1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,600 Thank you, everybody. 3 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:06,840 Thank you. 4 00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:09,000 Hello! 5 00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:11,520 - Hello, peoples! - Hello. 6 00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:13,360 Thank you very much. 7 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:15,240 Thank you. 8 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:17,160 Thank you so much. 9 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:19,720 Thank you, everybody. 10 00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:21,480 And in this show... 11 00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:25,600 James stands in a park, 12 00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:29,000 I panic in a shop... 13 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:31,560 ...and Richard is touched by a man. 14 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,360 All that is coming later. 15 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:39,080 It is not! 16 00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:43,720 Yes, it is. But first, we start with this. 17 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:46,960 This is the new Ford GT, 18 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:50,200 and we have had thousands of letters from people, 19 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:52,840 all asking the same thing - 20 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,000 "We know it's fast, very fast, 21 00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:57,520 but is it faster than an airliner?" 22 00:01:57,560 --> 00:01:59,440 Well, not thousands of letters. 23 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:02,000 Er... no, not thousands of letters. 24 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:05,320 - You mean, none. - Yes. We've had no letters at all. 25 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:08,400 But I was interested in finding out anyway, 26 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:11,840 so this week, The Grand Tour is off to New York. 27 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:32,200 And here it is. 28 00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:38,400 Deep inside the concrete canyons of Manhattan... 29 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:45,320 ...the fastest, most beautiful, 30 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:48,640 most expensive car Ford has ever made. 31 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:56,800 Some are saying that it's just a 647-horsepower racing car for the road, 32 00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:59,320 but actually, it's a lot more than that. 33 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:08,760 First things first - it is very practical. 34 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:11,320 It's got a boot which is the exact same size 35 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:14,160 as the glove box on a Renault Clio, 36 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:17,240 so you can get your luggage in easily. 37 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:20,080 And unlike the previous GT, 38 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:22,960 it's got doors that you can open in a car park 39 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,680 cos they go up rather than out. 40 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:28,800 And you can get inside even if you have a head. 41 00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:33,680 However, the seat doesn't move. 42 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:36,160 In order to get comfortable, what you have to do is 43 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:38,520 move the steering wheel to where you want it 44 00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:41,920 and then you move the pedals. 45 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:44,440 Pull this sort of ratchet strap here, and... 46 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:48,040 Right. 47 00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:51,600 Is that... Is that fixed? 48 00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:01,720 The problem with this moving-pedal arrangement is 49 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:03,640 that when I push the brake, 50 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:06,960 how do I know whether I'm applying the brakes 51 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,680 or just pushing the pedal further away? 52 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:11,960 How do I know whether it's locked? 53 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:13,480 I don't! 54 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,600 After some nerve-racking city-centre miles 55 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:21,120 with a swallowy Adam in my Big Apple... 56 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:27,640 ...I arrived in Central Park, the start point of the race 57 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:29,680 that no one's been asking about. 58 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:31,560 And dressed like everyone else, 59 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:33,920 my rival was waiting. 60 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:38,640 There he is, Mr Slowly. 61 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:41,280 - Morning. - Hang on. 62 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:43,320 Right, what's the plan? 63 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:45,120 Well, we're going to find out 64 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,880 whether it's faster to fly or drive 65 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:50,200 from here to the Canadian border. 66 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:52,680 - Fly. - Well, you say that, 67 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:55,080 but if you look on a map... 68 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:58,160 ...you, because you're not using a car, 69 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:01,080 will have to go from here in Central Park 70 00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:04,000 on a train to JFK, then fly to Buffalo 71 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:07,520 and then use a bus to get to the finish line 72 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:09,960 at the Niagara Falls, where I'll be waiting for you. 73 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,920 You won't be waiting for me. 74 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:15,400 I will. This thing does 216 miles an hour! 75 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,880 Yes, I know, but where, between there and there, 76 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:20,200 are you gonna do 216 miles an hour? 77 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:23,880 Yes, but you've got to spend two hours at JFK being touched inappropriately 78 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:25,480 and giving them your toothpaste. 79 00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:28,080 Anyway, you've got a handicap. 80 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:29,920 - What handicap? - Here it is! 81 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:37,160 Seriously? I thought he was in hospital. 82 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:39,600 No, you mean you hoped he was in hospital, but he isn't! 83 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,200 He's come all the way out here. 84 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:43,400 He's keen to get back to work. 85 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:46,800 So I've become a carer, is that what you're saying? 86 00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:48,400 Yes. Morning, Hammond. 87 00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:51,560 - Morning, chaps! How are you? - We're very well. 88 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:53,840 You do know this is a race car, don't you? 89 00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:57,320 Yes, apart from the fact it's got indicators and a rear-view mirror and... 90 00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:59,120 Yeah, but it was built to go racing, 91 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:01,760 and you do know racing cars never work on the road. 92 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:04,280 After an hour in this, you'll be scared you're gonna to die. 93 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:07,640 After two hours, you'll be scared in case you don't die. 94 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:09,440 Shall we just get on with this? 95 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:14,600 - Ready? - Yes! 96 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:16,720 What was that? 97 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:19,240 - Nothing, nothing. - That looks tremendous! 98 00:06:19,280 --> 00:06:23,120 I've got it up again now. That was in its V-Max mode. 99 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:25,560 Right. Ready, steady... 100 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,080 Yes. 101 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:30,840 Go. 102 00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:35,120 He hasn't got a chance, has he? 103 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:37,000 He has if you just stand there. Let's go! 104 00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:38,880 It's this way, come on. 105 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:43,320 There we are, leaving the park. 106 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,520 This is good. 107 00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:00,080 Come on, Hammond. 108 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,760 Yeah, good teamwork. 109 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:03,280 Come on! 110 00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:06,160 Oh, it's good to be back! 111 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:10,160 As this was a race between the car and public transport, 112 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:15,240 we'd be using two subway trains, the AirTrain to JFK, 113 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:19,720 a plane to Buffalo and then two buses to the finish point 114 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:22,280 at the Niagara Falls. 115 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:26,440 Clarkson, meanwhile, had a simple 420-mile thrash 116 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:29,520 from one side of New York State to the other. 117 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:38,440 Yes! They're green on 89th. 118 00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:42,040 And they're green on 90th. 119 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:45,680 We are screaming along now. 120 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:51,040 There are some steps here. Can you manage? 121 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:53,320 Yes! Er... 122 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:00,640 Hammond, there's more. 123 00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:11,280 "Start to begin. English. 124 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:13,480 Fast MetroCard. Cash". 125 00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:15,000 Not everybody gives a running commentary 126 00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:17,160 as they get a card, most people just do it. 127 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:21,880 Finally, I'd been caught at a red light, 128 00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:25,960 but that was OK because I had an important call to make. 129 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:29,320 Thank you for calling JetBlue. How may I help you? 130 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:32,080 Good morning, my name's Jeremy Clarkson. 131 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,920 You have a James May and Richard Hammond 132 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:38,120 booked on this morning's flight from JFK to Buffalo. 133 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:42,360 Sure. Do you have their confirmation number, and can you spell their last names? 134 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:44,640 I don't have a confirmation number. 135 00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:47,840 What I can tell you is that they've been accidentally booked by the office 136 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:50,080 into business class. 137 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:53,720 That's not company policy, so could you drop them back down to economy? 138 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:55,440 Sure, let me take a look. 139 00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:58,360 OK, I will make this update in their reservation 140 00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:00,400 and we will email you a confirmation. 141 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,320 Is there anything else we can help with? 142 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:05,600 No, not for the moment, thanks. Thank you very much. 143 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,560 Oh, I'm on form this morning! 144 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:13,680 As was the world's worst carer. 145 00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:30,960 Come on! 146 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:34,760 With the world's clumsiest driver stuck in a barrier... 147 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:39,400 ...I was getting used to the monster 148 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:41,960 that was powering me through Manhattan. 149 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,320 I used to own the old Ford GT, 150 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:46,920 and that was a brilliant car in every way 151 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:51,200 apart from the fact that it was the size of a football pitch, 152 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:54,400 I knocked myself out every time I closed the door, 153 00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:56,880 I couldn't see what was coming at junctions, 154 00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:59,440 and it had such a small fuel tank 155 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:03,760 that it could only go about six yards between fill-ups. 156 00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:08,040 This new version, however, is completely different. 157 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:11,720 It is longer than the car I had, and wider 158 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:14,880 and harder to see out of, and incredibly, 159 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:16,560 the fuel tank's even smaller. 160 00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:19,640 It only holds 12 gallons. 161 00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:23,240 And that means that on this 420-mile race, 162 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:26,400 I'm gonna have to fill up... twice. 163 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:30,840 Eek. 164 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:36,520 It also has literally the hardest ride of any car I've ever driven. 165 00:10:36,560 --> 00:10:40,120 I know New York's roads are atrocious, but this is stiff. 166 00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:44,040 This is... This is stiffer than Ron Jeremy. 167 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:48,600 Meanwhile... 168 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:51,280 This is us. 169 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:53,760 Other than throwing myself down the stairs, 170 00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:55,640 this is all I've got. 171 00:10:57,120 --> 00:10:58,920 Right, we missed that one. 172 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:06,080 In the GT, I was already leaving Manhattan. 173 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:11,640 Right, we've got to go across the Georgy Washington Bridge. 174 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:14,720 Heading for New Jersey. 175 00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:19,640 Annoyingly though, my storming progress 176 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:22,080 was about to be halted by roadworks. 177 00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:29,520 This traffic's worse than I thought it was going to be. 178 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:33,800 Come on! 179 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,240 Er... James? 180 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:45,240 Nothing, don't worry. 181 00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:47,600 - What? - Nothing. 182 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:52,680 Yeah, but it means both of them, not just this one. 183 00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:56,800 Come and see the man without a disability sitting in the special seat! 184 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,200 - Ow! - There's nobody else disabled down here. 185 00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:07,160 I'd be better if I could sit in that special seat that's reserved for me. 186 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:08,960 It's reserved for disabled people. 187 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,640 - Like me! - You're not disabled! 188 00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:12,400 Temporarily, yes, I am! 189 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,880 You're not disabled, you've had a playground injury 190 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:16,840 as a result of your own half-wittedness. 191 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:19,160 - Oh! - That's not disabled. 192 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:22,560 I'm surprised you don't do more charity work with the differently abled. 193 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:28,560 Yes. 194 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:32,040 Lot of love for the fast Ford here. 195 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:35,640 There always is, of course, cos they're seen as sort of blue-collar heroes. 196 00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:38,880 That said, this one is $400,000. 197 00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:42,800 You can actually have two Ferraris for the price of one of these. Two! 198 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,760 Meanwhile, Hammond was heading for the next subway train 199 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:53,640 with the help of Captain Compassionate. 200 00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:56,640 Come on, come on, come on! Come on! 201 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:01,120 Come on! 202 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:06,800 That's gone, then. Yeah. 203 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:09,760 What happened there is, basically, we missed the train 204 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:14,040 because you don't know to slow down when it says "finish" across the road. 205 00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:15,760 - Oh, nice! - Sorry to put it bluntly like that, 206 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,120 but that's exactly what happened. 207 00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:23,520 I, meanwhile, was off the bridge, 208 00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:28,840 and at last the GT had some space to stretch its legs. 209 00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:31,320 Right, now, the roads are opening up a bit, 210 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:33,840 time to see what this V6 can do. 211 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:39,040 Right, here we go - opening the taps! 212 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:47,640 Bloody Nora! 213 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:52,640 Aagh! 214 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,000 What a machine! 215 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:06,160 What an astonishing engine! 216 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:10,640 It's a turbo-charged V6, not a V8, 217 00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:14,080 which it should be in a Ford GT, 218 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:18,880 and it shares 60% of its components with the engine in a Ford pick-up truck. 219 00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:25,240 Yet somehow, it feels like a mad Caterham 220 00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:27,160 when you put your foot down. 221 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:34,640 I also love the way they haven't messed around with the sound this engine makes. 222 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:40,920 There's no electronic trickery, 223 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:43,760 no artificial barks and bangs, 224 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:47,400 it's just a raucous, deafening racket. 225 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:53,160 As Jeremy deafened himself in New Jersey, 226 00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:55,160 we had finished with the subways 227 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:57,920 and were about to board the train to the airport. 228 00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:03,320 - The train will be in three minutes. - Thank you. 229 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:06,080 I'm gonna call May, see how they're doing. 230 00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:07,800 Who would you like to call? 231 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:09,880 Vagina. 232 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:15,080 I've had to change his name in my contacts. 233 00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:18,400 It's not normally Vagina, it's worse than that. 234 00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:22,240 Hello, it's me. You rang. 235 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:25,240 You'll have to really speak up, my car's quite noisy. 236 00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:28,920 I want to know, what time do you get to JFK? 237 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:33,680 We will get to JFK in 25 minutes' time. 238 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:35,400 This is embarrassing, you're making a scene. 239 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:39,640 I'm hoping to get the 11 minutes past one flight. 240 00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:43,520 Hello? May! 241 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:46,160 You know what? He's done some Bluetoothing, hasn't he? 242 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,040 Oh, look. 243 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:52,680 - Oh. - That's not worked, has it? 244 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:58,360 What a bloody noise, honestly! 245 00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:00,640 - What can I do about it? - Put some springs in them or something. 246 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:04,520 On the freeway, 247 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:09,000 I was falling even more under the spell of the GT. 248 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:11,160 This car was actually developed 249 00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:14,160 by a team of just 20 people, 250 00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:18,680 and they did it under the radar of Ford's management. 251 00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:21,760 They had no idea it was going on. 252 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:24,760 Their only contribution to it was insisting it had 253 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:28,960 a little sort of glove-box thing down here in front of the seat 254 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:32,440 so that when they were testing it on the streets of Detroit, 255 00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:34,880 they had somewhere to store their Glocks. 256 00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:39,280 And it does actually feel like it was put together by a small team. 257 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:43,840 It doesn't feel like the product of a mass-market manufacturer. 258 00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:48,760 There's nothing subtle or damped or gentle about anything it does. 259 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,760 I just love it! 260 00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:54,360 On the AirTrain, 261 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:58,120 we too were finally making swift progress. 262 00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:00,960 - That's quite good, isn't it? - That's excellent. 263 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,920 How fast would you say this was going? 264 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:05,120 It's probably 60mph. 265 00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:06,680 That's great! 266 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:10,920 Observe - the train is going faster than the cars. 267 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:18,080 Not my car, it wasn't. 268 00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:20,840 As we are now in the steady cruise, 269 00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:23,800 I've put it in "comfort", and I can relax. 270 00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:26,600 The office has provided me with an audiobook, 271 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:29,440 which will help me do just that. Here we go. 272 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:32,080 I knew innately that 273 00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:34,720 loosening them meant turning them anti-clockwise, 274 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:36,880 a tiny hairspring that contracted... 275 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:39,200 Sadly, it turned out to be 276 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:42,040 a James May talking book on how to mend things. 277 00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:44,840 What I didn't appreciate at the age of five 278 00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:47,560 was the facility that the freshly wound mainspring had 279 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,840 for completing the disassembly process for me, 280 00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:53,360 and as a quantum event at that. It was there... 281 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:56,320 Having reached JFK in no time at all... 282 00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:01,320 ...Hop-Along Hammond was now slowing us down again... 283 00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:06,480 ...so I decided to speed him up. 284 00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:08,680 You do realise this is not a self-propelled one, 285 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:11,320 it hasn't got the big wheels, you'll have to push me? 286 00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:13,760 - Yeah, that's all right. - Cool. 287 00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:16,720 It's better than listening to that clink-chink-clink noise for the rest of the day. 288 00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:20,280 You've really suffered, mate. I don't know how you've put up with it. 289 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:21,840 Thank you. 290 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:24,200 - I'm just gonna do a quick brake test. - Yeah. 291 00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:26,520 Yeah, they work. 292 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,680 Off came the back, 293 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:31,720 suspiciously easily, I would now realise. 294 00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:34,880 More screws lay within, and on I went, 295 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:36,880 like one of Carter's archaeologists... 296 00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:40,560 How did he stay awake to read that out? 297 00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:42,560 He's reassembling an alarm clock, 298 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:45,440 and he's made an audio book of it. 299 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:46,880 Oh, God! 300 00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:51,280 With Hammond now on four wheels, 301 00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:53,320 we were doing well. 302 00:18:53,360 --> 00:18:55,800 This is so easy! 303 00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:58,720 Take everything from out of your pockets, please. 304 00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:00,240 However... 305 00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:09,520 Well, I left them back in the... 306 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:11,560 I can't get in there without crutches. 307 00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:13,720 You were complaining. I didn't think you wanted them any more. 308 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:15,960 - You gave them away! - You're in a wheelchair. 309 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,560 It's like a reserve parachute, you don't go, "I'm not using that". 310 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:21,280 We haven't got the crutches. Please may we go through? 311 00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:26,160 OK. 312 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:28,280 It may have been OK for him, 313 00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:30,360 but it definitely wasn't OK for me. 314 00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:37,760 All right, so I'm gonna go ahead, 315 00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,000 I'm going to give you a pat-down today, OK? 316 00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:40,960 - All right, sir. - The pat-down consists of 317 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:44,640 me starting from the top all the way to the top of your feet. 318 00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,760 For your sensitive areas, I have to use the back of my hands 319 00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:51,720 in a sliding motion, from your waist, going down over your groin 320 00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:54,000 and across your groin as well, 321 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:56,680 then sliding my way down your leg, OK? 322 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:07,720 Sitrep - 300 miles to go, 323 00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:11,360 and I've been doing 16.4 miles to the gallon, 324 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:13,520 and I'm on the motorway. 325 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:17,040 That's not bad. I mean, it's not a prize, but it's not bad. 326 00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:20,880 They should be at JFK now having their penises touched 327 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,560 and deodorant confiscated. 328 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,520 I'm gonna go up and down, OK? 329 00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:35,200 I'm going down. 330 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:40,360 I'll go up and down one more time at the top of the leg. 331 00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:43,800 At this point, 332 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,680 I decided to make life even worse for Hammond and May 333 00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:49,520 by making another call to their airline. 334 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:52,600 Thank you for calling JetBlue. How may I help you? 335 00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:55,960 Really sorry to trouble you again. It's Jeremy Clarkson here. 336 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,720 I spoke earlier about 337 00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:01,480 downgrading Mr May and Mr Hammond to economy class. 338 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:03,680 - Yeah. - If I could tell you, 339 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:08,280 in confidence - they've both just come out of rehab. 340 00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:10,840 So on the flight, could you make sure 341 00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:13,400 the attendants don't give them any alcohol? 342 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,720 Thank you for letting us know. 343 00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:18,360 I will go onto the reservation and make a note 344 00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:21,320 and give it to our in-flight crew. 345 00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:24,680 We will make sure to accommodate this special request. 346 00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:26,800 Thank you for your understanding. 347 00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:28,680 OK, goodbye. 348 00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:30,680 Calling Vagina. 349 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:33,280 Hold on. 350 00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:35,200 - Hello? - Where are you? 351 00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:38,240 We're at JFK. How far have you got? 352 00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,560 I've done 153 miles. 353 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:43,160 - 153? - Yeah. 354 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,480 Right, well, this is where we catch up. 355 00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:47,840 We're about to board the 500mph shuttle. 356 00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:49,400 How long's your flight? 357 00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:51,080 One hour and 15 minutes. 358 00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:53,800 Righty-ho. I could literally... 359 00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:56,720 I might stop and have lunch in a minute. 360 00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:58,520 Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll see you at the end 361 00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:00,600 and keep a beer warm for you. 362 00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:03,960 You definitely will need a drink if you get to the end, I assure you. 363 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,880 Got to go now - important work. 364 00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:10,000 Goodbye. 365 00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:12,400 Economy and no drinks! 366 00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:14,800 I am so gonna win this today. 367 00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:19,560 Calls over, I put my foot down 368 00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:21,960 and went back into the noise zone. 369 00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:41,240 Honestly... 370 00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:44,480 ...you would not believe, 371 00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:48,320 you simply wouldn't believe the noise that that car makes. 372 00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:51,160 It's just... It's just so relentless. 373 00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:55,400 I can't imagine having to put up with that endless bellowing drone. 374 00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:57,200 Yeah, it's a dreary drone. 375 00:22:57,240 --> 00:23:02,320 Just going on and on and on and on. 376 00:23:02,360 --> 00:23:05,560 You think you had it bad, I was travelling with a handicap! 377 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:12,080 James, it's not 1950. The correct term these days is "a disabled". 378 00:23:12,120 --> 00:23:15,440 He's not disabled, he's just clumsy. 379 00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:16,960 What? 380 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:18,600 Actually, on that whole point, 381 00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:20,200 able-bodied people like to think that 382 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:22,280 everything that could be done to make life easier 383 00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:25,640 and convenient for disabled people has been done, 384 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:27,560 but when you find yourself in that position, 385 00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:31,520 you realise it really, really hasn't. 386 00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:33,920 The Grand Tour - a show that cares. 387 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:38,840 This week it's disabled people 388 00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:42,440 and next week we're doing people who are BLT. 389 00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:44,040 Erm... that's a sandwich. 390 00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:46,320 What is it I mean? 391 00:23:46,360 --> 00:23:47,960 You mean, LGBT. 392 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:49,520 Yes, that. 393 00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:53,040 That's what I meant, not BLT. Er... anyway... 394 00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:55,960 It's lesbian, gay, bacon and tomato - that's the one. 395 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,400 That's my favourite sandwich, and we're doing that next week. 396 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:01,840 Later on, though, we'll be picking the race up, 397 00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:03,400 so don't go away. 398 00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:04,920 Absolutely, there'll be more of that later. 399 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:07,800 But now it is time for us to lean 400 00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:10,640 on the lamppost of chat, in Conversation Street. 401 00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:23,800 Right, yes, now - Formula One season is over, 402 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:25,800 and as we all know, I'm sure, 403 00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:27,840 Lewis Hamilton is world champion, 404 00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:30,040 and well done, him. 405 00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:32,000 I think we all agree on that. 406 00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:34,000 I'm sure the Baby Jesus was very pleased. 407 00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:35,520 - I don't doubt it. - They're like that. 408 00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:37,040 They're close. 409 00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:39,840 For me though, the highlight of the entire season 410 00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:42,160 was on the podium in Mexico, 411 00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:46,160 where Kimi Raikkonen set what I think is a new world record 412 00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:49,000 for the longest chug of champagne. 413 00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:50,760 - Did he? - Honestly. 414 00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:52,720 Everyone else is spraying it round. 415 00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:56,240 Back of shot... 416 00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:59,200 I thought, "I know the Finns like a drink, 417 00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:01,200 but he must have a titanium throat!" 418 00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:04,080 Imagine the burp he did afterwards, a whole bottle. 419 00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:05,600 It's staggering. 420 00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:07,760 I think the problem is for most people, 421 00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:10,120 champagne on the podium is a ritual, 422 00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:12,560 but for Kimi Raikkonen, it's just another drink, 423 00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:14,640 and he hasn't had one for at least two hours. 424 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:17,440 I often wonder - you know in Abu Dhabi, on the podium, 425 00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:19,560 they're given rose water, not champagne? 426 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:22,120 If Kimi's coming 3rd, he's thinking, 427 00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:26,080 "I've got to go on the podium for 20 minutes and drink rose water." 428 00:25:26,120 --> 00:25:28,400 "Oh, no, I'm 4th. 429 00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:30,320 Straight to my motorhome and have a beer". 430 00:25:30,360 --> 00:25:32,400 - Tuck in! - I mean, he is a Finn! 431 00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:34,200 That's what they do. 432 00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:37,960 Anyway, self-driving cars. We're told they're coming. 433 00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:40,120 - Yes. - We were told this week, 434 00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:41,920 actually, that there's a problem. 435 00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:45,360 In cities like New York, and I guess other cities around the world, 436 00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:47,280 people who drive them, indeed the cars themselves, 437 00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:48,800 are going to be bullied. 438 00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:50,960 - Bullied? - That's what they're saying. 439 00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:55,520 Obviously, these cars will be programmed to never run over a person, OK? 440 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:58,400 Which means you can just go and stand in front of them. 441 00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:00,160 I mean, you could. 442 00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:02,720 You could do better than that, you could probably herd them a bit. 443 00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:05,720 I could herd them and I would herd them. 444 00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:08,120 Can you imagine how sanctimonious 445 00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:11,920 the man sitting in his new self-driving car is gonna be with his paper? 446 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,720 "I'm not driving, I'm just reading the paper while it drives me home." 447 00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:16,440 If you just go, "Back up!" 448 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:18,760 It'll be going, "I mustn't run him over!" 449 00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:22,480 Back him into a river. That's what I'd do, I would. 450 00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:24,640 They'll have all those algorithms on board 451 00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:27,160 for moral decisions as to what they're gonna do. 452 00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:29,720 - So carry a fake baby. - Good plan! 453 00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:31,720 Walk up to it, the car will think, 454 00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:34,240 "Fake baby or fat, smug man in a business suit?" 455 00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:37,200 - He's going in the river. - This is exactly right. 456 00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:39,000 That would be tremendous. 457 00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:41,040 Sadly, I don't think we're going to see anything like 458 00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:43,200 an autonomous car until long after we're dead. 459 00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:44,880 No, I couldn't agree with you more. 460 00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:47,360 They are years and years and years away, decades away. 461 00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:51,600 It's such a complicated area to apply what is essentially robotics. 462 00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:53,400 You're dead right about robotics. 463 00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:56,840 I don't yet have a robot that could make me a cup of tea, 464 00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:59,160 which is quite simple, or bring me my slippers. 465 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:01,480 - Just domestic stuff. - Sex robots aren't here yet. 466 00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:03,120 That's people from Essex, isn't it? 467 00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:06,880 There's a TV show about that, isn't there? 468 00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:08,800 - Anyone from Essex? - Orange Sex... 469 00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:11,040 You're from Essex? There's a sex robot here, look. 470 00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:12,760 Hiya! 471 00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:15,160 That's what he thinks of you. I don't, personally. 472 00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:18,640 That's amazing. It's incredibly convincing! 473 00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:20,760 Can you go like that... 474 00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:24,200 Can we stop this conversation? It's gonna go somewhere wrong. 475 00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:26,520 The way I'd sum this up is this. 476 00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:29,320 Somebody says, "We've made this self-driving car, brilliant." 477 00:27:29,360 --> 00:27:33,040 I will take him to Bolivia, put him at the bottom of Death Road 478 00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:35,640 and say, "Sit in it, reading your paper 479 00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:38,920 while it drives you up there, passing all the buses with the 1,000-foot drop. 480 00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:41,640 If you're prepared to do that and you can reach the top 481 00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:45,200 with no poo in your underpants, I'll buy one." 482 00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:47,800 "Enjoy reading your newspaper on the way". It's not gonna work. 483 00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:50,240 No, right - "Agh!" 484 00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:52,280 That's covered self-driving cars. 485 00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:54,520 We needn't worry. Shall we move it on? 486 00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:57,040 Yes. Moving on. Interesting news this week - 487 00:27:57,080 --> 00:28:00,520 Jeremy has been approached to be the ambassador... 488 00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:02,200 - Oh, yeah! - ...for a vineyard 489 00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:04,600 - in the South of France. - Yes, I have. 490 00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:05,960 What are they thinking? 491 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,120 Imagine a better job than that. 492 00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:13,600 Oh, yeah. "I am the Ambassador for Chateau." 493 00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:15,960 How's that going to go? "Where is the Ambassador?" 494 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:18,760 "He's out the back, completely clattered, 495 00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:20,360 where he always is." 496 00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:22,360 You're not an ambassador, you're a customer! 497 00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:24,480 Sorry - he's out the back with pneumonia. 498 00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:28,320 - Ambassadorial pneumonia. - Still droning on about that? 499 00:28:28,360 --> 00:28:31,120 I don't know how it's going to work though, cos the problem is, 500 00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:33,280 the three of us have never had a commercial tie-in. 501 00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:36,160 You may be surprised to hear this - we dress ourselves. 502 00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:41,240 No, he doesn't mean we put our clothes on ourselves. 503 00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:42,760 We're not sponsored by a clothing company. 504 00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:44,520 I know you'll be staggered to hear that. 505 00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:47,240 - Model's own. - Yes, this is it. 506 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:50,280 I go into a shop and I choose these and I buy them 507 00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:52,120 with my money, watches and everything. 508 00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:54,000 We buy everything ourselves. 509 00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:56,640 That's why we don't know how it works, the commercial stuff. 510 00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:58,600 Actually, it's funny you should mention that, 511 00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:00,280 because you know that pink-and-purple-striped 512 00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:02,360 rugby-shirt thing I've had for years? 513 00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:04,440 - Yeah. - You know the one I mean. 514 00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:07,640 - It's a top. - I know, yeah. Top? 515 00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:09,160 - It's a top. - Did you say, "top"? 516 00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:11,480 - It's a top. - It's not a top! 517 00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:13,840 It's not a shirt, it's not a T-shirt. 518 00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:17,360 Hammond, I've never said this before and I promise I'll never say it again, 519 00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:19,240 but I'm with James May on this. 520 00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:21,840 - A man cannot wear a "top". - Ordinarily, no, 521 00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:25,160 but that is... Technically, it's a hooped top. 522 00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:28,440 Anyway, that's not the point. I was at an event once, 523 00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:31,160 and a man sidled up to me, took me to one side. 524 00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:33,080 He was from Gant, the big American clothing company 525 00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:35,880 - that made that thing originally, the shirt! - Top. 526 00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:40,120 He begged me, he said, "Please stop wearing it." 527 00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:41,720 And then... 528 00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:44,080 It got better than that. 529 00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:45,840 He says, "If you stop wearing it, 530 00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:48,320 you can have as many free clothes as you like." 531 00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:50,960 But I still said no because I'm an arse. 532 00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:56,440 Hey! What about... Why don't we do... 533 00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:58,520 - What? - Reverse sponsorship. 534 00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:00,560 It's just occurring to me. 535 00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:03,920 You know Levi's once said I'm ruining the Levi reputation? 536 00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:05,760 - They did! - Because I always wear Levi's. 537 00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:08,960 Why don't I say to them, "Give me 100 grand, 538 00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:10,600 I'll wear Rounders"? 539 00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:13,840 - Erm... - What about watches? 540 00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:15,880 I'm going to sit like this, 541 00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:17,800 and I'm going to say something deeply offensive 542 00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:20,200 to millions of people around the world, Omega! 543 00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:25,360 Unless you send me 50 grand, and I'll wear a Rolex, 544 00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:29,320 which is the watch of choice for all the world's arses. 545 00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:31,320 I'm not a lawyer... 546 00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:33,800 - Mm-hm? - ...but isn't that extortion? 547 00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:36,280 It is extortion. 548 00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:37,880 It just is. 549 00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:39,520 I've got a better idea. 550 00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:42,200 Why don't we say to people, they can put in bids 551 00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:44,480 to put their logo on the bottom of Richard Hammond's car? 552 00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:46,840 Because the chances are... 553 00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:50,040 Yes! 554 00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:52,400 Thank you! 555 00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:56,360 - Thank you. - Imagine the commentary. 556 00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:59,480 "Here comes Richard Hammond. Oh, no, he's gone off! Pepsi". 557 00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:03,360 - That's a very good idea. - Moving on. 558 00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:04,920 That's the end of Conversation Street. 559 00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:06,720 We must move it on with this. 560 00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:09,040 Imagine what it's like to be a car designer. 561 00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:11,120 You love cars, you always have. 562 00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:14,320 Your school exercise books were full of drawings of cars. 563 00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:15,960 You worked hard, you got to college, 564 00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,520 learned about geometry and proportions 565 00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:20,600 and classicism and airflow and legislation. 566 00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:23,480 Then one day you get your qualification, 567 00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:28,160 and you land your dream job somewhere like Mercedes-Benz. 568 00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:31,440 And you spend your first four years 569 00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:36,040 designing the new seat-belt release button for the A-Class hatchback. 570 00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:39,640 Exactly, or a tailgate handle for a van. Ooh! 571 00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:42,720 It's not exactly what they dreamed of as kids, 572 00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:44,320 is it, car designers? 573 00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:46,360 Which is why they occasionally get bolshie 574 00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:48,080 and they say to the management, 575 00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:51,640 "Look, would you please let us do something interesting?" 576 00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:56,360 And that is obviously what's happened with the new Mercedes GT R. 577 00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:18,480 You just know the designers have said, "Can it be green 578 00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:21,520 and can it have a mouth that could be used for sifting krill 579 00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:23,640 and can the bonnet be nine miles long 580 00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:27,520 and can it have bits of the Battlestar Galactica on its gills?" 581 00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:33,520 The bosses obviously thought, "They're being idiotic." 582 00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:37,400 But to keep them sweet, they let them get on with it. 583 00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:42,800 The upshot is a car that only really appeals 584 00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:45,760 to those that have a mental age of eight, 585 00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:49,320 and that's me and every other man. 586 00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:56,680 It even makes a childish noise. 587 00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:00,720 Just brilliant! 588 00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:09,640 Unfortunately however, 589 00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:13,120 because the stylists were allowed to do what they wanted, 590 00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:16,400 the engineers then stuck out their bottom lips 591 00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:18,960 and said they wanted a free hand too. 592 00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:26,040 The trouble is that unlike car stylists, 593 00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:29,040 who are flamboyant and usually drunk, 594 00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:32,280 car engineers tend to be very sensible. 595 00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:36,560 You can tell this just by looking at their trousers. 596 00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:40,600 So they fitted this with all sorts of sensible stuff. 597 00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:43,280 It's got a flap, for example, which lowers itself 598 00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:45,880 from the bottom of the car when you're going quickly 599 00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:47,960 to reduce the air pressure down there. 600 00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:52,040 That literally sucks the car into the Tarmac, 601 00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:54,080 giving you more grip. 602 00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:56,440 Then there's the traction control, 603 00:33:56,480 --> 00:33:59,080 which you can turn off using this button here. 604 00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:03,000 Then you can decide how off you'd like it to be 605 00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:06,640 using this piece of Lego here. 606 00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:10,160 You turn it that way, and it's really very off indeed. 607 00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:15,000 Then you swivel it round, and now it's only slightly off. 608 00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:18,360 I never knew "off" was a variable thing, 609 00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:19,720 but there you go. 610 00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:26,840 Other things - well, the body is made from carbon fibre 611 00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:31,400 and titanium and magnesium to make it light. 612 00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:34,720 And it's got two Venturi tunnels at the back 613 00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:37,600 and short gearing and four-wheel steering. 614 00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:46,880 There's so much techy stuff on the GT R, in fact, 615 00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:49,280 that it is really... 616 00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:51,200 ...very fast 617 00:34:51,240 --> 00:34:54,760 and extremely well sorted out. 618 00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:15,480 The turning, thanks to the four-wheel steering, 619 00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:18,040 is incredible, and when you go through 620 00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:22,240 Dentalcare Swindon, run by dentists for patients, 621 00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:26,640 it's like a small and very eager dog. 622 00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:28,520 Then you've got the gearbox, 623 00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:31,520 which I think was designed by Mystic Meg 624 00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:34,760 because it always seems to know 625 00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:37,080 what's going to happen next. 626 00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:41,240 It is uncanny! 627 00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:45,000 But the best thing is the braking. You ready? 628 00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:47,000 Watch this. 629 00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:55,600 Has my face actually come off? It has, hasn't it? 630 00:35:55,640 --> 00:35:59,320 Small wonder, then, that the GT R holds the lap record 631 00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:02,440 for rear-wheel drive cars at the Nurburgring, 632 00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:06,400 and that is its problem. 633 00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:10,720 Because AMG Mercs aren't really supposed to set lap records. 634 00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:14,160 They're not supposed to be particularly fast. 635 00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:18,360 You buy an AMG Merc cos you want it to do this... 636 00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:23,400 ...make a lot of noise 637 00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:27,880 while sliding through a cloud of its own tyre smoke. 638 00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:29,640 In an AMG Merc, 639 00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:33,040 you don't want to go round a corner crisply at 150, 640 00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:38,760 you want to go round smiling and sideways at about 27. 641 00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:42,880 And there's another thing too... 642 00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:45,960 ...the engine. 643 00:36:47,720 --> 00:36:49,840 It's a twin turbo-charged V8, 644 00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:54,760 which produces 577 horsepower, and that's a lot. 645 00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:57,800 But exactly the same engine in an E-Class saloon 646 00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:00,320 produces more than 600 horsepower. 647 00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:04,200 So why not use that engine in here? 648 00:37:09,240 --> 00:37:12,080 The only possible reason is that soon, 649 00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:14,360 there'll be a more powerful, 650 00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:16,400 even faster version of this car, 651 00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:18,880 so why buy this one now? 652 00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:22,160 It's a good question. 653 00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:25,080 I wouldn't. 654 00:37:40,160 --> 00:37:42,080 So, who would buy a car like that? 655 00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:44,040 I don't know, I've never met anyone 656 00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:47,040 who I think would like that car, would want to buy it. 657 00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:48,840 Besides all that, if you want something 658 00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:51,560 that feels like a Porsche, why not buy, say, a Porsche? 659 00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:54,080 Because Porsche are really good at making Porsches. 660 00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:55,400 - They are. - Yeah. 661 00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:56,800 They're so good at making Porsches 662 00:37:56,840 --> 00:37:59,360 that since you filmed that, their new GT2 663 00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:00,920 has gone round the Nurburgring 664 00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:02,080 faster than the GTR. 665 00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:03,840 The worst thing is, 666 00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:05,920 that's the first time I've ever filmed an AMG Merc 667 00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:07,200 and finished the day 668 00:38:07,240 --> 00:38:09,880 on the same set of tyres I started with. 669 00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:11,560 And I don't like that. 670 00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:14,920 I want an AMG Merc to eat its own feet in every corner. 671 00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:16,600 That's what it's for, yes. 672 00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:18,400 Anyway, if you are the sort of person 673 00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:21,520 who wants to buy a shouty, lime green car 674 00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:23,240 that looks mad but actually isn't, 675 00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:24,520 then you'll probably want to know 676 00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:27,040 how fast it goes around our Eboladrome. 677 00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:28,800 Yeah. Last year, that would have meant 678 00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:30,640 handing it over to the American. 679 00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:32,640 But we're not using him any more, 680 00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:35,680 because he didn't like coming to England. 681 00:38:35,720 --> 00:38:37,720 And because you all hated him. 682 00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:41,320 - Well, that too. - Little bit. 683 00:38:41,360 --> 00:38:43,440 But the point is, we needed a replacement, 684 00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:45,000 we needed a new driver. 685 00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:46,800 And we've spent the last nine months 686 00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:48,840 auditioning everyone we could think of. 687 00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:50,280 Former F1 drivers, 688 00:38:50,320 --> 00:38:52,320 rally drivers, stunt drivers, test drivers, 689 00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:55,320 until we ended up with the fastest. 690 00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:56,840 And here she is. 691 00:38:56,880 --> 00:39:00,640 Right, here we go. 692 00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:03,760 And she's off. Tidy start, no wheelspin, 693 00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:05,520 full power from the twin-turbo V8. 694 00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:07,880 To the first corner. Will she lift? 695 00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:10,000 No, it didn't sound like she did. 696 00:39:10,040 --> 00:39:13,680 Right, second corner, balancing the car nicely. 697 00:39:13,720 --> 00:39:16,760 God, that thing looks planted. 698 00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:18,640 Right, here we go, this is the tricky bit. 699 00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:20,840 Let's have a look how she's getting on round here. 700 00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:22,960 Ooh, that thing looks planted! 701 00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:24,600 And quick. 702 00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:26,560 She's on the raggedy edge on the down-changes. 703 00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:30,240 Michelins squealing in pain, but that is... 704 00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:33,240 Let's have a look. Yeah, inch-perfect. 705 00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:35,040 Now, back onto the Isn't. 706 00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:36,960 She really has only one throttle position here, 707 00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:40,280 and it is in the carpet. 708 00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:44,560 Lifting now, and into the Old Lady's House complex. 709 00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:48,000 Working the low-speed grip through there. 710 00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:53,280 Yeah, and back on the gas for the bumpy run to Substation. 711 00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:55,920 Showing no mercy down there. 712 00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:58,160 Leaving the braking nice and late. 713 00:39:58,200 --> 00:40:01,320 Tidy line through the second-to-last corner. 714 00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:02,960 Just Field of Sheep to go. 715 00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,720 Really on it through there, and across the line. 716 00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:09,240 That was an impressive lap, 717 00:40:09,280 --> 00:40:11,640 but let's see how fast it was. 718 00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:13,160 Here we go. 719 00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:14,800 Past the... Oh, it's quicker. 720 00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:17,040 Yes! 721 00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:18,880 Bloody hell! 722 00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:24,400 1:18.7. That is quick. 723 00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:26,840 Yeah, it is, and she is an incredible driver. 724 00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:29,120 She's a phenomenal driver, absolutely phenomenal. 725 00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:31,880 We are delighted to have her on board. 726 00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:36,040 But now it is time to move on to Celebrity Face-Off. 727 00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:53,000 Yes. And once again it is an international event 728 00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:55,800 as baseball takes on cricket. 729 00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:57,960 In short, we're trying to find out 730 00:40:58,000 --> 00:40:59,800 who is the fastest person in the world 731 00:40:59,840 --> 00:41:03,400 who earns a living from throwing and catching small balls. 732 00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:06,320 So would you please welcome 733 00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:08,600 Kevin Pietersen and Brian Wilson. 734 00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:12,480 Gentlemen! 735 00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:13,560 Hello, sir. 736 00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:15,720 - Kevin, how are you? - Good. 737 00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:17,400 Good. Have a seat. 738 00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:19,160 Brian. Good to see you. 739 00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:22,400 That is a look! 740 00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:27,000 That is a look you've got going there. 741 00:41:27,040 --> 00:41:29,000 First of all, thank you very much for coming. 742 00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:30,400 Thanks for having us. 743 00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:32,120 And let's begin with a simple one, OK? 744 00:41:32,160 --> 00:41:33,600 Actually, it's not that simple. 745 00:41:33,640 --> 00:41:36,200 Kevin, could you explain to our American viewers 746 00:41:36,240 --> 00:41:38,840 what cricket is? 747 00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:41,000 I think I'm very lucky, we've got... 748 00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:42,240 I'm bored already actually! 749 00:41:43,960 --> 00:41:47,440 - No, go on, have another bash. - No. 750 00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:49,920 Just cos I don't like it and it gives me hay fever. 751 00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:51,440 Go on. 752 00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:53,840 Yeah, it's very difficult. For American... 753 00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:55,960 I play a lot of golf with a lot of American people 754 00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:57,760 and they literally, after two minutes, 755 00:41:57,800 --> 00:41:59,680 tell me to go away, swearing at me, 756 00:41:59,720 --> 00:42:02,680 because how can you play a game for five days and not get a result? 757 00:42:02,720 --> 00:42:04,360 But there's T20s that Brian knows about, 758 00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:06,880 he's been to India, he's played T20s in India, 759 00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:08,440 and it's a pretty cool game. 760 00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:12,000 - I reckon you could do a T20. - No, I couldn't. 761 00:42:12,040 --> 00:42:14,600 With cricket, you stand there in the outfield, 762 00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:18,120 the ball, super-heated from re-entry, 763 00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:20,040 is coming, "Ah, ah, ah," 764 00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:22,640 and then it always lands right on the end of your... 765 00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:24,680 - "Gah!" - That finger? 766 00:42:24,720 --> 00:42:26,880 - Yeah, and everyone shouts. - That's convenient. 767 00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:29,600 Everybody shouts, and you drop the ball, 768 00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:31,800 and you're batting and some enormous man... 769 00:42:31,840 --> 00:42:34,320 It's miserable, it goes on, as you say, five days. 770 00:42:34,360 --> 00:42:36,240 Actually, before we move on, 771 00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:38,640 perhaps you could explain to the British viewers 772 00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:40,360 what baseball is. 773 00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:41,600 It's not much more exciting. 774 00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:47,400 - I've seen... - It's a little faster. 775 00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:48,880 I've seen clips of it in films, 776 00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:50,880 like Good Will Hunting, there's a scene of it. 777 00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:52,200 It's rounders. 778 00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:56,480 - Now, I just learned... - It is rounders, isn't it? 779 00:42:56,520 --> 00:42:58,400 I just learned what rounders was today, 780 00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:01,160 and in all fairness, no, no, it's not like that. 781 00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:03,400 Men play this sport as well. 782 00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:07,080 Can you be drunk while playing baseball? 783 00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:09,600 - You can be, I guess, yeah. - Cos you are... 784 00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:11,200 Everyone is in cricket, I presume. 785 00:43:11,240 --> 00:43:13,680 We're all piss-heads. Cricketers are piss-heads. 786 00:43:13,720 --> 00:43:15,280 The great celebrated cricketers, 787 00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:17,720 the Flintoffs, the Warnes, piss-heads. 788 00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:20,440 - Piss-heads? - Piss-heads, yeah. 789 00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:22,520 - It's OK. - You can say that? 790 00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:23,760 Or as we call them, ambassadors. 791 00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:29,640 With pneumonia. That's what it is. 792 00:43:32,760 --> 00:43:34,960 I was astonished to read the other day 793 00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:37,640 about the England cricket team and how... 794 00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:39,640 Actually, the Australian cricket team as well, 795 00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:41,400 I presume it's the same in South Africa, 796 00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:44,400 is how much drinking went on at the "tea break". 797 00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:45,960 Yeah. There's a world record 798 00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:48,480 for the amount of alcohol consumed on an aeroplane 799 00:43:48,520 --> 00:43:51,280 by a cricketer from Australia for the Ashes, 800 00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:54,440 and there was an Australian cricketer drank 52 beers 801 00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:56,320 on his way over from Australia. 802 00:43:56,360 --> 00:43:57,960 That's aggressive. That's aggressive. 803 00:43:58,000 --> 00:43:59,440 That's a big amount. 804 00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:01,480 - That's a big amount. - That's a lot of drunk. 805 00:44:01,520 --> 00:44:04,520 Now, we must move on to cars, if we may, 806 00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:06,520 - having covered the sport. - Sure. 807 00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:09,160 Maybe begin with you, Brian, OK? 808 00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:10,960 You had, I think it's fair to say, 809 00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:13,680 an inauspicious start to your driving career. 810 00:44:13,720 --> 00:44:15,560 It wasn't the best start, no. 811 00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:18,840 So, 16, got my licence. 812 00:44:18,880 --> 00:44:22,440 First day, I got a speeding ticket, that was expected. 813 00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:24,600 Second day, though, it's about 1am, 814 00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:26,840 apparently we have a curfew I didn't know about, 815 00:44:26,880 --> 00:44:28,920 you have to be in bed by a certain time. 816 00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:31,040 As a 16-year-old, I'm thinking, "No, I don't." 817 00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:33,680 So I rolled through the stop sign, 818 00:44:33,720 --> 00:44:35,760 and I see the blue lights, and I'm thinking, 819 00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:39,000 "I'm in a '94 Thunderbird, this is a V8 engine." 820 00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:40,800 So I speed. 821 00:44:40,840 --> 00:44:42,440 Now I'm getting in a police chase. 822 00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:44,480 - Now the adrenaline's going. - Second day? 823 00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:45,840 The second day. 824 00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:47,560 I'm driving around my neighbourhood, 825 00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:49,480 and I accidentally hit an electrical box 826 00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:51,880 and the power goes out and I feel really bad. 827 00:44:53,440 --> 00:44:54,960 But I left this guy in the dust. 828 00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:59,000 Like, I got all the way to my driveway. 829 00:44:59,040 --> 00:45:00,720 But because I turned the keys off... 830 00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:03,360 The car was automatic lights. 831 00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:06,720 So the cop just followed the lights 832 00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:09,360 and arrested me in my driveway, my front yard. 833 00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:11,560 And so what do you get for that, for... 834 00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:14,760 What do you get? You get to go to jail, you get a free ride. 835 00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:18,120 And I'm amazed they pull you over, 836 00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:21,160 cos you look like an accountant, I mean... 837 00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:24,120 This is a slow Tuesday. See me on the weekends! 838 00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:27,440 So, Kevin, your first car was a Nissan... 839 00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:29,440 - Pulsar. - Which is a bit boring. 840 00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:31,880 It's not as good as his V8 Thunderbird, is it? 841 00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:33,880 It is boring, apart from a couple of gadgets. 842 00:45:33,920 --> 00:45:35,120 I got a couple of gadgets 843 00:45:35,160 --> 00:45:38,160 that were put in by my late grandfather. 844 00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:40,600 And in South Africa, the crime rate's pretty severe, 845 00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:43,760 so there was a switch he had put underneath the ignition 846 00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:45,840 you had to flip before you could turn the car. 847 00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:48,080 If you didn't flip it within 20 seconds, the car... 848 00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:50,760 Would explode, killing everybody within 40 yards. 849 00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:53,320 - That's safe! - The South African way. 850 00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:54,920 There was another one, 851 00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:56,800 every time you put it into reverse, "Doo, doo, doo." 852 00:45:56,840 --> 00:45:58,960 I'm a cool 18-year-old driving around Durban, 853 00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:01,760 I put it in reverse, everyone goes, "Where's the (BLEEP) truck?" 854 00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:05,160 It was a little red Nissan Pulsar, 855 00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:06,920 "Doo, doo, doo, doo," out of it. 856 00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:09,400 So really, you're basically a slightly more wild driver. 857 00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:11,960 Did you not buy a police car at one stage? 858 00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:14,960 I did have a police car. 859 00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:17,760 And I did get pulled over in that. So... 860 00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:20,120 Again, why would you get pulled over? 861 00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:21,800 It wasn't my fault, though. 862 00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:24,440 They said I was trying to impersonate a police officer, 863 00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:26,800 which I wasn't, it was just a cool car to drive in. 864 00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:30,560 I may have pulled a friend over as a joke. 865 00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:32,880 - But who wouldn't? - Did you have sirens and all? 866 00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:33,880 Yeah, you have sirens. 867 00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:37,080 Have you ever gone anywhere in a car 868 00:46:37,120 --> 00:46:39,880 and not been pulled over by the police? 869 00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:42,080 Just thinking, going back to the sporting thing, 870 00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:44,400 when you played cricket briefly in India, 871 00:46:44,440 --> 00:46:46,600 you managed to get into trouble with that one. 872 00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:48,480 - Yeah, and felt really bad. - Really? 873 00:46:48,520 --> 00:46:51,800 So, well, where I was, it was just a large field 874 00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:53,800 and there might have been 100 games going on, 875 00:46:53,840 --> 00:46:56,360 all the kids from around local playing, 876 00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:58,040 and they said, "Hey, you wanna try?" 877 00:46:58,080 --> 00:47:00,160 So no one tells me any of these rules, 878 00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:01,520 so there's these three little... 879 00:47:01,560 --> 00:47:03,480 - What do you call, wickets? - Wickets. 880 00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:04,840 - Stumps. - "OK, what do I do?" 881 00:47:04,880 --> 00:47:06,960 They give me this paddle-looking thing, 882 00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:09,200 and like, "Just stand there, 883 00:47:09,240 --> 00:47:11,000 and then this guy's gonna throw to you." 884 00:47:11,040 --> 00:47:13,680 He throws it, it hits the ground, I'm like, "What? 885 00:47:13,720 --> 00:47:15,640 That's a bad pitch." And it hits the wickets, 886 00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:17,320 and all the kids start laughing at me. 887 00:47:17,360 --> 00:47:20,040 "What are you guys laughing at? Give me another shot!" 888 00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:23,000 So I stand up, pff, just absolutely destroy it. 889 00:47:23,040 --> 00:47:26,160 It leaves the park, it hits an apartment building, 890 00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:29,640 and I'm just like, "I'm the greatest!" 891 00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:31,840 The guy that brought me there told me 892 00:47:31,880 --> 00:47:33,480 that's the only ball that they have. 893 00:47:36,080 --> 00:47:39,560 And immediately I just went, "Oh. 894 00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:41,480 I feel terrible." 895 00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:44,600 "We've had that ball in our town for three generations." 896 00:47:44,640 --> 00:47:46,160 - They would have. - Treasure it. 897 00:47:46,200 --> 00:47:49,760 Now, going back to cars, you, at one stage, 898 00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:52,800 as I understand it, had a Vauxhall Vectra. 899 00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:53,960 I did. 900 00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:56,000 And you said to our researcher 901 00:47:56,040 --> 00:47:57,920 when they called you the other day, 902 00:47:57,960 --> 00:48:01,760 "I have nothing particularly interesting to say about that." 903 00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:04,160 I've been known to be a straight-shooter. 904 00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:06,920 Put it there. I once had to do a TV show 905 00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:08,480 where I was asked to review one of those, 906 00:48:08,520 --> 00:48:10,320 and couldn't think of a thing. 907 00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:12,960 It was four wheels and a (BLEEP) seat. 908 00:48:14,160 --> 00:48:15,400 Why did you have one? 909 00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:17,880 The team were sponsored by Vauxhall. 910 00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:19,640 You were sponsored by Vauxhall? 911 00:48:19,680 --> 00:48:21,280 Oh, I'd have gone and done another sport. 912 00:48:23,760 --> 00:48:26,360 Now, we must get on to why you are here. 913 00:48:26,400 --> 00:48:29,720 Obviously, you're only the second group of people we've had around the track. 914 00:48:29,760 --> 00:48:31,520 - How was it out there? - It was... 915 00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:33,960 I found it comfortable on the tar, 916 00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:36,920 but as soon as we veered off there, it was difficult. 917 00:48:36,960 --> 00:48:38,880 - It was intimidating. - Is it? 918 00:48:38,920 --> 00:48:41,760 I (BLEEP) loved it! 919 00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:43,680 There were grass clippings all over the car, 920 00:48:43,720 --> 00:48:47,000 I just took it off-road a little bit, it was fun. 921 00:48:47,040 --> 00:48:48,240 Yeah, I've been hearing. 922 00:48:48,280 --> 00:48:49,920 We can get it mended for next week. 923 00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:51,760 Kevin, we're gonna see your lap first. 924 00:48:51,800 --> 00:48:54,200 OK, let's bring it up and see how you got on. 925 00:48:54,240 --> 00:48:56,040 Is that a slow-motion start? 926 00:48:56,080 --> 00:48:58,800 Oh, no, you're building up speed as you cross the line. 927 00:48:58,840 --> 00:49:00,440 Come on, Kevin! 928 00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:02,280 Ooh, that's a determined-looking face. 929 00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:03,880 Clipping the corner, 930 00:49:03,920 --> 00:49:06,200 but keeping two wheels on the track, nice to see. 931 00:49:06,240 --> 00:49:08,600 Yes, you've done what I do. You brake there 932 00:49:08,640 --> 00:49:10,160 and then you've got a slingshot 933 00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:12,280 into what we're calling the Difficult Bit. 934 00:49:12,320 --> 00:49:14,640 That's when it goes really skatey as you... 935 00:49:14,680 --> 00:49:16,160 You've really gotta pay... 936 00:49:16,200 --> 00:49:17,800 Ooh, I say, that's rather good. 937 00:49:17,840 --> 00:49:19,640 For a man who grew up with a Pulsar. 938 00:49:19,680 --> 00:49:22,480 Kevin, you absolute numpty! 939 00:49:22,520 --> 00:49:25,160 Right, oh, look at that, it's got the tail out. 940 00:49:25,200 --> 00:49:27,480 Yeah, got the tail out, got him going good. 941 00:49:27,520 --> 00:49:29,080 Traction control saved it, 942 00:49:29,120 --> 00:49:31,920 now you can floor it through to Difficult Bit 2. 943 00:49:33,880 --> 00:49:35,480 Oh, she's going all right. Nicely done. 944 00:49:35,520 --> 00:49:37,120 - That was tough. - Yeah. 945 00:49:37,160 --> 00:49:39,360 It is a tough bit. This is really slippery 946 00:49:39,400 --> 00:49:40,880 when you come back on the Tarmac, 947 00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:42,320 you think that's OK, and it isn't. 948 00:49:44,400 --> 00:49:46,240 Tyres being absolutely tortured, 949 00:49:46,280 --> 00:49:47,560 that's looking nice. 950 00:49:47,600 --> 00:49:49,040 Right, onto the straight. 951 00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:51,320 Come on, baby! Come on, baby! 952 00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:54,480 It's more exciting than cricket, way more! 953 00:49:54,520 --> 00:49:56,280 As is being asleep. 954 00:49:56,320 --> 00:49:58,160 Were you flat-out through there? 955 00:49:58,200 --> 00:50:00,200 I was flat-out through there, then I messed this up. 956 00:50:00,240 --> 00:50:01,800 Ooh! I'm not... 957 00:50:01,840 --> 00:50:03,440 Yeah, I messed it up, I missed the curve. 958 00:50:03,480 --> 00:50:04,880 Ballsy flat-out through there, 959 00:50:04,920 --> 00:50:06,960 but you crossed the line, you did it. 960 00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:10,360 I got it. Time? 961 00:50:11,520 --> 00:50:12,400 So... 962 00:50:13,720 --> 00:50:15,600 Time? 963 00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:17,160 - Patience. - Time? 964 00:50:17,200 --> 00:50:19,680 You're a cricketer, we know you have patience. 965 00:50:19,720 --> 00:50:20,960 OK. 966 00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:22,880 Because what else is there to have? 967 00:50:22,920 --> 00:50:24,880 - It wasn't bad. - No, it looked OK. 968 00:50:24,920 --> 00:50:26,480 - Brian. - Yes. 969 00:50:28,120 --> 00:50:30,680 - Want to see his lap? - Yeah. 970 00:50:30,720 --> 00:50:32,120 Come on, let's see Brian's. 971 00:50:33,920 --> 00:50:35,360 Oh. 972 00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:37,240 Right, no creeping across the line. 973 00:50:37,280 --> 00:50:41,160 And here we go! Yee! 974 00:50:41,200 --> 00:50:43,840 That is a colourful comb... That's a... 975 00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:46,960 Cheat. He's cheating! Cheat! 976 00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:48,680 He's a cheat! 977 00:50:48,720 --> 00:50:52,200 It's not Formula One, 978 00:50:52,240 --> 00:50:55,160 we won't penalise him for this, we have no stewards. 979 00:50:55,200 --> 00:50:56,480 Oh! 980 00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:58,960 Oh, my God! Coming in hot! 981 00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:01,400 Holding it well, though, 982 00:51:01,440 --> 00:51:04,080 and, I must say, that is exuberant. 983 00:51:04,120 --> 00:51:07,600 He's on fire! 984 00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:10,560 Into the gravel cell, the banked gravel corner, 985 00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:12,600 nicely done through there. 986 00:51:12,640 --> 00:51:15,280 Look at those stones coming off the back of that. 987 00:51:15,320 --> 00:51:16,840 Difficult Bit 2. 988 00:51:16,880 --> 00:51:18,960 Floor it. 989 00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:21,000 You don't think this is gonna be slippery but it is. 990 00:51:21,040 --> 00:51:22,840 Every time, that happens. 991 00:51:22,880 --> 00:51:24,640 Nicely held, though, Brian. 992 00:51:24,680 --> 00:51:26,360 You really do get around. 993 00:51:26,400 --> 00:51:29,720 And there he is, onto the main straight and relaxing. 994 00:51:29,760 --> 00:51:31,800 Yoo! 995 00:51:31,840 --> 00:51:33,600 Well, not completely relaxing. 996 00:51:33,640 --> 00:51:35,440 Were you flat through here, as well? 997 00:51:35,480 --> 00:51:37,400 Ooh. 998 00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:39,720 I took it... Flat-out, that's good. 999 00:51:39,760 --> 00:51:40,800 Braking hard. 1000 00:51:42,440 --> 00:51:44,160 Not bad at all. 1001 00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:46,320 And there we are, across the line, that's both of them. 1002 00:51:55,920 --> 00:51:59,760 Right. Now, I've got your times here. 1003 00:51:59,800 --> 00:52:02,680 I'll tell you one thing, they're very, very close. 1004 00:52:02,720 --> 00:52:05,160 So you were kind of smooth and crickety. 1005 00:52:05,200 --> 00:52:08,120 - Yeah. - You were kind of exuberant. 1006 00:52:08,160 --> 00:52:11,280 - Yeah. - They are ridiculously close. 1007 00:52:11,320 --> 00:52:13,200 - OK, here we go. - The suspense. 1008 00:52:13,240 --> 00:52:14,520 - I mean, come on. - Yeah. 1009 00:52:14,560 --> 00:52:16,800 - Killing me. - OK, Kevin. 1010 00:52:18,480 --> 00:52:21,040 - 1:17.2. - 1:17.2? 1011 00:52:21,080 --> 00:52:23,800 So at the moment, you're the fastest man 1012 00:52:23,840 --> 00:52:26,840 who's ever been round our track. 1013 00:52:26,880 --> 00:52:28,400 - Until... - This precise moment. 1014 00:52:28,440 --> 00:52:30,080 Until about 30 seconds. 1015 00:52:36,680 --> 00:52:38,000 Brian Wilson... 1016 00:52:38,040 --> 00:52:41,880 - Ooh. - 1:17... 1017 00:52:41,920 --> 00:52:43,800 - Ooh. - Point one. 1018 00:52:43,840 --> 00:52:46,480 - Give it to me. - ..five. 1019 00:52:46,520 --> 00:52:47,840 - Damn it! - Ah! 1020 00:52:47,880 --> 00:52:51,160 Seriously, 0.3 of a second. 1021 00:52:51,200 --> 00:52:52,160 Well done, sir. 1022 00:52:57,160 --> 00:53:00,560 - That's close. - That is nice. 1023 00:53:00,600 --> 00:53:02,840 That is a nice result, I'm very pleased with that. 1024 00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:05,960 And there we are, you are still the fastest man 1025 00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:07,320 who's been round our track. 1026 00:53:07,360 --> 00:53:09,240 You have come a long way for nothing. 1027 00:53:09,280 --> 00:53:11,120 Thank you. 1028 00:53:11,160 --> 00:53:13,640 - Literally nothing... - Much appreciated. 1029 00:53:13,680 --> 00:53:15,800 So, honestly, I mean it's been an absolute joy 1030 00:53:15,840 --> 00:53:18,120 - having you both here... - Came here for the sheep. 1031 00:53:18,160 --> 00:53:20,040 Yeah, no, take one home. 1032 00:53:20,080 --> 00:53:22,200 So there we are, ladies and gentlemen, 1033 00:53:22,240 --> 00:53:25,520 Brian Wilson, and the fastest person who makes a living 1034 00:53:25,560 --> 00:53:27,880 by throwing and hitting and catching small balls, 1035 00:53:27,920 --> 00:53:30,320 Kevin Pietersen! 1036 00:53:32,160 --> 00:53:33,840 Thank you, sir. Thank you. 1037 00:53:37,680 --> 00:53:38,920 Right. 1038 00:53:38,960 --> 00:53:43,680 Now, this week we are having a race 1039 00:53:43,720 --> 00:53:46,840 from Central Park in New York to Niagara Falls, 1040 00:53:46,880 --> 00:53:49,480 and it's Jeremy in the new Ford GT 1041 00:53:49,520 --> 00:53:51,160 against James and me 1042 00:53:51,200 --> 00:53:53,520 in a whole selection of public transport. 1043 00:53:53,560 --> 00:53:55,200 Yes, and when we left the action, 1044 00:53:55,240 --> 00:53:57,640 Jeremy was miles ahead in the car, 1045 00:53:57,680 --> 00:54:00,240 slowly going deaf from the drone of the engine. 1046 00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:02,960 But now we were about to haul him in 1047 00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:06,160 as we boarded the flight to Buffalo. 1048 00:54:15,200 --> 00:54:16,840 - Thank you. - Thank you. 1049 00:54:20,280 --> 00:54:22,360 Ow! Sorry. 1050 00:54:22,400 --> 00:54:26,080 Get out of the way. Get out of the way, I'm in a race. 1051 00:54:27,360 --> 00:54:29,320 Hello. Hello. 1052 00:54:29,360 --> 00:54:32,160 Don't get in the way of someone 1053 00:54:32,200 --> 00:54:35,680 who's just given up a 43-year smoking habit. 1054 00:54:35,720 --> 00:54:37,760 Meanwhile... 1055 00:54:37,800 --> 00:54:39,240 Has he got to go in that? 1056 00:54:39,280 --> 00:54:40,160 Yes. 1057 00:54:43,960 --> 00:54:45,840 OK, see you on board. 1058 00:54:48,080 --> 00:54:50,560 - Welcome aboard. - Hello. Thank you. 1059 00:54:50,600 --> 00:54:51,560 Oh, God. 1060 00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:54,560 Hello. Hello. 1061 00:54:57,760 --> 00:54:59,360 Yeah. 1062 00:54:59,400 --> 00:55:00,760 OK. 1063 00:55:07,400 --> 00:55:10,000 Having covered 160 miles, 1064 00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:14,880 the GT's tiny tank was now nearly empty. 1065 00:55:14,920 --> 00:55:20,280 This is a splash-and-dash. Right, petroleum. 1066 00:55:20,320 --> 00:55:21,560 Oh, please let it not be 1067 00:55:21,600 --> 00:55:23,440 one of those stupid American ones 1068 00:55:23,480 --> 00:55:25,520 where I've gotta pay first, I don't know how much I want. 1069 00:55:28,280 --> 00:55:29,840 Sadly, it was. 1070 00:55:29,880 --> 00:55:32,920 No. Not a debit card. 1071 00:55:34,080 --> 00:55:36,040 I haven't got one... Ah. 1072 00:55:39,200 --> 00:55:40,920 What? 1073 00:55:40,960 --> 00:55:43,320 All exits are marked with a sign overhead... 1074 00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:46,440 It's very unusual having business class at the back, isn't it? 1075 00:55:46,480 --> 00:55:48,720 Imagine what it's like at the front. 1076 00:55:48,760 --> 00:55:50,520 Must be sort of like there. 1077 00:55:50,560 --> 00:55:52,920 It's quite good if you sit at the back in business class, 1078 00:55:52,960 --> 00:55:54,480 survey the whole aeroplane. 1079 00:55:55,840 --> 00:55:57,760 This is an Embraer 190. 1080 00:55:57,800 --> 00:55:59,640 I can tell you a bit about these actually. 1081 00:55:59,680 --> 00:56:01,040 Prepare for departure. 1082 00:56:01,080 --> 00:56:03,720 Oh, dear, you can't, he's talking. 1083 00:56:03,760 --> 00:56:05,840 Hello. Can I... The pump says... 1084 00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:07,440 It's just coming up "not approved". 1085 00:56:07,480 --> 00:56:09,600 Does it have a chip? It's probably the chip. 1086 00:56:09,640 --> 00:56:11,120 How do I pay? Cos... 1087 00:56:11,160 --> 00:56:13,040 I'll turn the pump on, you pump what you need 1088 00:56:13,080 --> 00:56:15,200 and I'll let you run the card when you're done. 1089 00:56:15,240 --> 00:56:17,520 Thank you so much. 1090 00:56:17,560 --> 00:56:19,360 If you talk like Hugh Grant, you can get anywhere. 1091 00:56:25,800 --> 00:56:28,400 Any minute now, Richard Hammond and James May 1092 00:56:28,440 --> 00:56:31,480 will be thinking, "Mmm, a beer, I think." 1093 00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:36,960 Anyway, here we go, let's catch him up. 1094 00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:38,200 Definitely. 1095 00:56:44,080 --> 00:56:47,200 I think we should celebrate our progress right now, 1096 00:56:47,240 --> 00:56:48,800 as we're moving so well. 1097 00:56:48,840 --> 00:56:50,240 - Hello. - Hello. 1098 00:56:50,280 --> 00:56:52,400 - Hi. - Can we have beer? 1099 00:56:52,440 --> 00:56:55,720 - Two beers, please. - Let me see. 1100 00:56:55,760 --> 00:56:57,520 So, as it turns out, 1101 00:56:57,560 --> 00:57:00,400 unfortunately I won't be able to serve you any beer today. 1102 00:57:00,440 --> 00:57:02,360 Can I offer you a water, Coke, Sprite? 1103 00:57:02,400 --> 00:57:04,440 - You've got no beer? - No, I'm sorry. 1104 00:57:04,480 --> 00:57:07,320 Wine. Wine? Two glasses of wine? White wine. 1105 00:57:07,360 --> 00:57:08,960 I'm not quite too sure why, 1106 00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:10,760 but unfortunately I won't be able to. 1107 00:57:10,800 --> 00:57:12,440 Can I get you some other beverages? 1108 00:57:14,360 --> 00:57:17,360 However, while they were squashed and thirsty, 1109 00:57:17,400 --> 00:57:19,200 there was no getting round the fact 1110 00:57:19,240 --> 00:57:23,120 that they were doing 500mph, and I wasn't. 1111 00:57:25,280 --> 00:57:29,000 Come on, fellow Ford driver, get out of the way, please. 1112 00:57:30,320 --> 00:57:31,560 You've got a Ford! 1113 00:57:34,400 --> 00:57:36,320 We are gonna be reeling him in now. 1114 00:57:36,360 --> 00:57:38,360 We're not gonna get stuck behind anything. 1115 00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:39,560 - No. - In traffic. 1116 00:57:39,600 --> 00:57:41,920 No. Nobody is gonna have a puncture. 1117 00:57:41,960 --> 00:57:43,560 Or shed the load from a pick-up truck. 1118 00:57:43,600 --> 00:57:44,480 No. 1119 00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:49,840 My biggest problem, though, 1120 00:57:49,880 --> 00:57:53,720 was the woeful lane discipline. 1121 00:57:53,760 --> 00:57:56,480 And you're gonna stay in that lane, are you, really? 1122 00:57:58,040 --> 00:57:59,720 Undertaking. 1123 00:57:59,760 --> 00:58:03,320 This is allowed in the United States and America. 1124 00:58:05,840 --> 00:58:10,800 You can see why. People don't use their mirrors. 1125 00:58:10,840 --> 00:58:12,640 It was a problem. 1126 00:58:12,680 --> 00:58:16,480 And then there was a bigger one. 1127 00:58:16,520 --> 00:58:20,680 What the hell's this? I'm in a traffic jam. 1128 00:58:20,720 --> 00:58:24,880 A bloody traffic jam. No. 1129 00:58:24,920 --> 00:58:27,040 We're about to begin our descent 1130 00:58:27,080 --> 00:58:28,320 into the Buffalo airport. 1131 00:58:28,360 --> 00:58:30,000 We'll be on the ground shortly. 1132 00:58:30,040 --> 00:58:31,360 Look. 1133 00:58:31,400 --> 00:58:33,800 Is there a fat idiot in a very fast Ford? 1134 00:58:33,840 --> 00:58:36,080 - Nope. - Good. 1135 00:58:38,880 --> 00:58:40,600 Why is there a traffic jam? And it's a bad one. 1136 00:58:40,640 --> 00:58:41,920 Look, we're all stopped. 1137 00:58:46,040 --> 00:58:49,240 Come on. Come on, come on. Come on, come on, come on. 1138 00:58:51,760 --> 00:58:54,600 Go, go, go, go, go. Chair, please. 1139 00:58:56,200 --> 00:58:58,040 Oh, shit. 1140 00:59:03,720 --> 00:59:06,440 There we go. I'm in. 1141 00:59:07,920 --> 00:59:12,280 Blimey! Yeah, that is... I am safe. 1142 00:59:12,320 --> 00:59:15,080 Incident. There's been an accident. 1143 00:59:15,120 --> 00:59:17,800 There's the problem. Jesus. 1144 00:59:20,200 --> 00:59:23,160 We have some time to make up. 1145 00:59:23,200 --> 00:59:26,600 Seeing an accident like that normally slows you down, 1146 00:59:26,640 --> 00:59:27,840 but I couldn't do that. 1147 00:59:27,880 --> 00:59:32,120 I was upholding the honour of the car. 1148 00:59:32,160 --> 00:59:35,280 They should be landing in about ten minutes. 1149 00:59:37,480 --> 00:59:38,760 Oh, no. 1150 00:59:38,800 --> 00:59:41,360 May? You've landed? 1151 00:59:41,400 --> 00:59:44,440 - Yes! Yes. - James, too loud. Too loud. 1152 00:59:44,480 --> 00:59:46,640 Where are you? 1153 00:59:46,680 --> 00:59:49,960 I'm 130 miles from Buffalo. 1154 00:59:50,000 --> 00:59:53,600 He's 130 miles away. 1155 00:59:53,640 --> 00:59:55,240 Well, you better get a move on then 1156 00:59:55,280 --> 00:59:57,960 in your 200 and whatever it is mile-an-hour car. 1157 00:59:58,000 --> 00:59:59,520 I... Oh. 1158 00:59:59,560 --> 01:00:01,040 - That's... - Keep going. 1159 01:00:01,080 --> 01:00:03,080 Oh, for God's.... Shut up. 1160 01:00:03,120 --> 01:00:04,400 Bye. 1161 01:00:04,440 --> 01:00:08,080 Right, where do we get the bus? 1162 01:00:08,120 --> 01:00:11,360 We now only had a couple of dozen miles to go. 1163 01:00:11,400 --> 01:00:13,080 We'd catch a bus into Buffalo 1164 01:00:13,120 --> 01:00:14,880 and then another to the finish line 1165 01:00:14,920 --> 01:00:16,360 at the Niagara Falls. 1166 01:00:19,080 --> 01:00:20,800 Trying to think where this went wrong. 1167 01:00:20,840 --> 01:00:23,120 George Washington Bridge, that didn't help. 1168 01:00:23,160 --> 01:00:26,840 The accident and the traffic jam that resulted, that didn't help. 1169 01:00:26,880 --> 01:00:28,440 But I think the main problem 1170 01:00:28,480 --> 01:00:30,960 is that Jet Blue managed to do 1171 01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:35,800 an hour and 15 minute flight in an hour. 1172 01:00:35,840 --> 01:00:37,680 Oh, I say. 1173 01:00:37,720 --> 01:00:39,720 Oh, I see, it folds out like that? 1174 01:00:39,760 --> 01:00:42,040 - That's very clever. - Here we go. 1175 01:00:42,080 --> 01:00:44,800 - Thank you. - Aligned. 1176 01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:47,040 - There's a wheelchair section right over there. - Thank you very much. 1177 01:00:50,160 --> 01:00:53,280 Come on. Yay! 1178 01:00:53,320 --> 01:00:57,360 The Trump enthusiast has pulled over! 1179 01:00:58,880 --> 01:01:02,160 Right, let's find out where he is. 1180 01:01:05,080 --> 01:01:08,160 It's Mr Bell End. Hammond, where are you? 1181 01:01:08,200 --> 01:01:10,720 Leaving the airport on a bus. 1182 01:01:10,760 --> 01:01:14,200 Right. Well, I'm 90 miles behind you. 1183 01:01:14,240 --> 01:01:18,440 You're gonna have to make that up in no time. 1184 01:01:18,480 --> 01:01:21,200 How far are you from Niagara Falls now? 1185 01:01:21,240 --> 01:01:23,520 23 miles. 1186 01:01:25,120 --> 01:01:27,240 I'd say you could be doomed. 1187 01:01:27,280 --> 01:01:30,320 Good luck, we're getting closer. Bye. 1188 01:01:30,360 --> 01:01:31,280 He's never gonna do it. 1189 01:01:33,320 --> 01:01:38,480 Oh! I don't want this car to lose, I properly love it. 1190 01:01:38,520 --> 01:01:39,920 It's just so exciting. 1191 01:01:39,960 --> 01:01:42,560 All the things that make it bad and annoying 1192 01:01:42,600 --> 01:01:44,800 make it brilliant and exciting. 1193 01:01:44,840 --> 01:01:47,920 The noise, and the ride, and the roughness. 1194 01:01:47,960 --> 01:01:54,040 It's just raucous, raw, bareback, unplugged energy. 1195 01:01:56,520 --> 01:02:01,200 I want it to win, I want it to beat the plane. 1196 01:02:01,240 --> 01:02:04,560 But to do that, it would have to do 113 miles 1197 01:02:04,600 --> 01:02:08,360 in the time it takes a bus to do 23. 1198 01:02:08,400 --> 01:02:10,080 Stop requested. 1199 01:02:10,120 --> 01:02:11,200 Luckily, however, 1200 01:02:11,240 --> 01:02:13,960 buses have other people on them. 1201 01:02:14,000 --> 01:02:16,200 I don't like this bit. What do you do? 1202 01:02:16,240 --> 01:02:17,840 You just have to sit here. 1203 01:02:17,880 --> 01:02:20,440 Yeah. Bus travel is tricky to like, isn't it? 1204 01:02:20,480 --> 01:02:22,320 And we've gotta stop and change buses, 1205 01:02:22,360 --> 01:02:25,400 and if we lose ten, 15 minutes waiting for the next bus... 1206 01:02:25,440 --> 01:02:27,000 I know, it's not in the bag. 1207 01:02:29,520 --> 01:02:31,040 76 miles. 1208 01:02:33,120 --> 01:02:34,880 Stop requested. 1209 01:02:36,120 --> 01:02:37,840 Who pulled the... 1210 01:02:37,880 --> 01:02:42,280 Well, it is a bus with... Can't be rude to customers. 1211 01:02:42,320 --> 01:02:44,840 Nobody else pull the string until we've got off, please. 1212 01:02:44,880 --> 01:02:45,920 Let's just go all the way. 1213 01:02:53,080 --> 01:02:55,240 Hello. Where are you? 1214 01:02:55,280 --> 01:02:58,840 I think about 55 miles away from the finish line. 1215 01:02:58,880 --> 01:03:00,680 - 55? - Yeah. 1216 01:03:00,720 --> 01:03:02,160 Right, this is gonna be close. 1217 01:03:02,200 --> 01:03:04,680 Have you not got to Buffalo yet? 1218 01:03:04,720 --> 01:03:06,520 No, no, we're in Buffalo, 1219 01:03:06,560 --> 01:03:09,200 but we haven't got to the bus change point. 1220 01:03:09,240 --> 01:03:13,880 Oh, really? Oh! Does your bus keep stopping? 1221 01:03:13,920 --> 01:03:16,120 Well, of course it does, it's a bloody bus! 1222 01:03:16,160 --> 01:03:18,120 I haven't been on one since I was eight. 1223 01:03:18,160 --> 01:03:19,960 That kept stopping. 1224 01:03:20,000 --> 01:03:22,280 I thought, "I won't go on another one, they're stupid." 1225 01:03:22,320 --> 01:03:24,040 - They're still the same. - Bye-bye. 1226 01:03:26,680 --> 01:03:29,520 Amazingly, I was still in the running, 1227 01:03:29,560 --> 01:03:33,600 but my furious pace meant I had to make a decision. 1228 01:03:33,640 --> 01:03:37,760 Do I drive like Al Gore would want me to drive, at 55mph, 1229 01:03:37,800 --> 01:03:39,640 and possibly make the finish line 1230 01:03:39,680 --> 01:03:41,040 without having to fill up again, 1231 01:03:41,080 --> 01:03:43,640 or do I floor it, go really quickly, 1232 01:03:43,680 --> 01:03:45,120 and have a quick splash-and-dash? 1233 01:03:46,880 --> 01:03:49,200 Do I risk running out... Oh, no, I can't. 1234 01:03:52,240 --> 01:03:54,720 Meanwhile, not that far ahead, 1235 01:03:54,760 --> 01:03:58,080 we had reached the bus station. 1236 01:03:58,120 --> 01:04:01,200 And James, incredibly, was doing running. 1237 01:04:01,240 --> 01:04:03,000 Where the hell is it? 1238 01:04:03,040 --> 01:04:04,960 Niagara Falls, Niagara Falls. 48, look. 1239 01:04:05,000 --> 01:04:06,880 It's that one there. In we go. 1240 01:04:06,920 --> 01:04:09,920 Right, we need a swift departure. 1241 01:04:09,960 --> 01:04:11,720 Hello! Oh! He's missed the ramp. 1242 01:04:12,880 --> 01:04:14,520 This is so irritating. 1243 01:04:14,560 --> 01:04:17,720 I've got 35 miles to go, that's all, 1244 01:04:17,760 --> 01:04:19,520 but I'm not gonna make it on the fuel, 1245 01:04:19,560 --> 01:04:20,800 I just know I'm not. 1246 01:04:20,840 --> 01:04:23,680 I'm gonna have to fill up. Argh! 1247 01:04:25,960 --> 01:04:28,320 - So, 15 miles from here? - Yeah. 1248 01:04:30,080 --> 01:04:34,040 It's 35 miles. Four gallons will do it. 1249 01:04:36,320 --> 01:04:38,320 That will do. 1250 01:04:40,640 --> 01:04:43,200 Now approaching Mohawk Street. 1251 01:04:43,240 --> 01:04:44,560 No need to stop. 1252 01:04:44,600 --> 01:04:46,360 No, no need to stop, we're all fine. 1253 01:04:47,960 --> 01:04:50,160 Ah, roadworks! 1254 01:04:52,720 --> 01:04:54,880 - Ten miles, Richard Hammond. - Ten miles to go? 1255 01:04:56,520 --> 01:05:00,080 Yes, joy of joys, two actual lanes open. 1256 01:05:09,120 --> 01:05:10,200 Get a bloody move on! 1257 01:05:12,520 --> 01:05:15,440 12 million people a year visit Niagara Falls. 1258 01:05:15,480 --> 01:05:17,160 Do they? 1259 01:05:17,200 --> 01:05:19,520 I want them all to get in Jeremy's way, but not ours. 1260 01:05:21,720 --> 01:05:22,960 Yes, Niagara Falls. 1261 01:05:27,240 --> 01:05:32,400 No, no, no. No, a toll. Argh! 1262 01:05:32,440 --> 01:05:34,840 Luckily, though, I had an electronic pass, 1263 01:05:34,880 --> 01:05:37,160 which made paying much faster. 1264 01:05:37,200 --> 01:05:39,600 See, Hammond, it's right there. See it? 1265 01:05:39,640 --> 01:05:41,160 - Yeah. - See the spray? 1266 01:05:41,200 --> 01:05:42,720 Yeah. 1267 01:05:46,640 --> 01:05:48,320 It's not working. No! 1268 01:05:54,680 --> 01:05:56,040 Right. 1269 01:06:02,840 --> 01:06:04,880 Stop requested. 1270 01:06:09,640 --> 01:06:11,440 - Is this it? - This is our stop. 1271 01:06:12,600 --> 01:06:14,040 - Yeah. - Right. 1272 01:06:19,440 --> 01:06:20,440 Four miles. 1273 01:06:22,920 --> 01:06:25,680 Are you gonna have a heart attack on television? 1274 01:06:25,720 --> 01:06:26,600 Yeah. 1275 01:06:27,760 --> 01:06:29,360 Don't wanna lose this. 1276 01:06:33,120 --> 01:06:34,600 What's it say there? "Falls". 1277 01:06:47,680 --> 01:06:48,560 Right, this is it. 1278 01:06:52,160 --> 01:06:53,920 Where the hell are they? 1279 01:06:56,960 --> 01:06:59,280 There's the observation tower. 1280 01:06:59,320 --> 01:07:01,560 There is the observation tower, that's where I'm headed. 1281 01:07:03,160 --> 01:07:05,880 Dicky wheel. 1282 01:07:10,120 --> 01:07:15,120 Ah! Oh! I have been turned into Richard Hammond by six hours in that car. 1283 01:07:16,560 --> 01:07:18,680 This is it. There's the bridge thing. 1284 01:07:18,720 --> 01:07:21,080 Oh, God. Jesus. 1285 01:07:21,120 --> 01:07:23,360 - In we go. - Howdy. 1286 01:07:23,400 --> 01:07:24,960 Ooh. 1287 01:07:30,880 --> 01:07:32,560 Oh, God, so it all comes down to, 1288 01:07:32,600 --> 01:07:34,520 is he the other side of this barrier? 1289 01:07:35,840 --> 01:07:37,240 Can you get that door, Hammond? 1290 01:07:37,280 --> 01:07:39,640 Yeah, I got it, got it, got it. 1291 01:07:39,680 --> 01:07:44,920 Oh. Hang on. Oh. Look. 1292 01:07:44,960 --> 01:07:47,560 Let me sit down, sorry. Put the brake on. 1293 01:07:50,520 --> 01:07:51,600 How long you been here? 1294 01:07:51,640 --> 01:07:53,480 Long enough to do some nice pictures 1295 01:07:53,520 --> 01:07:55,720 - and some Instagram work. - Oh, good. 1296 01:07:55,760 --> 01:07:57,280 Why are you so tired? 1297 01:07:57,320 --> 01:07:59,480 I've been pushing him uphill! 1298 01:07:59,520 --> 01:08:01,760 - He doesn't like it. - He's actually sweating. 1299 01:08:01,800 --> 01:08:05,040 - He's been running! - I've run on the internet. 1300 01:08:05,080 --> 01:08:06,960 I thought he might have a heart attack. 1301 01:08:07,000 --> 01:08:11,320 James May is going to die live on TV. 1302 01:08:11,360 --> 01:08:13,840 I'm gonna do it here, just talk amongst yourselves. 1303 01:08:22,520 --> 01:08:26,240 The gloating gets worse. 1304 01:08:26,280 --> 01:08:30,880 So there we are, the answer to the question that no one was asking is: 1305 01:08:30,920 --> 01:08:35,200 Yes, the Ford GT is faster than an airliner. 1306 01:08:35,240 --> 01:08:37,160 No, it's faster than a bus. 1307 01:08:37,200 --> 01:08:39,040 And it crippled you and made you deaf. 1308 01:08:39,080 --> 01:08:41,720 He didn't exactly arrive in tip-top shape, did he? 1309 01:08:41,760 --> 01:08:43,360 No, but hang on, 1310 01:08:43,400 --> 01:08:45,600 that's because I had to push him around all day, 1311 01:08:45,640 --> 01:08:47,000 and it was like having 1312 01:08:47,040 --> 01:08:48,760 a massive wheeled suitcase with an opinion 1313 01:08:48,800 --> 01:08:51,240 that pointed at things like Rommel all the time. 1314 01:08:51,280 --> 01:08:54,040 He was the only one who had a comfortable day, actually. 1315 01:08:54,080 --> 01:08:55,120 - You were. - You were. 1316 01:08:55,160 --> 01:08:56,720 Cos the honest truth is, 1317 01:08:56,760 --> 01:09:00,080 that Ford GT went through a city and on a motorway, 1318 01:09:00,120 --> 01:09:02,240 and neither of those environments 1319 01:09:02,280 --> 01:09:03,880 is where it's really at home. 1320 01:09:03,920 --> 01:09:06,600 Yes, like I said in New York, it's a racing car. 1321 01:09:06,640 --> 01:09:10,040 Yes, which is why I'm going to get one brought over to the UK 1322 01:09:10,080 --> 01:09:13,760 and later I'm gonna thrash it round the Eboladrome. 1323 01:09:13,800 --> 01:09:15,880 - You're gonna do that? - As opposed to? 1324 01:09:15,920 --> 01:09:18,040 Well, uh... me? 1325 01:09:18,080 --> 01:09:20,880 People wanna know what it's like on a track, 1326 01:09:20,920 --> 01:09:22,320 not what it's like on its roof. 1327 01:09:24,280 --> 01:09:26,560 And on that terrible disappointment, for you, 1328 01:09:26,600 --> 01:09:27,800 it's time to end. 1329 01:09:27,840 --> 01:09:30,320 Thank you so much for watching, goodnight. 1330 01:09:31,305 --> 01:09:37,842 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from OpenSubtitles.org