1 00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:08,883 [twangy music] 2 00:00:08,883 --> 00:00:10,093 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪ 3 00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:11,636 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪ 4 00:00:11,636 --> 00:00:13,471 all: ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪ 5 00:00:13,471 --> 00:00:15,598 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪ 6 00:00:15,598 --> 00:00:16,808 ♪ Going down to South Park ♪ 7 00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:18,852 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪ 8 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,562 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪ 9 00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:22,272 ♪ People spouting: "Howdy neighbor!" ♪ 10 00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:23,606 ♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪ 11 00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:25,567 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪ 12 00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:28,653 [muffled singing] 13 00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:29,988 ♪ So come on down to South Park ♪ 14 00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:31,531 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪ 15 00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:40,540 Hey, Rick! 16 00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:42,167 Oh. Hey, Herb. 17 00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:45,211 So, you know what this week is, right? 18 00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:47,172 Um, is it Easter? 19 00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:49,883 No, it's my spring break! 20 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:52,010 No school for seven days! 21 00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:54,304 And guess what? Go pack your things 22 00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:57,474 because you and I are going on a big, romantic trip! 23 00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:58,767 Really? 24 00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,602 I just came from the travel agent. 25 00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:02,145 We're gonna spend five nights 26 00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:05,273 in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. 27 00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:07,859 Oh. 28 00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:10,737 - Well, what's the matter? - Myrtle Beach? Really? 29 00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,989 We all know what goes on down there. 30 00:01:12,989 --> 00:01:15,408 I don't do that stuff anymore, and neither should you. 31 00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:19,037 Rick, I don't wanna go down there to rage. 32 00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:22,081 I just wanna sit on a beach with you and watch the sunset. 33 00:01:22,081 --> 00:01:25,001 Yeah, but isn't Myrtle Beach where those places are? 34 00:01:25,001 --> 00:01:27,754 I don't wanna go into one of those places. 35 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:29,506 I don't think they even exist anymore. 36 00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:31,925 Don't you think this is just what we need, Rick? 37 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:34,344 You don't even wanna go into one of those places? 38 00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:35,845 Rick, I'm a little old for that. 39 00:01:35,845 --> 00:01:38,056 It'd be pretty pathetic if I did. 40 00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:39,516 Well... 41 00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:41,226 - Okay. - Ohh, Rick! 42 00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:42,852 We're gonna have the best time! 43 00:01:42,852 --> 00:01:44,270 I can't wait to spoil you. 44 00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:45,939 I really do need a vacation. 45 00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:50,109 Oh, we're gonna have the best spring break of anyone! 46 00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:53,571 All right, guys. You sure you packed everything? 47 00:01:53,571 --> 00:01:55,198 Yeah, that should be all of it. 48 00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:57,951 Well, I hope you and Shelley have a great spring break trip. 49 00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,911 I still feel bad, us going on a trip 50 00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:01,621 while you and Stan stay home. 51 00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:03,081 You guys have fun in Santa Fe. 52 00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:05,291 We're gonna do some dad and son stuff. 53 00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:06,459 Goodbye, Shelley! 54 00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:09,045 Have fun! I'll miss you! [kisses] 55 00:02:10,046 --> 00:02:12,215 There should be food enough to last you the week. 56 00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:14,384 Yes, yes, don't worry. We'll be fine. 57 00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,427 - Bye, Stan! Love you! - Love you, Mom! 58 00:02:16,427 --> 00:02:19,514 - Okay, guys, be safe. - Bye! 59 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,728 [slams door] Aww, jeah! 60 00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:28,231 Bitches are gone! 61 00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:31,067 Spring break! Spring break! Spring break! 62 00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:33,152 This is gonna be the best spring break ever. 63 00:02:33,152 --> 00:02:35,113 They're gonna be gone the whole week! 64 00:02:36,364 --> 00:02:38,575 [opens beer] Bro, what are you doing? 65 00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:40,368 I'm painting miniatures. 66 00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:41,953 Painting min-- 67 00:02:41,953 --> 00:02:43,580 Dude, do you not understand? 68 00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:45,415 Your mom and Shelley are gone. 69 00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:48,501 We can do whatever we want without any stupid rules. 70 00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:49,586 Whatever I want? 71 00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:50,670 Yeah, dude! 72 00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:51,963 That's what this is all about. 73 00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:54,090 Let's do some spring break shit! 74 00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:55,425 Can I see if any of the guys wanna come over 75 00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:56,926 to do "40k" all week? 76 00:02:56,926 --> 00:02:58,761 Hell, yeah, let's do some "40k." 77 00:02:58,761 --> 00:02:59,762 What is that? 78 00:02:59,762 --> 00:03:01,306 You don't know "Warhammer 40k"? 79 00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:03,600 Oh, yeah, "Warhammer 40k," of course. 80 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:04,934 I'm down. Let's do it. 81 00:03:04,934 --> 00:03:06,603 - Really? All week? - Yeah, dude! 82 00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:07,770 You're old enough. 83 00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:10,106 Sweet! I'm gonna call Tolkien! 84 00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:13,109 [chatter, children playing] 85 00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:20,450 Oh, Rick. 86 00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:23,161 Isn't this nice? This place is incredible. 87 00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:24,787 Yeah, it's really nice. 88 00:03:24,787 --> 00:03:26,831 I just don't know if I deserve all this. 89 00:03:26,831 --> 00:03:28,583 You do deserve it, Rick. 90 00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:30,793 You've made me really happy. 91 00:03:30,793 --> 00:03:32,337 Are you almost done? 92 00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:35,298 Yeah, all done. Here you go. 93 00:03:35,298 --> 00:03:38,134 Oh, Rick. Look at how happy we are. 94 00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:42,722 Oh, that salt water air is just so good. 95 00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:44,307 Can't wait to try some Southern food. 96 00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:46,809 - You hungry? - Yeah, sure. I could eat. 97 00:03:46,809 --> 00:03:48,770 A lot of things are different here in the South. 98 00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,480 Kinda hard to figure out what's good. 99 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:51,898 - [dreamy club music playing] - Yeah, all the stores 100 00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:53,566 and restaurants here aren't like Colorado. 101 00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:55,234 It's almost like another culture. 102 00:03:55,234 --> 00:03:56,653 ♪ ♪ 103 00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:57,654 Herb? 104 00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:58,863 ♪ ♪ 105 00:03:58,863 --> 00:04:00,239 Herb? 106 00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:05,453 ♪ ♪ 107 00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:07,455 - Oh, no. - Geez. 108 00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:09,040 It's still here. 109 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:13,169 ♪ ♪ 110 00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:15,380 You said you wouldn't go into one of these places. 111 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,548 I don't wanna go in. I just... 112 00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:19,634 can't believe some of these places are still here. 113 00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:21,844 Whoa! Look who's here! 114 00:04:21,844 --> 00:04:23,763 What are you doing in town? 115 00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:26,015 Oh, I'm just on vacation. 116 00:04:26,015 --> 00:04:27,183 This is Rick. 117 00:04:27,183 --> 00:04:28,643 Well, do you wanna come inside 118 00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:29,727 and rally a little bit? 119 00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:31,854 Oh, no thanks. I don't rally anymore. 120 00:04:31,854 --> 00:04:33,731 You sure? Everyone would love 121 00:04:33,731 --> 00:04:34,941 to rally with you again. 122 00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:36,985 I'm sure. I don't need to rally. 123 00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,861 I'm just here to relax. Take care. 124 00:04:38,861 --> 00:04:41,155 Well, if you change your mind, we'll be here! 125 00:04:41,155 --> 00:04:42,615 America number one! 126 00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:44,826 Number one, yep. 127 00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:47,286 Some people, huh? Geez. 128 00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:52,875 Okay, so I'm gonna have my Retributor Squad 129 00:04:52,875 --> 00:04:54,877 attack your Stormhawk Interceptor. 130 00:04:54,877 --> 00:04:56,504 Okay, that has a toughness of 7 131 00:04:56,504 --> 00:04:58,464 and a -1 to your hit rolls. 132 00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:00,216 [rattles dice, throws] 133 00:05:00,216 --> 00:05:02,218 Okay, so that's three, four, five hits. 134 00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:04,345 Okay, I'm gonna roll my saving throw, which is 3+. 135 00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:06,139 - [rattles dice, throws] - What in the actual fuck 136 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,724 are you guys doing? 137 00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:09,183 We're playing "40k." 138 00:05:09,183 --> 00:05:12,020 You guys have wasted another day of spring break 139 00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:14,814 - with this stupid shit. - [rattles dice, throws] 140 00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:17,900 Do you guys know what spring break is about? 141 00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:20,820 Wet t-shirt contests, mud wrestling. 142 00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:22,739 Don't you wanna get some bitches over here? 143 00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,824 I thought you were happy 'cause the bitches were gone? 144 00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:26,284 I'm happy the bitches are gone 145 00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:27,952 so we can have bitches over! 146 00:05:27,952 --> 00:05:30,246 Spring break is dude time. 147 00:05:30,246 --> 00:05:31,914 But you know what, 148 00:05:31,914 --> 00:05:34,042 today's society has ruined it all. 149 00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:38,921 They've taught you boys to be ashamed of being boys. 150 00:05:38,921 --> 00:05:43,426 Convinced you that your natural innate male desires are toxic. 151 00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:46,804 No matter what the liberals try to tell you, boys, 152 00:05:46,804 --> 00:05:49,348 you shouldn't be ashamed of your gender. 153 00:05:49,348 --> 00:05:52,101 Okay, Dad. So I've got an Imperium infantry unit 154 00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:53,311 within six inches of Celestine, 155 00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:55,063 so they have a +6 save. 156 00:05:56,230 --> 00:05:57,607 My God. 157 00:05:57,607 --> 00:06:00,401 What are we going to do? 158 00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:04,864 [club music pounding] 159 00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:07,909 [waves crashing] 160 00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:09,786 I'm going to sleep. 161 00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:11,454 I'm gonna go to sleep now. 162 00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:13,790 ♪ I feel so alone ♪ 163 00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:16,667 Here I go... to sleep. 164 00:06:16,667 --> 00:06:19,337 [exhales] [club music continues] 165 00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:20,880 Rick? 166 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:27,929 ♪ ♪ 167 00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:30,306 ♪ Go, look at me ♪ 168 00:06:30,306 --> 00:06:31,808 ♪ ♪ 169 00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:33,851 ♪ I feel so alone ♪ 170 00:06:33,851 --> 00:06:36,813 ♪ ♪ 171 00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:38,022 ♪ Come on ♪ 172 00:06:38,022 --> 00:06:40,650 ♪ ♪ 173 00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:43,152 ♪ Move with me ♪ 174 00:06:43,152 --> 00:06:44,695 ♪ Look at me ♪ 175 00:06:44,695 --> 00:06:47,824 ♪ ♪ 176 00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:50,076 ♪ I feel so alone ♪ 177 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:52,787 ♪ ♪ 178 00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:54,038 ♪ Come on ♪ 179 00:06:54,038 --> 00:06:56,499 ♪ ♪ 180 00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:59,168 Can I help you find any--oh, my God! 181 00:06:59,168 --> 00:07:00,336 Sir, you're back! 182 00:07:00,336 --> 00:07:02,004 Yeah, just browsing. 183 00:07:02,004 --> 00:07:04,340 You guys, it's him! He's here! 184 00:07:04,340 --> 00:07:05,466 - Oh, wow, it is him! - It's him? 185 00:07:05,466 --> 00:07:06,592 [crowd clamoring] 186 00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:07,844 Is that really you? 187 00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:09,220 What are you doing here? 188 00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:10,763 Could I get a selfie with you? 189 00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:12,723 Hey, uh, since you're here, 190 00:07:12,723 --> 00:07:14,100 you wanna rally a little bit? 191 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,852 No, no. I can't rally 192 00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:18,271 I've got a serious boyfriend. I'm just looking around. 193 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,398 Oh, come on. When are you gonna be here again? 194 00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:21,566 Live a little! 195 00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:24,026 Well, maybe I could do just a little bit. 196 00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:25,862 I mean, wha-- 197 00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:28,865 What the hell is up with all these Mexicans? Huh? 198 00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:30,533 [cheering] 199 00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:33,119 Yeah! I mean--I mean, Joe Biden obviously thinks 200 00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:34,954 immigrants are made of gold or something. 201 00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:37,206 Piece of shit! [cheering] 202 00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:39,584 Yeah! Yeah! 203 00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:43,045 [knocking] 204 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,924 Hey, Steven. You know your son's 205 00:07:46,924 --> 00:07:48,759 been over at my house for spring break? 206 00:07:48,759 --> 00:07:50,553 Yeah, of course I know. 207 00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:53,055 Well, you should see what they're doing, 208 00:07:53,055 --> 00:07:55,892 'cause it's a little hrrrp. 209 00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:57,393 Well--well, what are they doing? 210 00:07:57,393 --> 00:07:59,937 Look, I just think we better talk with our boys 211 00:07:59,937 --> 00:08:02,398 to counteract all the ways in which society 212 00:08:02,398 --> 00:08:05,193 has been pathologizing masculinity. 213 00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:07,570 I mean, you went balls-out on spring break, right? 214 00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:10,281 Tried to see chicks' boobs and stuff? 215 00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:12,325 Mm, no I didn't. 216 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,410 Well, no, I mean, you weren't ashamed 217 00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:15,995 of being a guy, right? 218 00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:17,246 Like, you went out to the lake 219 00:08:17,246 --> 00:08:19,582 and tried to play grab ass with girls, right? 220 00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:22,501 No, I did not. 221 00:08:22,501 --> 00:08:25,087 Why--why are you saying that? 222 00:08:25,087 --> 00:08:27,924 Why are you making those words with your mouth? 223 00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:30,301 Oh, hey, Randy. Everything okay with the boys? 224 00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:32,386 Ohh, right. 225 00:08:32,386 --> 00:08:34,472 Sorry--sorry, yeah, everything's great. 226 00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:37,183 They're playing a little table miniatures game. 227 00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:39,352 It's great. 228 00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,812 Just, uh, came to let you know they're good. 229 00:08:41,812 --> 00:08:42,939 [under breath] Don't worry. 230 00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:44,982 I'm gonna take care of it. 231 00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:47,777 I'll tell you what else. 232 00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:49,820 This whole situation in the Ukraine, 233 00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:51,572 that wouldn't be happening on my watch. 234 00:08:51,572 --> 00:08:53,032 [cheers and applause] 235 00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:56,410 The problem is now we all have a president who's afraid. 236 00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:59,497 And that's why Joe and the ho have got to go! 237 00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:00,831 [cheers and applause] [cell phone rings] 238 00:09:00,831 --> 00:09:02,667 And I'll tell you another thing. 239 00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,460 It's--oh, hang on a second. 240 00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:07,213 {\an8}Oh, crap. 241 00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:08,631 {\an8}Ho--hold on a second, everybody. 242 00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:10,800 Uh-- [shushing] 243 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:13,010 [clears throat] [answers phone] 244 00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:14,971 Oh, hey, Rick! 245 00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:16,180 Where are you? 246 00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:17,557 I couldn't sleep, Rick. 247 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,891 I was just tossing and turning 248 00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:20,142 and I didn't wanna wake you up, 249 00:09:20,142 --> 00:09:22,645 so I decided to come out and buy some sunscreen 250 00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:24,313 and stuff for our beach day tomorrow. 251 00:09:24,313 --> 00:09:26,023 Oh, okay. 252 00:09:26,023 --> 00:09:28,567 I got scared that you were out rallying. 253 00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:30,861 Ohh, geez, well, that's silly. 254 00:09:30,861 --> 00:09:33,072 Last thing I wanna do is rally. 255 00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:34,532 Listen up-- get back to sleep, Rick. 256 00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:35,950 I'll--I'll be right home, okay? 257 00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:38,536 Okay. Sorry for panicking. Bye. 258 00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:40,329 Bye-bye. [hangs up] 259 00:09:40,329 --> 00:09:41,789 Okay, uh, nice to meet you, everybody. 260 00:09:41,789 --> 00:09:43,165 I need to get going. 261 00:09:43,165 --> 00:09:44,959 Oh, come on. Just rally with us a little bit more. 262 00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:46,252 No, I really can't. 263 00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:48,254 Just a few more minutes. Come on! 264 00:09:49,338 --> 00:09:52,174 All right, I guess I can rally just a little bit longer. 265 00:09:52,174 --> 00:09:54,051 I mean, after all, I am here for you. 266 00:09:54,051 --> 00:09:56,345 I am your warrior! 267 00:09:56,345 --> 00:09:57,763 Liberal left! 268 00:09:57,763 --> 00:09:59,473 Hunter Biden laptop! 269 00:09:59,473 --> 00:10:00,850 [cheers and applause] 270 00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:03,311 Yeah! Yeah! 271 00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:11,319 [snoring] 272 00:10:15,197 --> 00:10:16,532 Uh-- 273 00:10:16,532 --> 00:10:18,868 Ugh. Oh, geez. 274 00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,828 Herb? Herb, you gotta get up. 275 00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:22,872 We're gonna miss our whole beach day. 276 00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:25,875 Oh, it's--it's just the time change, Rick. 277 00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:27,043 You enjoy the beach. 278 00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:29,587 I just gotta sleep a little longer. 279 00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:31,088 Okay. 280 00:10:32,673 --> 00:10:33,632 [snoring] 281 00:10:33,632 --> 00:10:36,802 [chatter, waves crashing] 282 00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:40,765 [somber music] 283 00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:46,062 ♪ ♪ 284 00:10:48,647 --> 00:10:49,732 [rattles dice, throws] 285 00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:50,941 Dude, it's so awesome being able 286 00:10:50,941 --> 00:10:52,234 to leave "Warhammer" set up all night 287 00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:53,361 and come back to it in the morning. 288 00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:55,363 I know, it's great. 289 00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:58,240 Hey, hey, you guys. What did you do? 290 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,242 - What do you mean? - I mean the cops are here. 291 00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:01,827 What did you guys do? 292 00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:05,498 We're just continuing our game of "40k" from last night. 293 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:06,916 Okay, you guys, just stop 294 00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:09,085 'cause the police wanna ask you some questions. 295 00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,419 Come on in, officers. 296 00:11:10,419 --> 00:11:12,588 [cracking whip] Hello, gentlemen. 297 00:11:12,588 --> 00:11:13,756 Hands up. 298 00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:16,175 We heard somebody in here's been bad. 299 00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:18,844 Oh, no, guys. Looks like you're in big trouble. 300 00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:20,638 You better read 'em their rights. 301 00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:22,306 Hey, whoa, whoa! Don't touch the models. 302 00:11:22,306 --> 00:11:23,599 We spent a long time on this. 303 00:11:23,599 --> 00:11:25,017 Stan, stop with that shit. 304 00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:26,185 Come on, get into it. 305 00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:28,354 Wet t-shirt contest! 306 00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,106 Hey, what the fuck? 307 00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:32,400 - What? - Hey, you fuck guy! 308 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,151 You do not harass the ladies! 309 00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:36,445 Well, I wanted strippers, not prudes. 310 00:11:36,445 --> 00:11:38,739 [cocks gun] You wanna talk, big man? Huh? 311 00:11:38,739 --> 00:11:40,366 You wanna be big man? 312 00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:41,742 Whoa, whoa, okay. I-- 313 00:11:41,742 --> 00:11:44,328 I think I need to explain something to you, okay? 314 00:11:44,328 --> 00:11:46,622 Look, I'm just trying to combat the messages 315 00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:48,624 that the liberal left is putting out to young men 316 00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:51,460 about their male instincts being toxic. 317 00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:52,837 The fuck you talking? 318 00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:54,463 You know, I'm trying to show my son 319 00:11:54,463 --> 00:11:56,507 and his nerdy little friend what a real party is 320 00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:58,551 'cause society wants them to be ashamed 321 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,678 of their masculine natures. 322 00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:03,097 - You want real party? - Yeah! 323 00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:05,558 Truth is, I got a whole barn full of weed. 324 00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:08,811 I will call some friends. 325 00:12:15,192 --> 00:12:16,652 The person you are trying to reach 326 00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:18,154 cannot be located. 327 00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:20,448 Please leave a message. [beep] 328 00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:21,699 Where are you? 329 00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:23,742 I got back from the beach and you were gone. 330 00:12:23,742 --> 00:12:25,244 Please pick up. 331 00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:34,920 [club music pounding] 332 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:36,005 ♪ ♪ 333 00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:38,090 [lively chatter] 334 00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:39,383 ♪ ♪ 335 00:12:39,383 --> 00:12:42,094 Excuse me. Excuse me. 336 00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:44,680 [crowd cheering] 337 00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:46,390 ♪ ♪ 338 00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:48,350 And we're gonna take Georgia, 339 00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:51,061 and--and we're gonna take Arizona this time! 340 00:12:51,061 --> 00:12:52,521 [cheering] 341 00:12:52,521 --> 00:12:55,191 And when I say we're gonna take Arizona in the election, 342 00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:56,734 I--I mean we're gonna take it again. 343 00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:59,069 'cause we all know I won it last time, too! 344 00:12:59,069 --> 00:13:03,365 Oh. Hey, everybody. 345 00:13:03,365 --> 00:13:04,742 This is Rick. 346 00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:07,870 ♪ ♪ 347 00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:11,373 Rick! Rick, will you just wait! 348 00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:13,751 You know it's 2:00 in the morning? 349 00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:16,545 I was alone at the hotel while you were out rallying! 350 00:13:16,545 --> 00:13:19,215 I just wanted to rally for a little bit. 351 00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:21,675 Yeah, you really look like you just rallied a little bit. 352 00:13:21,675 --> 00:13:24,053 I got a text that Tucker was in town, 353 00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:26,514 and I just wanted to go rally for a little bit. 354 00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:29,016 You really think those people care about you, Herb? 355 00:13:29,016 --> 00:13:31,769 They don't. They just wanna do that. 356 00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:34,563 Rick, I got it out of my system now. 357 00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:36,232 We can still have a great vacation. 358 00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:37,900 Let's just start over tomorrow. 359 00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:39,610 Okay? 360 00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:44,323 [electronic music blaring] [excited chatter] 361 00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:48,702 ♪ ♪ 362 00:13:48,702 --> 00:13:51,330 Right, all right, let's do this! 363 00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:52,373 Okay, you ready? 364 00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:54,917 Three, two, one. Go! 365 00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:57,253 [cheering] Check it out, guys! 366 00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:00,297 Ahh! [laughs] 367 00:14:00,297 --> 00:14:01,590 Huh? Whoa! [snapping] 368 00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:03,425 [crashing] 369 00:14:03,425 --> 00:14:05,427 ♪ ♪ 370 00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:07,263 Sir, do you think you can walk? 371 00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:09,098 [muffled] No, I don't think so. 372 00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:11,433 Sir, we think you've had too much to drink, 373 00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:13,269 and we should probably take you to the hospital. 374 00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:15,312 No, I can't. I have to stay here 375 00:14:15,312 --> 00:14:17,022 'cause I'm in charge of my son. 376 00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:19,483 Today's woke culture has vilified his manhood 377 00:14:19,483 --> 00:14:21,193 and made him ashamed of himself. 378 00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:23,904 Okay, sir, but it appears you have a broken arm 379 00:14:23,904 --> 00:14:25,447 and several fractured ribs. 380 00:14:25,447 --> 00:14:27,074 Yeah, but I can't leave 381 00:14:27,074 --> 00:14:29,618 because my son's natural instincts are being suppressed 382 00:14:29,618 --> 00:14:31,704 and it's leading to behavioral problems. 383 00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:33,289 You see the shit he's doing? 384 00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:35,958 He's over there playing with dolls. 385 00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:45,342 It's pretty good fondue, right? 386 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:48,721 We should probably just go back to the hotel. 387 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,723 You've got the shakes from rallying all night. 388 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:53,350 No, no, Rick. This is our vacation. 389 00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:54,977 I want us to have a nice 390 00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:56,812 romantic lunch. [retches] 391 00:14:56,812 --> 00:14:59,064 Maybe we should just go back to Colorado. 392 00:14:59,064 --> 00:15:02,026 No, Rick. I'm gonna make this up to you. 393 00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:03,611 I don't wanna rally anymore. 394 00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:05,154 There's just a lot of people out there 395 00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:07,156 who won't let it go, you know? 396 00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:08,824 Yes, and you can't be around them. 397 00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:10,826 I know, I know. 398 00:15:10,826 --> 00:15:12,244 Let me just-- 399 00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:14,997 Let me just go throw up because I'll feel much better. 400 00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:17,166 Okay, go throw up, Herb. 401 00:15:21,462 --> 00:15:23,964 [vomits] 402 00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:29,553 Oh, God. 403 00:15:29,553 --> 00:15:31,764 Come on, just stop. Stop. 404 00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,349 The country is fine. 405 00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:35,017 You have better things to do. 406 00:15:35,017 --> 00:15:37,144 [door opens] 407 00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:41,815 [stall door creaks] 408 00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:50,115 [taps] 409 00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:58,874 Yeah, oh yeah! That's it! Yeah! 410 00:15:58,874 --> 00:16:01,293 We're gonna get abortion rights thrown the hell out 411 00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:04,338 so those dirty lesbians can't keep having abortions! 412 00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:06,131 Yeah! Oh, yeah, man! 413 00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:08,592 We're gonna get those Black Lives Matter protestors 414 00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:10,469 off the streets with a fire hose! 415 00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:12,721 Yeah, America! both: Yeah! 416 00:16:12,721 --> 00:16:13,889 Rick! 417 00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:15,849 Fuck you. 418 00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:19,436 Well, to hell with you! 419 00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:21,063 Nobody controls me! 420 00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:24,274 - Yeah! - Yeah! America! Yeah! 421 00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:29,071 [electronic music pounding] 422 00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:32,825 [police radio chatter] 423 00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,743 ♪ ♪ 424 00:16:34,743 --> 00:16:36,203 [knock at door] 425 00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:39,373 Can I help you? 426 00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:41,083 We've had some complaints about a party 427 00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:43,001 that's been going on for three days here. 428 00:16:43,001 --> 00:16:44,420 Hey, what's going on? 429 00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:46,046 [laughs] 430 00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:48,424 All right, guys, who ordered the stripper? 431 00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:50,551 Can we come in and look around, sir? 432 00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:52,594 Oh, yeah! Come on in. 433 00:16:52,594 --> 00:16:54,596 [smack] Honk honk! 434 00:16:54,596 --> 00:16:55,973 All right, get down on the ground! 435 00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:58,016 Whoa, whoa! No, no, no. It's okay. 436 00:16:58,016 --> 00:16:59,309 I'm just helping my boy 437 00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:00,978 through the media assault on manliness. 438 00:17:00,978 --> 00:17:04,189 [Taser crackles] Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! 439 00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:05,774 I need to see some ID, sir. 440 00:17:05,774 --> 00:17:08,777 Uh! Okay! Okay, Stan! Stan! 441 00:17:08,777 --> 00:17:10,696 - [rattles dice, throws] - Yeah? 442 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:13,115 Can you get my wallet from the upstairs? 443 00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:15,284 Yeah, soon as we're done with this psyker phase. 444 00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:16,702 I have five psyker units. 445 00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:19,038 {\an8}Oh, my God. This is so embarrassing. 446 00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:23,167 Hey! Freeze! You, right there! 447 00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:26,295 That's Alonzo Fineski, the Romanian sex trafficker! 448 00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:27,713 Fuck you, big man! 449 00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:29,048 [fires gun] 450 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,466 [gunfire] 451 00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:32,176 Ahh! Oh, my God! 452 00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:34,011 - [grunts] - Ahh! 453 00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:37,097 [gunfire] 454 00:17:37,097 --> 00:17:39,975 Stan? Stan? 455 00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:43,020 {\an8}[indistinct chatter, PA announcement] 456 00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:46,023 {\an8}[somber music] 457 00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:48,776 ♪ ♪ 458 00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:50,694 And now, ladies and gentlemen, 459 00:17:50,694 --> 00:17:52,613 here he is, 460 00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:54,990 the once and future president 461 00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:56,992 of the United States of America! 462 00:17:56,992 --> 00:17:59,995 [cheers and applause] 463 00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:06,460 Thank you. I am here today 464 00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:08,712 {\an8}for those who have been wronged. 465 00:18:08,712 --> 00:18:10,214 {\an8}[cheering] 466 00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:13,425 {\an8}For those who have been betrayed. 467 00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:15,719 {\an8}And let me tell you 468 00:18:15,719 --> 00:18:19,681 {\an8}that nobody in this country has been betrayed more 469 00:18:19,681 --> 00:18:21,975 {\an8}than my Ricky Rick. 470 00:18:21,975 --> 00:18:23,936 {\an8}Huh? What? [confused clamoring] 471 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:27,523 {\an8}Rick, I am so sorry. 472 00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:29,358 And if you are out there, 473 00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:32,194 I want you to know that I love you. 474 00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:34,279 You are the only thing that keeps me from doing 475 00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:36,740 all this stupid stuff. 476 00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:39,701 When I met you, I felt in control of myself 477 00:18:39,701 --> 00:18:41,620 for the first time. 478 00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:45,415 {\an8}There has never been anyone who calmed me down more 479 00:18:45,415 --> 00:18:48,544 {\an8}than my little Ricky Bear. 480 00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:50,587 {\an8}You are my boo. 481 00:18:50,587 --> 00:18:54,591 Did he just say that Rick is his boo? 482 00:18:54,591 --> 00:18:58,720 The truth is, some of us simply can't be alone. 483 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:03,725 We need a relationship so that we're accountable to someone. 484 00:19:03,725 --> 00:19:06,812 I realize now how broken I am 485 00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:11,400 without that person who keeps me from destroying myself. 486 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:12,901 Sh-Sharon? 487 00:19:12,901 --> 00:19:16,613 And all I've ever done was take you for granted 488 00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:19,324 and wished I wasn't being controlled. 489 00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:22,286 [sobbing] Hi, Sharon. 490 00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:25,414 Will you please come home? 491 00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:29,001 Rick, I am a giant piece of shit without you. 492 00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,587 I don't deserve another chance. 493 00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:33,297 You have been wronged. 494 00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:35,757 You have been betrayed. 495 00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:40,929 {\an8}And the only person who deserves retribution is me. 496 00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:46,101 I know you all really want to rally and rage, but... 497 00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:49,271 the only thing I have to say is... 498 00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:53,400 {\an8}is that I love Rick. [pounding podium] 499 00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:58,238 {\an8}I love Rick! I love Rick! 500 00:19:58,238 --> 00:20:00,574 [together] 501 00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:02,367 I love Rick. 502 00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:06,997 I love Rick! I love Rick! 503 00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:09,166 [all chanting] I love Rick! 504 00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:10,876 - I love Rick! - I love you, Rick! 505 00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:14,004 all: I love Rick! I love Rick! 506 00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:16,131 - I love Rick! - Yeah! 507 00:20:16,131 --> 00:20:18,759 all: I love Rick! [all clamoring] 508 00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:20,969 I love Rick! I love Rick! 509 00:20:20,969 --> 00:20:23,805 I love Rick! I love Rick! 510 00:20:23,805 --> 00:20:25,015 I love Rick! 511 00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:26,934 Oh, crap. Here we go again! 512 00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:28,685 all: I love Rick! I love Rick! 513 00:20:28,685 --> 00:20:29,853 I love-- 514 00:20:29,853 --> 00:20:33,941 [sobbing softly] 515 00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:45,118 It's okay, Randy. We're back. 516 00:20:45,118 --> 00:20:49,039 I'm sorry I cut your trip short. 517 00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:50,707 [sighs] It's okay, Randy. 518 00:20:50,707 --> 00:20:53,126 You made it longer than last spring break. 519 00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:00,884 - Oh. Hey, Mom. - Stanley, 520 00:21:00,884 --> 00:21:02,552 what have I told you about playing "Warhammer" 521 00:21:02,552 --> 00:21:05,138 - on the kitchen table? - Aw! 522 00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:23,573 Oh, Rick! 523 00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:28,912 I don't wanna go through all that again. 524 00:21:28,912 --> 00:21:32,290 I just wanna stay in South Park with you. 525 00:21:32,290 --> 00:21:36,169 Well, I guess we'll just have to see what happens. 526 00:21:43,385 --> 00:21:46,888 [twangy music] 527 00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:52,477 [twangy music] 528 00:21:52,477 --> 00:21:59,526 ♪ ♪