
00:50:47,975 --> 00:50:50,015
Jeremy Clarkson
and his haunted Porsche.
758
00:50:51,051 --> 00:50:55,047
No, the dashboard is a Christmas
tree and the car has stopped.
759
00:50:55,047 --> 00:50:58,059
Power steer...
Yeah, it's dead. Porche's dead.
760
00:50:58,059 --> 00:51:01,055
BLEEP
761
00:51:01,055 --> 00:51:03,027
Hammond!
762
00:51:03,027 --> 00:51:05,055
This road you chose
has killed my Porsche.
763
00:51:05,055 --> 00:51:08,015
I'm going to beat you to death
with a bat.
764
00:51:08,015 --> 00:51:10,019
Why? What?
If we'd have stayed in Chile...
765
00:51:10,019 --> 00:51:14,015
Stop questioning my leadership. That is not
what is required in an emergency situation.
766
00:51:14,015 --> 00:51:15,999
I'm driving along...
767
00:51:15,999 --> 00:51:18,047
I will deal with the responsibility.
768
00:51:18,047 --> 00:51:20,995
'And I dealt with it straight away.'
769
00:51:20,995 --> 00:51:22,031
Uh...
770
00:51:22,031 --> 00:51:23,063
'By leaving.'
771
00:51:24,971 --> 00:51:26,059
Right, then. Follow me.
772
00:51:29,067 --> 00:51:33,059
As leader, I had no choice, and believe
me, it's a responsibility that...
773
00:51:33,059 --> 00:51:37,027
It unsettles that I've
got to leave a man in the field.
774
00:51:37,027 --> 00:51:40,991
Now, that is a bit of a worry, to
be honest, because the Porsche 928
775
00:51:40,991 --> 00:51:44,023
was notorious for having very
complicated electrics
776
00:51:44,023 --> 00:51:46,067
and for having a lot
of electrical gremlins
777
00:51:46,067 --> 00:51:48,055
once it got beyond a certain age.
778
00:51:49,059 --> 00:51:54,011
Yeah, Jeremy's chances of
fixing that car? Um...
779
00:51:54,011 --> 00:51:56,979
He did once wire his own speakers,
780
00:51:56,979 --> 00:52:00,019
in the sense that he plugged them
in at the back of stereo,
781
00:52:00,019 --> 00:52:04,019
at home, you know, when you get
the little plugs, left and right.
782
00:52:06,975 --> 00:52:09,975
Mysteriously, without me
doing anything at all
783
00:52:09,975 --> 00:52:12,991
the Porsche had come back to life,
784
00:52:12,991 --> 00:52:14,983
sort of.
785
00:52:14,983 --> 00:52:18,999
OK, the wipers won't turn off,
the dials aren't working,
786
00:52:18,999 --> 00:52:22,011
the heater isn't working,
the lights aren't working -
787
00:52:22,011 --> 00:52:25,011
but the mighty V8
is back in business!
788
00:52:27,015 --> 00:52:29,059
However, a mile later...
789
00:52:39,983 --> 00:52:43,007
Now the engine's... Oh, Christ.
What's happened?
790
00:52:44,059 --> 00:52:47,011
What is that?
791
00:52:47,011 --> 00:52:50,047
I have the key! It's off!
792
00:52:51,987 --> 00:52:55,051
The engine and the starter motor
were both jammed on,
793
00:52:55,051 --> 00:52:59,007
and they could only be shut down
by disconnecting the battery.
794
00:53:01,031 --> 00:53:05,003
The situation is a lot worse
than I thought.
795
00:53:05,003 --> 00:53:08,039
This is what the top of the
shock absorber should look like.
796
00:53:08,039 --> 00:53:10,991
And if you look on this side you can
see it's been punched
797
00:53:10,991 --> 00:53:14,999
out of its mountings and has hit
the wiring loom,
798
00:53:14,999 --> 00:53:19,035
which is what has made the entire
electrical system go haywire.
799
00:53:19,035 --> 00:53:22,011
Now, I can fix the wiring loom,
probably fix the shock absorber,
800
00:53:22,011 --> 00:53:25,047
but what damage has been caused to
all the electrical components?
801
00:53:25,047 --> 00:53:26,979
I mean, do the lights work?
802
00:53:31,011 --> 00:53:35,043
It's half past two now.
Five hours of daylight.
803
00:53:38,047 --> 00:53:44,979
Meanwhile, further up the road,
May was getting some bad news
about that night's accommodation.
804
00:53:46,979 --> 00:53:49,023
Hang on, you're not saying
it's a bloody campsite.
805
00:53:49,023 --> 00:53:51,991
You've brought me on a crap road,
worse than the one we were on.
806
00:53:51,991 --> 00:53:53,991
We've got a car down,
you've ruined the Lotus
807
00:53:53,991 --> 00:53:56,987
and at the end of this you want me
to stay in a tent!
808
00:53:56,987 --> 00:53:59,027
You might find one of your
tent poles is missing,
809
00:53:59,027 --> 00:54:01,019
but don't worry, I know where it is.
810
00:54:01,019 --> 00:54:02,979
I'll have shoved it up your a...
811
00:54:02,979 --> 00:54:05,035
Signal's a bit dodgy this end
at the moment, James,
812
00:54:05,035 --> 00:54:07,983
but I guess you got
the message back there.
813
00:54:10,039 --> 00:54:14,015
This is what Hammond's road has done
to the inside of my wiring loom,
814
00:54:14,015 --> 00:54:16,035
look at this, just look at that.
815
00:54:16,035 --> 00:54:18,995
It just looks like the inside of
Steve Austin's arm.
816
00:54:21,039 --> 00:54:23,063
And they call me an orang-utan,
817
00:54:23,063 --> 00:54:26,059
they simply don't know what
they're talking about.
818
00:54:28,975 --> 00:54:30,995
At the end of a miserable drive
819
00:54:30,995 --> 00:54:33,975
I was now faced with
an evening's tenting.
820
00:54:34,987 --> 00:54:37,999
A whole day driving on a
terrible road, wrecking my car,
821
00:54:37,999 --> 00:54:42,003
possibly losing the Porsche,
breaking my spine,
822
00:54:42,003 --> 00:54:45,059
then Hammond says I have to put the
tent up while he goes off to get the food.
823
00:54:45,059 --> 00:54:48,023
And I don't know how his tent
goes together, and he knows
824
00:54:48,023 --> 00:54:52,983
absolutely the square root of jack
BLEEP about food and cooking.
825
00:54:52,983 --> 00:54:56,067
I wonder if anybody else... I
wonder if the viewers find Hammond's
826
00:54:56,067 --> 00:55:02,027
chirpy, upbeat, Ross-on-Wye
mannerisms as aggravating as I do?
827
00:55:04,011 --> 00:55:08,039
Right, everything is now taped up,
so let's see if it starts.
828
00:55:17,047 --> 00:55:18,067
There you go.
829
00:55:20,031 --> 00:55:24,047
At the campsite, I was returning
with our evening meal.
830
00:55:25,983 --> 00:55:27,031
I hope he's hungry.
831
00:55:30,987 --> 00:55:33,047
Hello! Hello!
832
00:55:33,047 --> 00:55:35,055
Dinner is here.
833
00:55:35,055 --> 00:55:37,027
Yeah!
834
00:55:37,027 --> 00:55:38,995
Meat. Yeah, very funny A lot of it.
835
00:55:38,995 --> 00:55:42,059
Yeah, but we've done that joke, cos Jeremy
did it in the top part of America. Yeah.
836
00:55:42,059 --> 00:55:45,035
About seven or eight years ago,
you've probably forgotten.
837
00:55:45,035 --> 00:55:47,971
This time it's different,
this time it's better.
838
00:55:47,971 --> 00:55:50,051
What you're going to have...
No, listen.
839
00:55:50,051 --> 00:55:53,067
..is a traditional, authentic
gaucho barbecue.
840
00:55:53,067 --> 00:55:55,007
That's a whole cow.
841
00:55:55,007 --> 00:55:57,015
Hey, they eat a lot of meat
round here.
842
00:55:57,015 --> 00:56:01,991
Finish the tent. I'll have it on
in a moment. Seriously. Crack on.
843
00:56:01,991 --> 00:56:03,003
Right.
844
00:56:05,039 --> 00:56:08,055
It's a problem, essentially,
of getting the wrapper off.
845
00:56:12,035 --> 00:56:17,039
Several hours of peeling later,
Hammond's dinner was underway.
846
00:56:17,039 --> 00:56:21,975
And while we ate, we discussed
the fate of our colleague.
847
00:56:21,975 --> 00:56:27,027
If we hear the sound of two...
Well, or one cylinder,
848
00:56:27,027 --> 00:56:30,043
it's probably the 2CV. Yeah.
849
00:56:30,043 --> 00:56:34,007
But any more than two,
it must be the Porsche.
850
00:56:34,007 --> 00:56:37,011
What if he couldn't fix it
because he's stupid and ended up...?
851
00:56:37,011 --> 00:56:39,019
No, but he's an expert on electrics.
852
00:56:39,019 --> 00:56:40,999
Hang on that's an engine.
853
00:56:44,039 --> 00:56:46,987
What is it?
854
00:56:46,987 --> 00:56:49,035
It's the unhappiest man
in the world, is what it is.
855
00:56:49,035 --> 00:56:51,035
Oh, no!
856
00:56:51,035 --> 00:56:55,067
Oh, no! I really...
I honestly thought that would be...
857
00:56:57,975 --> 00:57:01,015
Oh, hang on. That...
It's stalking us. There it is!
858
00:57:02,063 --> 00:57:05,975
He's going to be
so pleased with himself.
859
00:57:05,975 --> 00:57:09,003
I have been doing manual labour.
860
00:57:09,003 --> 00:57:10,979
Good God. Really?
861
00:57:10,979 --> 00:57:13,991
I hardly like to admit it, but I was praying
that the Porsche would turn up.
862
00:57:13,991 --> 00:57:16,039
I didn't want to see it die.
That is absolutely fabulous.
863
00:57:16,039 --> 00:57:20,019
I've actually got dirty hands from
actual work. Dirty hands. What was it?
864
00:57:20,019 --> 00:57:23,007
I had to fix the loom, fix the ECU,
865
00:57:23,007 --> 00:57:26,983
and then find some metal,
bolt that to the inner wing
866
00:57:26,983 --> 00:57:30,055
and reattach the top of
the shock absorber to that.
867
00:57:30,055 --> 00:57:32,999
Oh, well done.
Have you got any food for me?
868
00:57:32,999 --> 00:57:35,015
Oh, has he?! Ah!
869
00:57:35,015 --> 00:57:38,055
I'm not entire... I can't
remember where it came from,
870
00:57:38,055 --> 00:57:39,991
I sort of lost track.
871
00:57:39,991 --> 00:57:43,067
There's a lot in a cow.
That's... Um, that's a piece of it.
872
00:57:43,067 --> 00:57:46,039
Have we got any vegetables?
873
00:57:46,039 --> 00:57:49,003
Is that a vegetable over here?
Yeah. Yeah, sausages.
874
00:57:49,003 --> 00:57:51,035
Welcome to our little camp,
that's the main thing.
875
00:57:51,035 --> 00:57:54,027
Right, where is the hotel
where we're staying?
876
00:57:54,027 --> 00:57:57,043
Well, I just said -
welcome to our little camp.
877
00:57:57,043 --> 00:57:58,971
What?
878
00:58:02,003 --> 00:58:05,047
Jeremy went to sleep that night
quite cross.
879
00:58:05,047 --> 00:58:09,975
So, to cheer him up, May and I
came up with a plan.
880
00:58:09,975 --> 00:58:12,975
That one.
Right, I'll do these bits.
881
00:58:12,975 --> 00:58:15,971
The thing is, it's not making any
difference to him, ultimately.
882
00:58:15,971 --> 00:58:18,975
It's making a difference to our
lives.
883
00:58:18,975 --> 00:58:21,023
Oh! That's quite good.
884
00:58:21,023 --> 00:58:22,063
"Quite good"?!
885
00:58:22,063 --> 00:58:24,991
I'm turning that off.
Right, what else have we got?
886
00:58:24,991 --> 00:58:27,011
Another one of those
on the other side.
887
00:58:32,043 --> 00:58:34,983
Every bone in their crotches.
888
00:58:36,019 --> 00:58:37,999
That's what I'm going to break.
889
00:58:45,007 --> 00:58:47,015
Why have you done this?
890
00:58:47,015 --> 00:58:50,035
It's all right, you get to look at
an Esprit and a Mustang,
891
00:58:50,035 --> 00:58:52,975
we have to look at this all day,
and it's dull.
892
00:58:52,975 --> 00:58:54,971
We've brightened it up.
893
00:58:54,971 --> 00:58:57,983
Have you got a suit? Yes, I have.
Did you have it made, did you buy it?
894
00:58:57,983 --> 00:59:01,983
Did you say, "Could you put some gold
epaulets on it and a Happy Mondays badge?
895
00:59:01,983 --> 00:59:04,047
"Can I have a Gay Pride lining?"
Did you say that? No.
896
00:59:04,047 --> 00:59:07,991
Yeah, but I wouldn't make you look at
me in my boring suit day after day.
897
00:59:07,991 --> 00:59:10,051
We're obliged to look at you
in your boring car.
898
00:59:10,051 --> 00:59:13,055
Now we look at something with some
interesting styling cues dashed about.
899
00:59:13,055 --> 00:59:16,023
No, it looks like a five-year-old
wearing its mother's shoes.
900
00:59:16,023 --> 00:59:18,979
Well, that's more interesting
than it was. It's better.
901
00:59:18,979 --> 00:59:20,987
Why don't you put the campfire out,
902
00:59:20,987 --> 00:59:22,007
and use your face.
903
00:59:23,015 --> 00:59:25,015
And there's one more thing, as well.
904
00:59:27,031 --> 00:59:29,067
That's my map.
905
00:59:29,067 --> 00:59:32,027
You're relieved of command.
I'm with that.
906
00:59:37,007 --> 00:59:39,067
As we set off,
the weather closed in.
907
00:59:41,035 --> 00:59:42,063
I don't like this.
908
00:59:44,051 --> 00:59:48,979
And in the blizzard, I discovered
another comedy jape from my colleagues.
909
00:59:50,003 --> 00:59:51,055
What in God's name...?
910
00:59:52,067 --> 00:59:57,019
Why have you fitted my car with
a brake light on the dash board.
911
00:59:57,019 --> 01:00:00,027
Well, it'll be interesting to
monitor your own braking.
912
01:00:00,027 --> 01:00:01,039
Is it? Is it?
913
01:00:03,059 --> 01:00:06,055
James and Richard are the sort
of people that would put
914
01:00:06,055 --> 01:00:08,043
a tortoise on its back, for fun.
915
01:00:12,067 --> 01:00:16,979
In truth, though, I did have some
genuine problems.
916
01:00:16,979 --> 01:00:21,031
My speedo, my rev counter,
oil pressure gauge, fuel gauge,
917
01:00:21,031 --> 01:00:25,015
temperature gauge,
my trip computer, all dead.
918
01:00:26,979 --> 01:00:29,979
Hammond's car wasn't much better.
919
01:00:29,979 --> 01:00:32,031
Um, can anyone else smell burning?
920
01:00:33,991 --> 01:00:37,991
And we still had 900 miles to go.
921
01:00:41,975 --> 01:00:43,059
It was a dried up lake bed.
922
01:00:43,059 --> 01:00:45,995
I see it now as a racetrack
923
01:00:45,995 --> 01:00:48,043
Oh, that was...!
Argh!
924
01:00:48,043 --> 01:00:50,051
Can you remember where the road was?
925
01:00:51,975 --> 01:00:53,027
This was a mistake.
926
01:00:53,027 --> 01:00:54,031
Just get on.
927
01:00:57,059 --> 01:01:00,971
It's bloody dangerous, this.
Bloody dangerous.
928
01:01:04,067 --> 01:01:08,047
I claim this land for Norfolk
and name it Lotus Beach.
929
01:01:11,007 --> 01:01:12,975
Please move, Porsche, please move.
930
01:01:15,011 --> 01:01:18,055
There you go! Rally stage.
931
01:01:18,055 --> 01:01:21,995
I didn't tell him I had a bad back.
Aya!
932
01:01:21,995 --> 01:01:26,023
Arrive Ushuaia, build stadium,
play football, do diplomacy.
933
01:01:26,023 --> 01:01:28,047
What can possibly go wrong
with that?
934
01:01:28,047 --> 01:01:32,971
Bikes behind the star cars,
bikes behind the star cars.
935
01:01:32,971 --> 01:01:34,263
They're looking for the Porsche.
936
01:01:34,288 --> 01:01:40,288
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936
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